Today we learn that Kendra Jade, the porno lady who once boned recent Britney Spears castoff Kevin Federline, is, like Brit-Brit herself, a mistress of the fine art of verse. Boy, that guy sure has a type, right? Poetry-writing chicks! That's his type! Anyway, we know from all of your comments about our grammar and spelling errors that you Gawker readers consider yourselves extremely well-qualified judges of literary merit. So we hope you'll help us decide whether Kendra or Britney hath the more fluent pen.

The rise of the citizen journalist reliably contributes some thoughtful discourse to the public sphere, and it's never more apparent than when one news story dominates everyone's consciousness — as is the case right now, vis a vis the cops who fired 50 shots at a groom on his wedding day cause they thought he'd said something about getting a gun.

Slapping some sloppy white coke lines on a photo of Lindsay Lohan's nostrils and saying that you're parodying reviled gossip blogger Perez Hilton isn't funny. It's like making "your mom's a whore" jokes about someone whose mom is, in fact, a whore. Slapping some pink stars on a photo of Paris Hilton and saying that you're parodying Trent "Pink is the New Blog," however, totally is funny — especially when you back it up with hilariously retarded faux-gossip from the future like, for example, the straight-to-DVD release of a movie about "What happens when a child's wish leads to a wacky karmic mix-up that causes a mediocre 35 year-old actor to switch bodies with an overdramatic eight year-old girl who dreams of being the biggest rock star in the whole wild world?" and a story about how Tim Gunn, thought to be "queerer than a three-way between Oscar Wilde and Wham!" is actually straight. Check it out, Beeyotches!!!

Too Much Information: Blogs Are The New Gay [SpazOutNY]

Today, Frank Sennett writes that he has researched and compiled the best celebrity blogs out there, and that Ro's comes out on top. We beg to differ. While we've been fascinated and entertained by Rosie's poetic stylings (who can forget the classic "in the karan loft/no less/barbra can u hear me/i am going to philly"?) we're not sure that writing free verse and being delightfully unashamed of banality ("i am watching lost/the cliff notes it seems/being a newbie/i am lost") should be all that qualifies someone to be "America's Next Top Blogging Celebrity," especially when the competition includes gems like David Byrne's blog and turds like Moby's.

We usually hate activisty-types, with their earnest sermons and inconvenient dietary restrictions and the way they leave the pillows on the guest futon permanently patchouli-scented when they come to visit. Ew! But we have found ourselves cottoning to the message of one particular group of protestors: the righteous individuals at nonprofit group Take Back New York. These courageous bloggers have an odd, but charming, mission and enough free time on their hands to photoshop wooden clogs onto the Naked Cowboy's feet — a winning combination. Anyway, their point is that New York should revert to the control of its original colonizer: The Netherlands. We're not so sure about replacing hot dogs with herring, but we can get behind at least one aspect of the takeover.

So, for various reasons, we've been pretty obsessively refreshing Valleywag, "Silicon Valley's tech gossip rag." We have to admit that we've felt a more-than-miniscule frisson of joy as we've watched that site's guest editor struggle and scrape in an attempt to make the mandated 12-a-day post count. But we're better people than that; we know how difficult it is to produce content on a tight schedule while contending with occasionally undermedicated commenters and the vagaries of a news cycle that sometimes produces nothing worthy of discussing. And while we lack certain advantages that our colleague over there possesses (it's a lot easier to get your e-mails returned when you're an evil billionaire Internet mogul with a lengthy track record of providing journalists as much prosecco as they can slam down until the third bottle runs out), we'd like to offer a few pointers in an attempt to aid the transition. After the jump, our advice.

"I'm worried about bloggers," she said. "(A post) starts as a rumor and within 24 hours it's repeated as fact."

We're tired, so we'll just let our favorite Big Apple DumbBelle speak for herself. It is big and beautiful, though, we'll say that much.

Variety reports that the Writer's Guild of America filed a formal complaint with the National Labor Relations Board, claiming that producer Ken Mok has violated federal labor laws by refusing to reinstate former Television Without Pity recapper Daniel J. Blau and his fellow fired writers.
The most worrisome part of the article, for Top Model fans, is the note in the complaint that Mok had "informed the strikers that they no longer have jobs because the next cycle of the show will be produced without writers."
Produced without writers?!? So does that mean there will be more or less dialogue like this?

