Wonder how she feels about that "allergic to vagina" thing. Brangelina kiss in public, LiLo wants to move to England, Dakota Fanning turns sweet 16, Mickey Rourke admires Megan Fox's luscious acting talent. Come bask in Wednesday gossip's reflected glory.

A little tour through the trademark office shows that be-costumed avant-pop pan-flash of the moment Lady Gaga is making it official. She's made a legal brand of her moniker and may slap it on a whole host of products.

Papa Lohan's acting out coincided with LiLo's "rock bottom." The search for Andrew Koenig continues. Russell Brand leaves Katy Perry "bedridden" for days. Lady Gaga wants to make babies with her stylist. Tuesday gossip is in need of a father figure.

We have long been on the hunt for a glimpse of pop culture's Loch Ness monster: Lady Gaga's penis. Last night, she tried to display her vagina again to throw us off the scent. Good try, Gaga. Almost!

{Lady Gaga leaves the Brit Awards in London last night; image via INF]

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

...has produced the best wire report maybe ever. Johnny Weir has to stay in the Olympic Village with all the funky Eastern Europeans and people who don't speak awesome because he is being threatened by fur activists...for being fierce.

• NBC's coverage of the Winter games began on somber note today. [LAT]
• Vogue's on a roll! Not only was Tina Fey's scar airbrushed off the cover of the March issue, the mag screwed up the letter sent out to promote it, too.
• Harold Ford has taken a leave of absence as a political analyst for NBC while he decides whether to try and carpetbag his way to a Senate seat. [NYO]
• Ellen DeGeneres is the new Oprah Winfrey, apparently. [NYT]
• Project Runway contestants showed their work at Fashion Week today. [AP]
• Madonna will make a rare TV appearance as a "marriage referee" on Jerry Seinfeld's forthcoming reality show. Here's hoping she won't be asked to dispense advice on how to keep a marriage together. [Reuters]
• On the off chance you're interested in taking part in a reality TV show, you may wish to note that there's now a job board for that very purpose. [Wrap]
• Is 82-year-old Condé Nast boss Si Newhouse a Lady Gaga fan? Indeed! [P6]

Gaga's dress gets messy in the snow, Jersey Shore's Vinny forgoes a surreal appearance at Yale. John Mayer apologizes for using the n-word. Amanda Bynes doesn't see why craving "chocolate" men is wrong. Thursday's gossip is white all over.

Marc Jacobs, the prancing prince of fashion week, is spouting off about how his show is "not going to have celebrities," because they're "boring." Sorry, Marc, but that is bullshit. You are too reliant on stars to quit them now.

• Marc Jacobs says he's totally over having celebrities at his fashion shows because it's boring, and the only reason Lady Gaga and Madonna turned up to his show last year was because Gaga was performing at the after-party and Madonna, well, she just showed up. "She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited." Somewhere, Madonna is burning all of her Marc Jacobs clothing. [P6]
• Rumors have been swirling recently that Ben Affleck fell off the wagon recently and is now drinking again. (He checked himself into rehab back in 2001.) On Monday, a bearded Affleck was spotted "cruising aimlessly" at the Chateau Marmont and "looking worse for wear." Uh oh. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, has scored herself a job. A day after sitting down with Extra's Mario Lopez for an interview and now the show has hired her as its new nightlife correspondent. Just like hooker-turned-sex columnist Ashley Dupre, Uchitel is proving that you can make a big bunch of terrible decisions in life and come out ahead in the end, provided you have no shame and a burning desire to be famous. [P6]

Beloved hermaphrodite and pop art whosiwhatsit Lady Gaga finally gets the perfect tribute from artist Craig Gleason [NSFW] who is making dollar bills in her likeness. Yes, the medium is definitely the message, even if may be kind of illegal.

• Lots of celebs turned out for the Super Bowl in Miami. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were there (and were spotted "kissing, hugging and laughing," so if you were worried that they'd broken up, you can rest easy). Also on hand was Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher (who were chased by photographers), Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, and John Travolta, who couldn't even be bothered to stay for the entire game. [DM, The Sun, Popeater]

• Is the cast of Jersey Shore getting a little overexposed? Just a little! MTV is now looking to clamp down on their efforts to "pimp themselves" at bars and colleges around the country and has informed them that they're each limited to two appearances a week and need permission from the network before accepting any gigs. [P6, NYDN]

• In other Jersey Shore news, Jenni "JWoww" Farley is planning to "enhance" her ginormous fake boobs "as soon as possible to be ready for the new season," you'll be pleased to hear. [P6]

Animal New York says this photo of Lady Gaga from the Grammys definitely proves she does not have man parts. As Gawker's resident vagina expert, I know this is a real vagina. The problem is, it's not the real Gaga.

It may, however, be a euphemism for "cosmetic procedures too dangerous to be legal in the States." Mackenzie Phillips backtracks on part of her incest claim. Lady Gaga gets a tattoo for her fans. Thursday's gossip will leave a mark.

Once a day we like to take a second to point out comments that we found especially funny, interesting, or (maybe someday) uplifting. Today we get some musings on Parade magazine and Lady Gaga.

The idiotic "trend-tracking firm" that announced this past fall that New York had lost the title of "fashion capital of the world" has returned with another silly list. Global Language Monitor, which is based in fashionable Austin, Texas, says its "proprietary algorithm" has identified the "top 15 fashion buzzwords" of 2010, a list that begins with "Lady GaGa" [sic] and is followed by "leggings 2.0":

Slight late pass, but here's an educational lesson for all you aspiring flacks: How do you connect your craptastic client to a huge star? Just lie about it! That's the 5WPR way.

• There's a good chance you'll be seeing the cast of Jersey Shore in the tents at Fashion Week. (If, that is, you happen to be going to Fashion Week.) MTV's newest crop of reality stars have been asking to tickets to shows, and a few designers have extended invites to "to attend or even model." [P6]
• If you wanted to go to business school but didn't do so well on the GMATs, Diddy is here to help. He says he plans to open a business school in New York City in the near future. [Starpulse, Us]
• Michael Jackson's "personal physician," Dr. Conrad Murray, is expected to surrender to the authorities today in connection with charges he played a role in Jackson's death. He'll likely be charged with involuntary manslaughter, which could land him four years in jail. [TMZ]
• Perpetual brat Kanye West threw a fit while flying back to New York from LA when he was told he and his assistant would have to sit in business class, not first. The temper tantrum paid off, though: The airline found room for him in the front of the plane and the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. [P6]

• The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore officially signed on for season two over the weekend. (Although MTV may now be forced to rename the show, since the cast could be spending next season in the Hamptons.) If you need something to tide you over until the summer, you could always go out and pick up Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's new cologne, which is appropriately named "The Sitch" and smells like a mix of self-tanner, Axe body spray, and some random girl's perfume. [Us, NYP, P6]
• So much for those rumors about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie splitting up. At the Director's Guild of America Awards in LA on Saturday night, the couple looked "as happy as can be," Pitt pulled a chair out for his wife (what a gentleman!), and he spent the evening gently caressing her back. [Us, People]
• Did you miss the Grammys last night? Lady Gaga wore a dress that looked like a fifth-grade solar system science project before descending into a fire pit and then playing piano opposite a crystal-encrusted Elton John; Pink did a Cirque de Soleil-esque performance in a nude bodysuit, twirling on a trapeze and singing upside down; Beyonce won a record-breaking six Grammys; Taylor Swift walked away with four, including album of the year; and the crowd was treated to a 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson as well as brief speeches by two of his kids, Prince and Paris. Click through for the list of winners and the fashion highlights/lowlights. [People, NYP, NYDN, MTV, People]