Our special Learning Annex correspondent Eric Deamer spent an endless evening with fashion/rap/vodka/watch/magazine mini-mogul Damon Dash last night.

Yesterday, Britney Spears ate a small puppy on the streets of West Hollywood or something. We're not really clear what happened, nor are we really sure that we care. However, since we care about you, here's the most accurate info we could find about Britzilla tromping her way over stalkerazzi.
Did Britney's mom Pull a Lizzie Grubman? [Defamer]
Paramedics comfort distraught Britney [Sun]

We hope that, if you trudged out to Coney Island this weekend for the allegedly last Phish show, that you went for the right reasons: easy women and great pot. Dori, from Saran Warp, evidently got so stoned that A) she missed Jay-Z sitting in with the band, and, B) she can barely type:

Did someone on "fading pop footnote" Justin Timberlake's PR team refuse to go down on Page Six's Richard Johnson? What gives?
Muscle Heads [NYP]

We really thought Franz Ferdinand was over — however, sometimes we set our clocks a little fast over here, it's true. We're impatient! We KNOW a band is going to get really popular for five minutes and then everyone will turn up their noses and pretend they never liked them. (Anyway, it looked pretty over on Tuesday when I walked into the Union Square Virgin store and people were watching their in-store appearance as if a perhaps exciting but also rather ugly albino cockroach had suddenly crawled onto their dinner plates.) Still: inside, two views from the show.

A former Madonna wannabe gives the report from last night's New York kick-off:

Just now, Lil' Britney Spears, our wounded little birdie, fled from her nest, much to the delight of the stalkerazzi:

Former Lemonhead Evan Dando had a very Loveish (Lovesque? Lovelike? Loverly?) night on stage downtown last night. Our Nightlife Turns Violent Correspondent writes:

Johnny Ramone, guitarist of — strangely enough — The Ramones, is rumored to be in the hospital. Nothing like confirmation yet, but we wouldn't be surprised — not a very hardy bunch, those Ramones. Both Joey and DeeDee Ramone, heroes of the Lower East Side, died in the last couple years. I guess all those years of clean living really take their toll.
Johnny Ramone Hospitalized? [Coolfer]

Madonna's flacks have been denying for weeks that tickets to Her Madgeosity's "Older Women Do It Better" Tour 2004 have been going for less than face value — but what's up with the reduced-price tickets email we just got? See inside.

Wow! Tonight's the most important night in the music and movie industries — maybe even the most important night in contemporary cultural history! Like, ever! Last week, MTV crammed a bunch of celebrities into giant soundstages and, after days of frantic editing, assembled a quickly-cut, fame-besotted montage of the goings-on. How could it fail to entertain us?
Karen O. photo courtesy: MTV Movie Awards Pics 2004 [Arjan]
Off camera wrapup: MTV Movie Awards [Arjan]
Also: MTV Movie Awards: No Awards For Fashion Here [The Daily]

We heard about the surprise P.J. Harvey show last week — because people emailed to tell us it was already sold out. So rude, people, seriously. Anyway: the reports from last night's show are "so fucking awesome" and "she was wearing hot pink pumps!" Glad to hear P.J. is retaining her gay constituency.

The FCC, deep into their Operation: Destroy Everything Good and Fun campaign, is evidently enjoying great success in making America a Puritan nightmare. Yesterday, says Open All Night, MTV booted emaciated pop-tart Avril Lavigne from the studios after she used — get this — the "F-word." Please protect us from the tiny tonedeaf semi-vegan who says "fuck"! Mommy! My ears are bleeding!
Avril Lavigne Promotes New CD [OAN]
Avril Sours [NYO (2nd item)]

The New Yorker's wildman music critic Sasha Frere-Jones has called out New York Times op-ed music-lover Nick Hornby. Looks like he's going to kick Hornby's ass after school, by the bike racks:

I don't think I'll get a Gawker Stalker report out tonight (huge roundup due soon) but I offer a fantastic Courtney Love story that just came across the wire instead. Reader beware, she's roaming around Soho now and snorting coke off the heads of babies...I'm just kidding!! Hey I can use that line too, Courtney.

Breaking: The homeless Courtney Love is shacking up with Neal Pollack!! Just imagine what it must be like in the morning with those two: fake Cockney accents, waking up with boots full of blood, and picking feces from each other's hair which is actually a preferable stench to the dead cat they buggered after microwaving it. What? Ohhhh, she's staying with Neil Strauss the other pop critic. That makes all the difference in the world. They just sit around and quote Boogie Nights: "Do you have coke at this party?" "Well I'm sure we can find you some."

We tried our best to avoid mentioning that fruity-tooty celebrity baby but Daddytypes.com points us to Coldplay's kind of funny video from "The Nappies" which celebrates the birth of Chris Martin and Gwyneth somebody's new baby, Pineapple Huxtable. Sample lyrics:

Courtney Love is back in New York to deal with her assault charges, and some say she's not looking her freshest. Whatevs describes the sight this way:

I thought if I just ignored this, it'd go away, but judging by the week's email, that is not the case. So, yes, if Britney Spears posed nude for Playboy, you'd know about it. Also? Trust in Fleshbot to keep you abreast of all fake celebrity nudes.
Britney Does Playboy? [Fleshbot]

Since this weekend saw Long Island hero Billy Joel's third car crash in two years, Lasagna Farm thought it might be time to revisit Mr. Joel's back catalogue: