You know, it's only been a week since his vow to destroy Frank Bruni, but restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow has already proven that he can blog like the pros.

NICK DOUGLAS — Take a deep breath and exhale with me: Ommmmmm! Our editor Chris mapped out the path to blog nirvana earlier this month. Now I'm proud to present a heatmap locating popular blogs (and a few major web sites) among the four spheres of audience reaction: Affirmation, indignation, titillation, and stimulation. Spot Gawker, TechCrunch, Dooce, Michelle Malkin, Ze Frank, Engadget, and more!

In the fine tradition of Valleywag Hotties, we're ecstatic to present the Vlog Hot poll. Which video blogger sets your loins aflame? Or since this may be a matter of degree, which sets your loins the aflamiest? Certainly we'll have to involve the Zes and Amandas and Douglasses, but this is the nomination phase. Send in any many names of you want, with links to their video blogs (home sites, Youtube, whatever). Feel free to self-nominate. Once we have enough nominees, they'll be organized into elimination heats for reader vote. The winners (one in each gender) will receive glamorous photoshoot or an acrylic statuette of herself/himself. Submit your Vlog Hot nominations to tips@valleywag.com.

Saturday and Sunday are supposed to be the two days of the week when we're free to be ourselves. No work means the days are wide open—the tie goes on the rack, the first meal of the day comes with alcohol. We yawn happily, like baby birds in anticipation of that sweet, healing leisure we read about in the paper. This is not what really happens.

So you're probably already glutted on bloggy inside baseball today, but we wanted to bring you this news anyway because it's relevant to anyone who cares about intertnet celebrity gossip: Molly Goodson, of the Hauslaib-owned MollyGood blog, is departing her almosteponymous site for Lisa Sugar's almosteponymous site, PopSugar. We're fans of Molly's writing and her nose for the news. We also sort of feel bad that her dog didn't do better in the blog pets poll. So we wish her the best in her new gig, and we worry about how the Jossip (cough) empire will carry on without her. Seriously, first Corynne Steindler and now this!!

So you've finally made it in the big time world of New York City blogging, and all the fame and fortune that are accorded to that profession's most celebrated members is starting to come your way: nubile young groupies, book deals, invitations to all the hippest parties, crazy e-mails from Andrew Krucoff threatening to ruin you, etc. But the sweetest plum of all is the clamor of big media as it seeks to harness your unfettered energy. That's right, you've been invited to the main event,

Canadian National Post reporter Martin Patrinquin Patriquin has some disappointing news for us all: perhaps in response to his countryman Hal Niedzviecki's bloggers-are-mean cri de coeur, he's decided that he's not going to participate in this pesky blogging trend.

I'd like to ask one thing from the blogger at large. When tossing out those five-times-daily updates, please pause to consider both your reputation and the fragile ego of the artist. Blogs are not private diaries. There's always the possibility that someone might actually take what you have to say to heart. There's always the chance that what you write might cause someone to decide not to read a particular book, hire a particular individual or invite someone to their party. A blog is an inconsequential space with consequences. All I ask is that bloggers occasionally stop and remind themselves that the person they're writing about is not only real, but perfectly capable of typing his name into a search engine. Remember bloggers: We're out there. And if we know what's good for us, we're paying attention.

We shared our resolutions with you this morning, and so far, we've stuck to them. Well, except for the one about no more meaningless bullet-pointed lists; we're breaking that one, um, right now. A lot of other bloggers and notable figures of various stripes have also made their 2007 goals public; here, we share our favorites, along with some other resolution-related ephemera.

Galleycat sniffed out a fun diatribe by Dallas Morning News books editor Jerome Weeks that starts on the hot topic of publishing-themed revenge -lit (sparked by the recent LA Times article about Blind Submission, which "isn't" about literary agent Sandy Dijkstra, and Because She Can, which "isn't" about Judith Regan) and quickly digresses into a discussion of assistant culture and the "female boot camp" of book publicity.

remember the seventies

LOCKHART STEELE — Rounding out an admittedly East Coast-centric day on Valleywag, we emailed a group of NYC internerds and asked them to tell us about the more obscure blogs they're most enjoying these days. (Yes, we're ripping off finding inspiration from Fimoculous blogger Rex Sorgatz's Best Blogs of 2006 You're Not Reading post from a few weeks back.) Feast on the flotsam, after the jump.

Overpaid free-newspaper sex columnist Julia Allison's hot, gaping opening has been filled, yo. That's right: her search for a new assistant has netted one "Sara," who has a freshly-minted pink blogspot blog entitled Gentlemen Prefer (New York) Blondes. She says she's "pretty sure" that her life is "one long docudrama-comedy-chick flick that hasn't made it to the box office quite yet." We're pretty sure that we love her, because honestly, we love anything that makes our job easier.

being Rosie's assistant isn't
for the faint of heart
it's not
an easy job but what is an
easy job 2 u?
working in a factory?
fighting for US?

After the jump, you have a once in a lifetime chance to decide which of the semi-arbitrarily selected bloggers' companion animals you find the most cuddle-worthy. We hope that MollyGood, Cityrag, Fourfour, Ultragrrrl, Copyranter, and Information Leafblower are totally proud cat and dog mommies and daddies right now. Vote early and often!

Earlier: Best In Show: Blog Pets Face Off. Meow!

"Omg, totes out of stuff to write about at myspecialopinion.blogspot.com today. Oh, hey, look, Fluffy is doing that thing where he puts his paw over his eyes. Awww! [Digital camera snap noise]" Sound familiar? It does to the bloggers listed after the jump, who are famous ("famous") for posting about their pets. At the risk of sounding like a total girl, we guess they're like adorable or whatever. But as you know, everything is a competition. So: these three fuzzy fluffballs of Kute will face off in a poll later on, once they've inspired some other bloggers to put their own animal companions' honor on the line. To be considered, though, the pet in question has to have been the subject of a lot of blog posts. And while costumes are obviously a plus, entrants who have a blog that's just about their pet will not be considered because of sheer patheticness. Also, please remember that we are just talking about the pets here and not the blogs. You can save your mean comments about which of the bloggers below you hate most when we're singling them out for, like, "whose mom has the worst cancer."

Blogger Gabe at Roth Brothers brought up a searingly important point, something that's been troubling us for a while: why does the placement of items on New York Magazine's Approval Matrix sometimes seem arbitrary, high/lowbrowness axiswise? Could it be that graphic design is trumping fairness when, say,

We loooove it when big corporations, major nonprofits, and government agencies have blogs. They always so totally nail the personal, intimate voice that makes blogs so readable and addictive, except not. Ever. Witness: 'The Quitter,' an American Cancer Society-sponsored blog about a dude who is about as good at acting as lonelygirl15, and his attempt to quit smoking. Witness his heartfelt testimonials and his just-a-regular-guy locutions!

If you care at all about the outcome of America's Next Top Model, please, for the love of CariDee and all that is holy, STOP READING NOW.
Seriously. STOP! We mean it.