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According to BoingBoing, Fark's Drew Curtis received a particularly hostile e-mail in response to a Fark comment thread about yesterday's Life & Style Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes break-up story (which was, of course, immediately denied by Team Cruise). Curtis noted that the sender's IP address belongs to Paramount Studios, leading him to hypothesize that the anonymous, grammatically innovative e-mailer was Cruise himself. The e-mail:

I can't believe that people actually read and or believe this bull shit that is posted on fark.com. This is the first time I have been to fark.com and definatly the last. Considering I am witness to a lot of shit that goes on in hollywood, its hard to post some complete bull shit rumor say about tom cruise and katie holmes breaking up when they are sitting in front of you acting completely normal and sane. You guys must have small penis's since you have to make up shit for people to notice you. Hate to be with you in bed. Dumb shits! You may think I am, at least Im getting rich off being honest and not lieing to everyone in the fucking world.

We'd love to believe that Cruise spends his downtime lost in vanity Google session and firing off unhinged missives about the health of his relationship [Ed.note: Tom: call us!], but we have a hard time picturing the Scientology Information Officers letting him anywhere near a computer, for fear the rest of his life would be consumed by a crusade to wipe out the unchecked negativity of the internets. And with so many people on the Paramount lot (where his production company is housed) whose jobs are dependent on Cruise's career, the message really could've come from anyone. So as long as we're taking guesses as to the angry writer with the disabled spell-checker, we might as well finger a far more likely suspect: Paramount Emperor Brad Grey. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?