In a past life, we remember receiving blogger Brooke "Belle In The Big Apple" Parkhurst's book proposal and being more annoyed by it than by anything we'd seen in a while. Worse than the Scary Sadshawness of Brooke's nom de blog was the fact that, in the cover letter, her agent used the fact that she'd been "mentioned on Gawker" (Mentioned! on GAWKER!!!) to prop up his claim that she was "New York's new 'It' Girl." (We're paraphrasing here, not having a Cam Jansen memory, but you can rest assured that whatever the letter actually said was even more annoying). Anyway, cut to this morning: after having attended this ultra-exclusive Spy magazine party that you may have heard about a little bit, Brooke sent us a hot tip: she'd been spoken to by Revlon billionaire and serial monogamist Ron Perelman. Can you imagine? Well, you don't have to:

Daniel J. Blau is kind of like the guy who went from being in a Judas Priest cover band to being in Judas Priest: he used to recap America's Next Top model at Television Without Pity, and then he was plucked from obscurity to write for the show itself. His life from that point on was as magical and fascinating as Tyra's weave — until he and his fellow writers asked the CW network for fancy, decadent "benefits" and "health insurance." Silly writer! After a two-month strike in order to gain union status, he and his fellow ANTM employees are unemployed.
We feel for Daniel, even though we have to admit that we haven't seen a precipitous drop in the quality of the show this, uh, 'cycle' (go CariDee)! Relatedly, a tipster writes that the WGA (Writer's Guild of America) has filed an unfair labor practice charge against Ken Mok, the show's producer. We're torn: we want justice for Daniel, of course, but we don't want anything to happen that would jeopardize our ritualistic Wednesday 'model'-mockery. We'll keep you posted . . . because, undoubtedly, you SO care.

If what we're hearing is true, Not Chosen, the schmuck who has attempted to parlay his "I'm not Jewish, but my Jewish magazine bosses think I am" act into a blog persona and even a t-shirt sideline, has some 'splainin to do.

Since July, we've been intermittently following the occasionally funny-ish but more often just weird adventures of Not Chosen Just Posin', a Catholic guy who "didn't mean to take a job with a Jewish magazine." He blogs about his wacky hijinx like not knowing who Queen Esther is and not knowing what a 'bris' is. Har har. Anyway, we know that today is supposedly all about a real Jew pretending to be a raging anti-Semite, but we kind of prefer to focus on Not Chosen, who seems to us to be a fake Jew doing a bad job of disguising the fact that he might sort of be a little tiny bit of a real anti-Semite. Seriously, dude, you're not Jewish, and no matter how many times you profess your admiration for Jewish culture and Jewish chicks, it doesn't actually make it funny to post a picture of an Orthodox rabbi davening on your Blogger profile.
Well, if NC is as good at being an editor as he seems to think he is, we're sure he'll be able to keep his job if word of his identity gets out. Remember, he works at a Jewish magazine with lots of celebrity coverage. Send us your guesses!

There's something so adorable about the Intel Blogger Challenge. For Intel, the "challenge" seems to be figuring out what they gave six bloggers free laptops for, exactly. For the bloggers — among them, Jen Chung from "The Gothamist," whose Duo Centrino presumably came with panda wallpaper preinstalled — the challenge is writing pithy little essays about "why I blog" (oh god) and smiling semisincerely in their glamorshots. But awesome as all of that sounds, there's an even more special extra layer of wonder and joy that Intel has yet to reveal: there's actually a seventh blogger participating in the "challenge," a "mystery blogger" who, according to Rohit Bhargava's Influential Internet Marketing blog, is "a person who many have considered to have defined the genre of blogging itself and continues to innovate and remain an inspiration to many other bloggers." OMG who IS IT?? We're scanning the room, and frankly, all of the laptops look kinda dinged up. We'll just have to wait until November 15 at noon EST, but frankly, we're not sure we can hold our breath that long.

• Blogger Michael Arrington holds his New York City TechCrunch party at BED, the bar/restaurant furnished with beds instead of couches, once featured on Sex in the City. One Yelp reviewer says, "It's a definite must for the bridge-and-tunnel crowd." Expect plenty of confusion as the selective bouncers reject Arrington's more unfashionable guests. [TechCrunch]

Remember when we could go to mtvU Woodie Awards, chill and just enjoy some good indie rock? Those were the days. Too bad Jared Leto came and ruined everything. First, Jordan Catalano picked a fight with Elijah Wood, and then he moved on to his next target: music blogger Scott Stereogum.

Live, from PopTech — well, not quite. A few days ago, organizers from PopTech 2006, the multimedia futurist conference that started last night, told press-pass-carrying journalists:

• "Sorry I haven't posted on my blog..." [the f blog via Boing Boing]

• Business 2.0 Magazine tells entrepreneurs to "sign up customers, then deliver." Which here means "Fake it, then take it" — their poster boy for this idea launches blogs full of rehashed info (okay, we all do that), then takes inquiring readers and refers them to real pros or gets a quick and dirty certification in the area of fake expertise. Sure, it's legal, until the malpractice lawsuits begin. [Business 2.0]

• Man, this is not the New York Times's best weekend. Their latest gaffe: calling Peter Hirshberg, chairman of blog search company Technorati, the CEO. Poor tech blogger Om Malik was afraid CEO Dave Sifry had been ousted. But Sifry replied on Om's blog that he's still in charge. He tells me the mix-up was probably an innocent mistake by the Times; no one interviewed Sifry for the article. [GigaOM]