State Farm ran this painfully ordinary ad recently showing a happy Asian couple holding a baby, posed in front of their typical suburban home, voicing thoughts about saving money on insurance. Perfectly tedious. But Multicult Classics finds another version of the ad—same house, same car, same happy family pose—featuring a different (Filipino?) couple. They're also thinking about insurance! People have always said that all Asians look alike, but really; not even a different stroller? Below, both of the ads:

I don't claim to be an expert on hair, or sexiness, but I'd be willing to wager that far fewer people have heard of "Sexy Hair Concepts LLC" than have heard of Victoria's Secret. Nevertheless, Sexy Hair Concepts somehow managed to persuade a Trademark Board that "consumers were likely to confuse the lingerie giant's 'So Sexy' trademark for haircare items with Sexy Hair Concepts' various trademarks using the word 'sexy' for its coiffure line." Consumers will be wandering around in a sheer sexiness daze! Victoria's Secret's response to the ruling: you trademark people must be crazy:

An Ecuadorian business called Xiomara Coronado Beauty Center is running this ad campaign, with a tagline that (according to Copyranter) translates to "Nobody will look younger than you." I guess the message here is, if you don't want to look like a sun-scarred celebutante, Xiomara Coronado Beauty Center is a place that you should consider patronizing. Or maybe they just like to show off their photo retouching skills. Either way: funny, yucky. Ecuador must have some very loose laws about fair use of celebrity images. After the jump, an equally horrible transmogrified version of Angelina Jolie:

Here's the recipe for Mcdonald's new Southern Chicken Sandwich: "a breaded chicken breast garnished with two pickles." Why hasn't anyone thought of this breakthrough item before? They have! This same sandwich has been Chik-fil-A's signature for years. But McD's is all like, "Uh, what? We totally don't know what you're talking about." Whatever, sandwich thieves!

So, remember how fashionista Marc Jacobs promised to design an ostrich handbag for Bryanboy, a twinky, blogging, Filipino version of Paris Hilton? It's done! Bryanboy surfaced pictures of "the BB" on his blog this morning after receiving photos from an email tipster. (It's up there at left, while Bryanboy is spanking himself with a whip on the right.) With as much dignity as he can muster, Bryanboy also dropped a lot of hints he'd like to, somehow, obtain one of these bags for free. Wait, what? This hasn't already been promised? Maybe if a certain uberdesigner wasn't so busy updating his Facebook and playing with boy toys and, OK, fair enough, being robbed, he could take care of his handbag muse and avert a PR disaster before it happens.

In a revolutionary move, some marketing guys have founded a firm called Agency 3.0. Some other agency already snapped up the web address for Agency 4.0. Such amazing times we live in.

The "A-frame" shot—between the legs, with something framed in the middle—is called the "most frequently copied trope ever used" in the design world. PRINT Magazine pulls together a great collection of novels, movie and theater posters, ads, comic books, magazines, and album covers that all use the device, in a cacophony of legs that quickly goes from edgy to uniform. The best from five different mediums, after the jump:

In an Ad Age blog column entitled "Guess What, America? There Is A Black Middle Class," marketing exec Moses Foster puts forth the message: There is a black middle class. So stop talking to us like we're all gangsters! When Foster and a friend went to an ad conference a couple weeks ago, they had a conversation that went like this: "I expect that you two like white women." Why? "Because you talk white. You're so articulate." That's so racist! Everyone knows that white people aren't articulate. The funniest part of the story, though, is the comment section, which is split between minorities relating their own stories of discrimination, and sympathetic white people scrambling to fulfill every I-have-a-black-friend stereotype there is:

Taco Bell's Value Menu slogan is "Why Pay More?" But if a rapper were to say it, they would say, "Why Pay Mo'?" Because black people can't talk right, ha! Cannily tapping into urban culture, the fast food chain is running a "Why Pay Mo'?"online promotion, complete with a Rap Name Generator (mine is Super Fly H. Nach!). Taco Bell's beef tastes like dog food, and their ad agency is making them look like a bunch of tone-deaf racists. But I can almost forgive them for all that, because their site's "Why Pay Mo' Rhyme Generator" allowed me to create a hip hop supergroup featuring evil columnist Andrea Peyser, Spitzer hooker Ashley Alexandra Dupre, drunk Post editor Col Allan, and author of the year Keith Gessen, all kicking rhymes about the fat value menu. Action photos below!:

To help promote the 50th anniversary of Disneyland, Disney launched a free "Virtual Magic Kingdom" website, where fans could make little avatars and walk around the virtual theme park doing little virtual activities. The VMK was originally scheduled to run for 18 months. But now, three years after it launched, the site is still going. Why? Because creepy Disney-obsessed adults who scare everyone have staked their claim to the site, and they're not about to let the company shut down this free temporary children's amusement. Their very identities depend upon it! The company says it makes no money on the site, and it needs to shutter it and move on. The fans say: we are creepy obsessed adults, and we are picketing your theme parks. As well as making slick protest websites, which showcase their virtual "Save VMK" protest videos. Like this one, in which a virtual boy in a feathered head dress persuades the multibillion-dollar corporation to listen to reason:

What do you mean by misled?

