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In this week's Very Special Look Book, New York mag goes to opening night at the Metropolitan Opera and finds Fancy People. While the glittery visages of many an opera fan are featured, special attention is paid to the couple at right, Cathryn Macrae and Robert Graff. Cathryn is wearing a sparkly balloon from Oscar de la Renta which, she can't help but mention, she wore to dinner with Prince Charles at Windsor Castle. Well, la-di-da! After the jump, Intern Alexis rounds up Jamin Warren, John McGill, and Ali Rosenzweig for a roundtable discussion on the size of that damn dress.

Jamin Warren, Pitchfork Media staffer/freelancer

Who's the guy... REALLY?

Regional man of mystery Robert Graff doubles as her driver and dangerous liason. Dude is ballin out of control. Check the mug: steely and oh so demure, just like his glock. He's been watching the Remington Steele DVDs non-stop and has the tats to prove it. Get familiar.

What do you think Cathryn and Prince Charles talked about?

Meds probably. Cathryn is the facilitator between the pharmaceutical and scientific community so she keeps the Royal Family well-stocked. And it's not OTCs she's pushing. We're talking gene therapy/stem cell seriousness here. Currently, Charles is taking pills to turn his skin into cold steel, just like his hero Colossus.

What is a "world opinion leader"?

When I was in eigth-grade, my English class had a "Deforestation on Trial" exercise. I was the D.A. on the pro-loggers side. I had all these arguments worked out as to why we needed to continue destroying the tropical rainforest at the current rate (e.g. we need napkins, dude). The conservation side just showed pictures of charred bonobos and screaming children from slash-and-burn logging techniques. If I hadn't been playing a world opinion leader, I'd have felt like such a douchebag. Get out of my face, I have toucans to explode.

Who 'put' her in the dress? And who is going to take her out?

Caty's got some Wallace-and-the-Wrong-Trousers-type contraption that she jerry-rigged in her penthouse. Two floors, trapdoors, the works. Just the idea gets Rube Goldberg's palms greasy.

For the dismount, I imagined something like the finale of Julia Sweeney's 1994 biopic It's Pat when the loveable Pat Riley is lowered half-naked from stage rigging before a the live audience at a Ween concert, exposing Pat's true sexuality. Less gender-bending though. But not much less.

What do you think you would find underneath Cathryn's dress?

The Den of Forgotten Souls. Unbeknownst to Graff, this is Caty's only outfit. So when people ask if she's worn that get-up before, she stuffs them underneath the dress into the purgatory of desolate loneliness. If you look carefully, you can actually see Robert's lower torso being pulled into the chasm of infinite gloom. The life is waning from his eyes. There's also a Gymboree. You know, for the kids.


John McGill, Sharkitect

Who's the guy... REALLY?

According to Google, Mr. Graff was the man behind Warner Brothers' "Animaniacs" and "Pinky & the Brain" comics. He looks more like a cross between Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Truman Capote and Sir Denis Eton-Hogg. Come to think of it, that's probably exactly how I'd imagine the creator of the "Pinky & the Brain" comic book.

What do you think Cathryn and Prince Charles talked about?

Given her experience as a facilitator between the pharmaceutical and scientific communities, they might have discussed the effects of the anti-alcoholic drugs disulfiram and calcium cyanamide on schedule-induced ethanol drinking. Charles would have been interested in this as a way of keeping Harry out of the pubs. But since it was mainly a social function, they probably just talked about horsies.

What is a "world opinion leader"?

I think here she's trying to say that not only does she have a TimesSelect account, but she also got it for free by getting Bob Herbert a sweet deal on Bextra.

Who 'put' her in the dress? And who is going to take her out?

I think it's not so much a matter of "who" as "what." After all, when you work with world opinion leaders like Bob Herbert and Chuck Klosterman all day long, you don't have a whole hell of a lot of time to get ready, no matter how much help you have. I imagine she has employed a fulltime builder of war machines, like Vitruvius or Leonardo back in the day, to design and construct elaborate cranes and scaffolds to pour her into her couture in a matter of seconds. As for who will be taking her out of it, why, it's the same man who takes her out of her dress every night, Pinky: Sir Denis Eton-Hogg.

What do you think you would find underneath Cathryn's dress?

I would expect to find gears, ball bearings, and an array of springs and pulleys. Embarrassingly, the Peau de soie Manolos she mentions are not so much "skin of silk" as they are "skin of pork bristles," so I imagine you'd find a lot of dead leaves down there, too. But Swarovski crystals? Damn, girl. Walking behind her must be like driving behind a tarred-and-feathered Cadillac sitting on some sick rims.


Ali Rosenzweig, TV Producer

Who's the guy... REALLY?

He's the inflate-a-date that she had stashed under her dress the whole car ride there. No wonder she had a hard time gettin' outta the car. At least our girl's got some lung capacity. It IS always nice to bring someone to the opera — especially because the Rabbit wouldn't look as nice (nor nearly as awkward) in a tux...and yes, when she gets home, she will "retire" him to her underwear drawer.

What do you think Cathryn and Prince Charles talked about?

I would say they most likely discussed how imperative it is that affluent countries continue to provide financial assistance for less fortunate regions, so that they will not be ill-prepared for such devastating natural disasters, and that by executing these principles they will be able to rebuild and rehabilitate as one superpower...or maybe they just talked about how "this season" Camilla Parker Bowles' wedding day wheat crown was.

What is a "world opinion leader"?

What do you mean? Doesn't everyone work with world opinion leaders? I mean, people told her that she was meant to wear a spiderweb from the Moulin Rouge, so now she thinks she's wearing it well. Honestly Cath, what kind of world would we live in without people leading our opinions?

Who 'put' her in the dress? And who is going to take her out?

I'd say it took the entire pharmaceutical community as well as the all the fellas in the scientific community to pour her into that frock o' fun, however I think she's still stuck in her car with the thing on. "Anyone...? Robert? Camilla? I'm sorry, it was a lovely little hat really."

What do you think you would find underneath Cathryn's dress?

Well, since Robert's already made his debut, I'm gonna go with the obvious choice...the London Chamber Orchestra. Whoa, is that French horn under there? Oh, nope sorry just one of the Queen's serving spoons. VERY this season.