• Marc Jacobs says he's totally over having celebrities at his fashion shows because it's boring, and the only reason Lady Gaga and Madonna turned up to his show last year was because Gaga was performing at the after-party and Madonna, well, she just showed up. "She came backstage, and I was like, 'What do you do with her now?' Because it's not like she was invited." Somewhere, Madonna is burning all of her Marc Jacobs clothing. [P6]
• Rumors have been swirling recently that Ben Affleck fell off the wagon recently and is now drinking again. (He checked himself into rehab back in 2001.) On Monday, a bearded Affleck was spotted "cruising aimlessly" at the Chateau Marmont and "looking worse for wear." Uh oh. [NYDN]
• Tiger Woods mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, has scored herself a job. A day after sitting down with Extra's Mario Lopez for an interview and now the show has hired her as its new nightlife correspondent. Just like hooker-turned-sex columnist Ashley Dupre, Uchitel is proving that you can make a big bunch of terrible decisions in life and come out ahead in the end, provided you have no shame and a burning desire to be famous. [P6]

• The first photo of Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's son, Benjamin, is out. (It appeared on the cover of a Brazilian magazine.) And yes, the genetically-blessed child appears poised for world domination. [HuffPo]
• What Vogue editrix Anna Wintour wants, she gets. She told model Maggie Rizer that she'd like to see her as a redhead, and now Rizer—a natural blond—is dying her hair red today due to the "enormous pressure." [P6]
• Perpetual good guy Adam Sandler was jonesing for a late-night cheesecake in Miami the other night, so he showed up at a restaurant as they were closing, ordered his dessert, helped clean up with staff, and made "everyone laugh with joke after joke." [Us]
• Michael Barrett, the guy who videotaped ESPN's Erin Andrews through a hole in a hotel room wall, had 16 other victims, it turns out. Prosecutors are hoping to convince a judge to sentence Barrett to 27 months in prison. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Lady Gaga and Britney Spears may collaborate on a project in the future, according to a report, and it's all because Gaga's dad approached Britney at a Grammy after-party. [The Sun]
• The death of Nancy Kerrigan's father, Daniel Kerrigan, will be treated as a homicide, according to investigators. (Daniel died after a struggle with his son, Mark, on January 24th.) The Kerrigan family isn't buying it, though. They say the coroner's report is "premature and inaccurate." [People, TMZ]
• Celine Dion appears on the cover of the new issue of People and is opening up about her "private heartbreak" and desperate desire to have a second child after four unsuccessful attempts at in-vitro fertilization. Why is she suddenly talking about this now? She's got a "concert film and family documentary" called Celine: Through the Eyes of the World coming out next week, naturally. [People]
• Anne Hathaway thinks she "has very large features on a very small head." Which is probably true. But isn't this whole self-deprecating act getting a bit stale by now? [Us]
• Dina and Michael Lohan had a closed-door meeting in family court yesterday over Dina's claim that her ex-husband hasn't paid child support in about a year. According to Michael's lawyer, he's "promised" to pay up, but "we've heard that before." Wait, whose side is this guy on, anyway? [NYDN]
• Greek shipping heir Harry Theodoracopulos is suing Donald Trump because he says he was unfairly booted from the Trump International Golf Course in West Palm Beach. According to Trump, Theodoracopulos was "very abusive" to caddies, members and representatives of the club. [P6]
• Is married Ewan McGregor hooking up with that French woman (Melanie Laurent) from Inglourious Basterds? They were photographed taking a late-night stroll and holding hands, so it's possible. [DM]
• The Real Housewives of Orange County's Simon Barney accused his wife, Tamra, of cheating on him. So now that they're getting divorced. But it seems Tamra has already moved on, since she's hooking up with his friend. [NYDN]
• The New York Daily News had ten minutes with Sports Illustrated cover girl Brooklyn Decker, so naturally the paper used the time to quiz her about her knowledge of Brooklyn, the borough. (She got three of five questions correct.) The most interesting revelation, though: It turns out she's named after a horse named Brook. So now we sort of feel bad for the girl. [NYDN]
• People got a much-coveted exclusive with Nicole Polizzi's new personal trainer boyfriend, Emilio Masella. A few important facts: They met on Facebook a year ago, but just started dating; Emilio has already met Snooki's parents; and he may appear on season two of the show. Oh, and TMZ has a bunch of his bodybuilding pics, which are pretty entertaining/terrifying, if you're interested. [People, TMZ]
• Lil' Wayne—who, as you probably know, likes to rock a blinged-out tooth grill—was given a one-month reprieve from having to go to jail so he can finish up major dental surgery "involving bone grafts." [NYP, TMZ]
• The preacher who officiated at Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren's wedding says the couple declined the marital counseling he offered them, which, in retrospect, is unfortunate. But he also had some advice for the couple: "Forgive each other," he said. Aha, yes! Elin can forgive him for his 14-plus "indiscretions" over the past few years; and Tiger can forgive her for beating him senseless with a golf club, and all will be back to normal in no time. [People]
• Brooke Hundley (aka ESPN analyst Steve Phillips' "pudgy paramour") took to Facebook and Twitter yesterday to rant about Phillips' appearance on the Today show after leaving sex addiction rehab. "The only thing [Steve has] ever been addicted to is feeding his own ego," she said. [NYP]
• David Arquette says he and Courteney Cox are considering adopting a kid since they've had a hard time getting pregnant. Just so you know. [NYDN]
• Want to see what Beyoncé looks like sans makeup, while greeting fans in her pajamas? It's your lucky day! [Us]
• Want to see pictures of two of the wealthiest women in entertainment—Beyoncé and Alicia Keys—filming a music video in one of the poorest parts of the world, a favela in Rio? You can do that, too, but it will probably make you feel icky. [DM]
• Phil Harris, one of the grizzled sea captains from Discovery's Deadliest Catch, has died. [LAT]