It may, however, be a euphemism for "cosmetic procedures too dangerous to be legal in the States." Mackenzie Phillips backtracks on part of her incest claim. Lady Gaga gets a tattoo for her fans. Thursday's gossip will leave a mark.

  • Kabbalah water is so yesterday. Madonna now cryogenically freezes her face with Brazilian "youth water," which Celebitchy informs us is a coconut-flavored water Madge uses to "detoxify and cleanse." She has invested $1.5 million in manufacturer Vita Coco, which she intends to import and hawk to fellow celebrities. [Celebitchy] [Fox411]
  • All that youth juice is how she kept up with A-Rod two weeks ago, when they had a "secret rendezvous" in New York. He's got hos in different area codes, including a "pretty brunette in New York," a "blonde model in Miami," and a "curvy blonde" he took to the Bahamas. [P6]
  • Every now and then, an excruciatingly slow investigation reminds you how ridiculous procedural justice TV shows' paces are. The L.A. County Coroner is revisiting Brittany Murphy's home, because they still haven't figured out whether drugs played a role in her death. TMZ says the hold-up is because a Murphy employee told the Coroner about the delivery of "a sealed manila envelope to the house every Friday filled with prescription medications" for "Lola." Brittany's husband and mother were reinterviewed—is this why Simon Monjack "postponed" Brittany's public memorial? [TMZ]
  • Lady Gaga got a new tattoo and announced on Twitter: "look what i did last night. little monsters forever, on the arm that holds my mic. xx." [fig.1] "Little Monsters" are what she calls her fans. [TwitPic]
  • Wayne Newton abandoned his private jet at a Michigan airport. This is the most decadent act of carelessness I have heard of. [TMZ]
  • Mackenzie Phillips finally realized that her sexual relationship with her dad during her teen years was not consensual: "As I was writing [High on Arrival], I thought, this word, it kept sitting wrong with me. But I used it for lack of a better word. Since then, I've been schooled by thousands of incest survivors all across the world that there really is no such thing as consensual incest due to the inherent power a parent has over a child." Dr. Drew's guidance on Celebrity Rehab helped, too. [NYDN]
  • Beyonce launched a new perfume, Heat, with an ad featuring perspiration, the fondling of breasts, and the color red. [fig.2] [SocialiteLife]
  • Impoverished Twilight star Kellan Lutz finally got a paying gig, modeling undies for Calvin Klein. [fig.3] The campaign includes three other raging hunks of man: a True Blood star with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle abs, a boyish Spanish tennis player, and a brooding Japanese soccer star. [fig.4] They should start a boy band. [Celebitchy]

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