This week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book presents a problem: Sam Masters, at right, is but a wee lad, a high school junior at Browning. And yet? He deserves a firm smack for being a total Stroke-in-the-making. Masters is a David Bowie fan with a band called the Deadly Monks, he acts through the New York Film Academy and is drawn to Jude Law's role in Closer, his clothes are "funked" and tight, and his girlfriend Destine is everything he's ever wanted (because she, too, is a big Bowie fan). And even though he doesn't say so, you KNOW he spends his weekends skanking around Tompkins Square like he's the next LES Jewels. After the jump, Intern Alexis solicits insight from the Imaginary Socialite, Fiorella Valdesolo, and Alan Wilkis on where young Sam is headed in life.

• Chelsea's tony London Terrace towers bans "making out" in the residence's pool or health club facilities. Apparently, this also means no sex with homeless men in the locker room. Absurd: It's as if management doesn't even know what neighborhood they're in! [NYDN]6;
• If the devil isn't wearing Prada, she opts for Bill Blass. [WWD]
• Dangerous street gangs shoplift diabetes test strips! [NYT]
• Is the NYC Marathon just one big excuse to piss in public? [Daily Slope]
• Voice gossipette Michael Musto lays down the law: "I swear on my obsolete Uggs that dumb blonds are, like, officially over. It's just not cute anymore to watch people who, thanks to raging insecurity issues, insist on being both stick-thin (because they want to look "good") and camera-hoggingly self-humiliating." But that's not really fair, we think. To be humiliated requires a degree of self-awareness — which is simply not the case with these girls. [VV]
• Mapping Billy Bob Thorton's NYC hookup route. [HotelChatter]
• It's the Webby Awards list of the Top 10 most influential internerd moments; having nailed the number two spot, rest assured Drudge will spend most of his night engaging in celebratory masturbation. [AFP/Yahoo]

Great news from Kate Moss's Post-Rehab Comeback Tour: After the UK's Daily Mirror featured the supermodel playing Scarface on its cover, Moss continues to rebound from losing face and millions in contracts. Her path to recovery includes the cover of Vanity Fair and an upcoming feature in haughty V magazine.

It's time for our weekly installment of Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes and Ambrel (NEW!) so you don't have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday.

At Glamour magazine's Women of the Year awards, from left: Venus Williams, Petra Nemcova, and Zoe Saldana take moment of silence to reflect and remember the story of Tara Reid*.

Just in case you're so pathetic as to not be on top of these things, we'd like to quickly remind you that today is Vogue EIC Anna Wintour's 56th birthday. We're sure her minions are preparing an exquisitely awkward gathering in her office later this afternoon, complete with 56 candles shoved in a slab of undercooked filet. Time to celebrate!

This week's installment of New York mag's Look Book is particularly timely: They've found a ghost! Eek!

• Actor Leonardo DiCaprio and supermodel Giselle Bundchen have reportedly ended their relationship — for real this time, and perhaps because of a third party. If this is the case, let's hope Leo cleans himself up a bit before heading back into the singles scene. [Page Six]
• Oh, the horror: Laguna Beach bad girl Kristin Cavalleri is dating poptard Aaron Carter. [Gatecrasher (3rd item)]
• Ted Koppel prays for Good Morning America co-host Charlie Gibson to replace the late Peter Jennings at the ABC evening newsdesk; GMA first lady Diane Sawyer commissions Haitian housemaid to create Koppel voodoo dolls. [Lowdown]
• Notorious fagodrome the Roxy, accused of admitting underage patrons, meets the long arm of the law just in time to wreck their gay ol' Halloween party. And so the war on fun continues. [Page Six]
• PETA narrows its gaze on Prince Charles, who it intends to harass on his forthcoming visit to the states. Apparently the royal guards use real bearskin on their helmets, which has the animal-rights group's knickers in a bunch. [Scoop]

Yesterday, a well-meaning (but ultimately idiotic) fellow sent out a mass email plugging his friends' trunk show for Finn Jewelry. "I'm not gay or anything," he wrote, "but the work is really beautiful and worth checking out..." Perhaps these were not the wisest promotional words for the fellow to pull out of his ass, especially since the email went to several social butterflies and benefit stalkers.

