I don't think I'll get a Gawker Stalker report out tonight (huge roundup due soon) but I offer a fantastic Courtney Love story that just came across the wire instead. Reader beware, she's roaming around Soho now and snorting coke off the heads of babies...I'm just kidding!! Hey I can use that line too, Courtney.

Wanted to spread this tip along from my friend Susan in NYC who was eating lunch at the still-trendy Balthazar. Courtney Love was there and, apparently, up to her old antics.

She stumbled in and made her way downstairs to the bathroom. Susan, wanting to make contact with her, said Courtney, you look great! Courtney turned around and made the off-hand remark Yeah, that s what crack will do for ya! Then, pointing at Susan s husband Bill, she yelled I m just kidding.

Ten minutes later, Courtney has still not emerged from the ladies and Susan goes down to see what s up. Courtney is lounging in the powder room area and yakking on her cell to a friend. The rant concerned the fact that everyone is stealing from her, that the price of her concert tickets is gonna be $300.00, that she s registered as a Republican in California now but isn t going to vote cuz they re all assholes.

By now, a serious line is forming outside the bathroom as people are waiting to get a glimpse of Ms. Love. Susan, back at her table eating dessert, tells Bill to keep an eye out for when she emerges. Maybe ten minutes later, Courtney stumbles out of the bathroom, walking very quickly as if she s losing her balance, then stumbles headlong into a woman in line.

After paying their tab, Susan and Bill are walking around SoHo and see .Courtney, being sketched on the sidewalk by a homeless man. As Susan approaches, this time seeking an autograph, she hears Love critiquing the sketch. Susan says I know this is really annoying, but can I get your autograph?

Courtney replies Yeah, just the autograph is fine, but if you d asked for anything else, that would be annoying. Seizing Susan s special pen (brown LePens from twenty years ago), Courtney tries to sign with the cap still on. Looking closer at the pen, she starts screaming I love these pens!! Can I have this?? Susan says sure and when she looks at the autograph, it contains two brown hearts with Susan and Courtney in the part where the hearts intersect.

Just another day in the life of Courtney, I guess.