Using four iPhone apps, a girl performed a pretty impeccable 'Poker Face'. As technically impressive as this is for the first minute or so, prepare yourself to be bombarded with the cutest one minute and fifty-eight seconds of your life.

Lady Gaga and Sandra Bullock: What do these two attractive female celebrities have in common? They were both featured in the headlines of conservative opinion columns today! Let us investigate why Sandra Bullock and Lady Gaga were in the headlines.

With any popular music video comes a seemingly endless amount of web parodies, and Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone" is no different. But how do you separate the good ones from the junk? You let us do it for you!

Lady Gaga's newest fans? Judging by this video, it's a Hasidic Jewish wedding band, whose creative introduction of the bride and groom was made with a medley of three of Gaga's biggest hits. Mazel tov, indeed! The sure-to-make-you-smile video, inside.

Won't somebody save tragic ragamuffin Sunny James? Her father has three mistresses on the record, now. Lady Gaga contemplates dying on stage. Tiger Woods courted LeAnn Rimes. Brad Pitt talks about his beard. Thursday gossip has orphans and a widow.

Lady Gaga's former bassist wants his royalties. Sandra Bullock gets a divorce lawyer. Her husband's tattooed mistress loses a job for being a Nazi. Madonna leaves New York. Kate Gosselin can't dance. Tuesday's gossip is embarrassing itself in public.

His cousin is officially a Scientologist—but terrified of being associated with Tom. Lady Gaga's sister trains to take the stage. Bombshell McGee sells stripper videos. Phil Spector gets beat up in prison. Come and get your Sunday gossip.

Gaga sues the ex-boyfriend suing her—he didn't invent her, he took advantage of her. Kate Winslet moons for a dead ex. Tiger's sext ex has more where those came from. Saturday gossip is the one that got away.

Heather Cassils is the awesome-looking woman who plays Lady Gaga's prison girlfriend in the "Telephone" video. But she's also a well-known artist in her own right. And she loved making out with Gaga.

Record producer—and Gaga's ex!—Rob Fusari claims he came up with the brilliant name "Lady Gaga." Also: He co-wrote Gaga's best song (f'real!), "Paparazzi". Now he is suing the monster he created for $30 million.

Last Thursday evening, Lady Gaga and Beyoncé asked you to spend nearly ten minutes of your life watching a bloated, overproduced infomercial. And you obliged. But did you catch Gaga's kid sister, Natali?

CNN reported today that MTV has decided to ban the airing of the music video for Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone" on its network. The most shocking thing about this is that MTV still believes its decision matters. Video inside.

On her show tonight, Suze Orman entertained a request from a woman who wanted to buy $1,400 headphones. Orman then went on a sweet/hilarious/awesome tangent about her love for Lady Gaga—love that's not reciprocated, apparently. Video inside.

Stars on Ice denies it, but Johnny is so over them, anyway. He might even start a rival showcase, with Lady Gaga. It's cute how he thinks if he says her name enough, she'll pull a Tinkerbell and magically appear.

Lady Gaga's Telephone music video, which premieres tonight, shows the Lady of Gah tackling her penis rumor with burly prison lesbians who rip her clothes off and mutter, "I told you she didn't have a dick."

How do you make Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland even weirder, and infinitely more awesome in the process? You add Lady Gaga into the mix, obviously. Check out this awesome "trailer" for Gaga in Wonderland, and prepare to be amazed.

Aren't concerts inherently three-dimensional? Lady Gaga is in "talks about a 3-D concert and DVD in the near future," anyway. No newfangled techno-trend shall escape the infinite bastion of creativity that is the Lady of Gah. [MTV]

[Lady Googolplex in Ole Englande Towne; image via Splash]

A little girl wears black lipstick, a wig, and no pants to perform "Bad Romance" in a Brazilian talent show. She crawls across the floor and growls. The crowd cheers. A judge who resembles Santa Claus grins.

And she's going to take a picture with it! How do we know? She said it in a magazine, so it must be true. Finally our quest for pop culture's Loch Ness Monster is justified! Kinda.