Like a Civil War battlefield littered with corpses and moaning, limb-severed casualties, the smoke is still clearing from the events of Black Wednesday, a Paramount lot massacre that culminated in General Brad Grey rearing his steed onto its hind legs, triumphantly holding his sword aloft, and swearing the 'Mount shall rise again. Today, the NY Times interviews Grey, confronting the neophyte studio boss about his various war crimes (ex: firing 33-year distribution vet Wayne Lewellen a few days before Christmas), and industry rumors that Grey-appointment Gail Berman isn't working out:

The coming days at Paramount are probably going to get a little weird, as staffers from DreamWorks moving onto the lot settle into office chairs still warm from their previous owner's posteriors and suffer the withering glares of the lunch buddies left behind. But in any massive corporate reorganization there are bound to be some employees who fall through the cracks, and an as-yet unshuffled operative asks us the big, post-pinkslip existential question: If no one tells me I'm fired, do I have to leave?

Moments ago, Paramount Head Executioner Brad Grey addressed his rapidly depleting workforce to explain some of the executive moves that were made on this Black Wednesday, following the official closing of the DreamWorks acquisition. An excerpt from the e-mail:

Operatives on the Paramount lot have told us that the long-anticipated layoffs resulting from Brad Grey's early Christmas gift to himself, the DreamWorks acquisition, have finally begun. Early reports have Paramount's development and marketing departments getting swept away in favor of the DW staff, but from what we've heard, workers across the lot are so nervous about the cuts that Grey might as well be wandering around in a Grim Reaper outfit, randomly tapping the soon-to-be pinkslipped on the shoulder and yelling "Boo!" Yesterday's rumors were that 70-100 people might be going, but today's whispered number is 170. Developing...

A reader driving up Gower Street this afternoon snapped these pics (he even apologized for the dirty windows) of a truck carrying what he believes to be giant Oscar statues from storage on the Paramount lot to some destination elsewhere in Hollywood. We hope that he's correct about the statues, as one of our operatives was nervous that some of the inevitable layoffs from the DreamWorks acquisition might be beginning very soon, and we can't bear to think that Brad Grey quietly ordered some redundant employees bronzed, covered in plastic, and shipped out on the flatbeds of pick-up trucks.

Shockwaves are still radiating from yesterday's announcement that veteran distribution president Wayne Lewellen had been fired from his post of 33 years by turning-out-to-be-not-so-nice New New Paramount head Brad Grey, a man who enjoys firing people in the same way others might enjoy, say, golf. Page Six has further details:

· Heads at the New New Paramount continue to roll! Veteran Paramount distribution president Wayne Lewellen, described as "part of the studio's old guard," (italics ours) is sensitively drop kicked in time for the new fiscal quarter and replaced with DreamWorks' Jim Tharp. [Variety]
· A noted lead actor on a TV comedy is making his feature film directing debut in a movie about "alienated youths in suburban New Jersey." No, this isn't a two-year-old story about Zach Braff and Garden State. It's Entourage's Kevin Connolly directing The Gardener of Eden, produced by his buddy Leonardo DiCaprio. [Variety]
· Oxygen network orders 10 episodes of The Janice Dickinson Project, a reality show about the self-anointed "first supermodel," in the hopes of netting the women's network the highly coveted 50-79 "nightmare bitch" demographic that is so attractive to advertisers. [Variety]
· VH1 will launch a new show called Web Junk 20 in January, a weekly top 20 featuring the hottest viral internet videos. So basically, by the time the Chronic(What)cles of Narnia goes from SNL, to the internet, then back to TV, it will surely be as hysterical as the first time you saw it. [THR]
· A conservative media watchdog group called The American Family Association is stepping up its campaign against NBC's upcoming series, Daniel, which their website claims is about a "drug-addicted Episcopal priest whose wife depends heavily on her midday martinis," or, as it was pitched in the room, "Thornbirds meets Will & Grace." [THR]

Today's LAT reports that New New Paramount™ chief Brad Grey, still twitching from the acquisitive rush of the studio's DreamWorks buy, is trying to add Lost producer/MI:III (hey, that's really fun to type!) director/current Hollywood It-boy JJ Abrams to his hoard:

An operative informs us that New New Paramount™ head Brad Grey, apparently insecure that placing a gift-wrapped Steven Spielberg under the tree wasn't a sufficient expression of his love for his flock, has put on his Santa hat once again:

A crucial step in any blockbuster studio move is the self-congratulatory memo to one's underlings following the public deal announcement. New New Paramount™ employees arrived to find this companywide e-mail from DreamWorks-swallowing leader Brad Grey in their inboxes this morning, which, quite frankly, lacked the "Holy fucking shit, I just stole Steven Spielberg from Universal! General Electric is Viacom's bitch!" panache that we were hoping for.

· Paramount prepares a bid for DreamWorks SKG, obviously fulfilling a secret deal with Steven Spielberg and David Geffen to drive up their studio's price for inevitable purchaser Universal. For his cooperation, Brad Grey will receive a truckload of stuffed E.T. dolls and unlimited weekend stays at Geffen's Malibu compound—including optional day-long shiatsu massage by the strongest-handed masseuse the Gay Mafia has to offer. [THR/Reuters]
· It's like First & 10 meets Unscripted, but the actors are taller: George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh's Section Eight sets up an unscripted comedy series about the NBA at HBO. [Variety]
· Spelling Television lets go of almost all of its staff, prejudicially shitcanning about 25 employees. (No word on whether Aaron Spelling's personal office chef escaped the bloodletting.) The company keeps its bigwigs and becomes a mere pod at Paramount TV. [THR]
· Scarlett Johansson continues to Hoover up all available mid-20s female roles, signing on for Christopher Nolan's dueling-magician pic The Prestige. [Variety]
· Jeff Probst will host Survivor for at least 2 more years, including the franchise's most ambitious installment to date, Survivor: Locked in a Janitorial Closet with a Well-Criscoed Richard Hatch. [Variety]

Hey, all you people who care about stories of "national importance," breathlessly awaiting your fancypants indictments for CIA leaks. Hollywood's got its own problems, thank you very much, as its collective face turns blue waiting for indictments to be handed down in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, when we will finally find out which of the industry's players wind up groped by the cold hand of scandal. The NY Times runs down the all-star roster of names tied up in the case against the eavesdroppingest private detective in town:

Some eight months after welcoming Brad Grey into the family and issuing a State of the Studio memo to his employees declaring that everything was super great at the New Paramount, relentlessly upbeat Viacom co-president stood in front of a Merrill Lynch investor conference and officially upgraded his movie-making fiefdom to "the most exciting studio in town":

The LAT reports that a mere five months after assuming the crown at The New Pararmount™, Brad Grey has finally sold off Brillstein-Grey, his management company, to former co-workers Cynthia Pett-Dante and Jon Liebman. ("Longtime lieutenant" Marc Gurvitz is sitting this round out, as he's going through a divorce and that might get complicated.) Not that anyone was going to start passing around a hat for Grey now that he's solely Paramount's property, but he's still got a thumb in some of B-G's biggest pies:

The LAT pops over to Paramount to take a look at how new studio chief Brad Grey has put his imprint on The New Paramount™, soliciting quotes from employees and business associates about how much better things seem to be running than in the final, sputtering days of the Sherry Lansing Era, and noting successes both big (winning a stare-down with Tom Cruise over Mission: Impossible 3's costs) and small (the making-the-trains-run-on-time flourish of reducing DVD prices for employees). But most of all, the fun-loving new boss wants everyone to stop acting so stuffy and chill the fuck out, OK?