Our wish has been granted: Kate Moss, the supermodel whose rail-blowing image graced the cover of the UK's Daily Mirror, has reportedly decided to move to the United States. Just released from an Arizona rehab clinic last week, Moss is looking for a new home in New York, naturally (might we suggest a property in the Tribeca River Lofts? We hear alien model-types like the joint).

Last week, the blogosphere mourned the passing of one of its most beloved sons, Tale of Two Cities. But dry your dorky eyes, children, because its most popular feature, Blue States Lose, has come to Gawker.

Try not to look directly at the crotch of Gaby Basora, who is not a piece of meat. Rather, this week's Look Book victim in New York magazine is a stylist and editor-at-large at Violet magazine, which apparently has something to do with someone related to Charles Mingus. A reformed Cacharel shopper with an affinity for genderless colors and camel-friendly jumpsuits, Basora allows her children to dress in hip-hop clothing while she gallavants around art openings wearing vintage swimsuits over tights and boots. But really, who doesn't?! After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up Josh Tager, Kerri Kolen, and Rhoda Rahaii for your weekly dose of sartorial sass.

Being typically clad in fuzzy slippers and pajamas, we're hesitant to impart any words of advice regarding one's personal style. But we are compelled, as decent human beings, to intervene on AMI Editorial Director Bonnie Fuller.

• At the last minute, Britney Spears makes the difficult decision to not whore her infant son to People magazine. No matter: This is the age of the internet, Brit, and the fate of the Federletus really isn't up to you. [Page Six]
• LACHLAN MURDOCH IS BACK IN NEW YORK!!! He's probably just visiting, but we don't care — hand us the lube, it's time to celebrate! [R&M]
• Can celebrities please try to fuck off-camera? Yeah, Carolyn Murphy, we're talking to you. [Page Six]
• Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham throws a hissy fit at the Rock and Republic fashion show when she hears that her denim won't be used on the catwalk. Slow news day. [Lowdown]

Having abruptly booted Kate Moss from their fall campaign after the supermodel was photographed hoovering cocaine, cheapie clothier H&M is currently looking for her replacement (models Erin O'Connor and Mariacarla Boscono are on the short list).

Isn't this week's featured face in New York mag's Look Book, Bethany Liebman, pretty? It doesn't matter whether you agree or not: Liebman knows she's pretty, which is why she doesn't have to wear a lot of makeup. Pity, seeing as she's a makeup artist at the Clinique counter, the fall-back of choice for struggling painters — such as herself — everywhere. No matter: the Clinique gig is just to hold Liebman over until she starts her clothing line for well-heeled toddlers. No, we're serious. After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up Dawn Chan, Jason McIntyre, and Tiffanie Graham for a game of fashion police.

While we've been nothing but supportive of supermodel Kate Moss's highly publicized cocaine habit, we might have to step back for a moment and deliver some heavy-handed criticism to our girl. Yesterday, it was reported that Moss's on-and-off junky boyfriend Pete Doherty was planning to visit Moss at the Meadows rehab center in Arizona — and while we thought it wasn't perhaps the best idea for a heroin addict to go visit Moss during this delicate time, we certainly had to admire homeboy's dedication.

We fail to see how this possibly could be a good idea. Unless, of course, he intends to stay.

In this week's Very Special Look Book, New York mag goes to opening night at the Metropolitan Opera and finds Fancy People. While the glittery visages of many an opera fan are featured, special attention is paid to the couple at right, Cathryn Macrae and Robert Graff. Cathryn is wearing a sparkly balloon from Oscar de la Renta which, she can't help but mention, she wore to dinner with Prince Charles at Windsor Castle. Well, la-di-da! After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up Jamin Warren, John McGill, and Ali Rosenzweig for a roundtable discussion on the size of that damn dress.

What's the only thing more secondhand-embarrassing than a disturbingly stylized W mag photo spread of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie playing house? Easy: A disturbingly stylized W mag photo spread of former Gucci dom Tom Ford lying naked in bed with women.