What does it take to get a job in this tough economy? A crazy website demonstrating that you are an insane person! Back in March we reported on Josh Millrod, a maniacal young man with a Bachelor of Music in Trumpet Performance and Certificate in Journalism from Indiana University who built a seizure-inducing site full of consciously exaggerated braggadocio about his entry-level marketing skills. And it worked! Josh writes in today to report that he has in fact landed a job in marketing, and we wish him the best of luck. This tactic also worked for ad copywriter Yutaka Tsujino, whose website proclaiming how much he sucks got him a prime job earlier this month. Professionalism was always overrated. [Earlier]

You've surely seen a copy of it on the walls of your local Sunday school, A.A. meeting, or weed-filled hipster apartment, ironically: Footprints in the Sand, the mawkish little poem/ parable about Jesus carrying you when you couldn't carry yourself. The work has become a gold mine of merchandising opportunities, which is what everyone, including Jesus, really cares about (sandals aren't free). So naturally three different people have been squabbling for years over who wrote it. Now, the son of one proclaimed author is taking the other claimants to court for copyright infringement. Sigh. It would really be tidier if Jesus could just settle this himself. After the jump, the three slightly different versions of the poem that claim to be the original. One thing we can all agree on is that god needs to pick more creative messengers:

A Brazilian newspaper is running a series of ads with the slogan "Understand the real value of money." So what's the real value of a dollar? Apparently it's terrorism, pollution, the Challenger disaster, war, and tornadoes. Oh, and weed. They didn't forget the weed. I won't pretend to be able to identify the underlying philosophy here, but I will point out that even dumb people have figured out that using 9/11 in ads is a bad idea. The takeaway: Give all your dollars to me. Below, the full ad from the Brasilmofascist menace:

Middling Queens neighborhood Jackson Heights (whoa now, Queens residents) is taking on fancy Brooklyn writer's enclave Park Slope in some provocative ads! "More Park Less Slope" they say, mystifyingly. "Queens Is The New Brooklyn." They also made themselves a neat little "JH" logo shaped as a man resembling Mr. Peanut. Break out the checkbooks, home buyers! Jackson Heights is preferable to Park Slope, based on arrogance levels alone. But the established lowest-to-highest rankings of NYC boroughs (Staten Island- Bronx- Queens- Brooklyn- Manhattan- Philadelphia) will never change. Bigger picture of the aspirational ad, after the jump.

TV networks continue to come up with new and better ways to morph their shows into continuous advertisements. MTV is already selling ads that are designed to be mini-shows in themselves, and ABC has gone subliminal. Not to be outdone, Turner Entertainment is now telling advertisers that it can strategically insert their ads into commercial breaks directly following part of a broadcast that relates to their product. I'm not sure how this is supposed to make us more disposed to buy crap, but it will certainly make watching movie reruns that much more annoying:

Ethiopia doesn't have the world's most sterling reputation. Many people think of "famine" and "drought" when the country's name is mentioned. But the Ethiopians are lucky, in the sense that Starbucks has forged a connection between the parched and war-torn nation in northern Africa and yuppie coffee swillers across America who just adore the subtle fruity undertones of the Ethiopian Yirgacheffe blend. So the country went to a branding firm to come up with a logo to stick on all of its coffee, to make people think of it as more of a luxury item. The logo is pictured. It looks like it should be in lime green on the side of can of a new and exotic type of energy drink. Instead, it's on the oldest energy drink ever. The kind that comes from Ethiopia (and is not qat)! We wish the country well in its yuppie-swindling mission, but we would have gone with a logo that's a little more cutting edge, with both hipster appeal and a strong connection to Ethiopian history. Like this:

Gold Bond is more than just a powder that old, decrepit men put on their feet; it's a powder that young, virile men can put on their balls, for fun. The medicated powder, and its cream brethren, produces a pleasing sensation in the male nether regions, according to Gawker videographer and ball-experimenter Richard Blakeley. But this off-brand use isn't just some underground deviant fantasy; Gold Bond has now picked up on it for its own advertising. The company has a site called PowderMyEquipment.com with several videos of guys powdering their... EQUIPMENT ("air quotes"). We would take this as winking corporate encouragement of self-pleasure, if we didn't know better. Click to watch an ad from the site, with a guy taking care of his EQUIPMENT, if you know what we mean.

BrandTags.net is a website with a deceptively simple idea: it shows you a brand's logo, and you enter the first word that comes to mind. Then it combines all the thousands of responses into a tag cloud, showing the overall consumer perception of each brand. Smart! So what great truths do these responses show, besides the fact that many people associate Adidas with "shoes?" They show that your brand is crap, stupid, and sucks! Corporate image gurus, take note:

Viral marketing: an ostentatious and mysterious way to grab buzz, but ultimately futile when it comes to measurable results that benefit you in the real world. Which makes it exactly the same as luxury clothing. Which may be why luxury brands from Cartier to Prada are now trying to make cute little viral YouTube videos, just like every other company in the world. Do rich, exclusive consumers, who are the prime targets of these brands, really spend their time clicking on YouTube links of amusing commercials? We think not. Which makes this entire trend a mystifying waste of time and resources, just like luxury clothing. Full circle and all that. After the jump, a Sergio Rossi viral video of shoes from different social classes making sweet, sweet love. Luxuriously!