This image was lost some time after publication.


Last week, the blogosphere mourned the passing of one of its most beloved sons, Tale of Two Cities. But dry your dorky eyes, children, because its most popular feature, Blue States Lose, has come to Gawker.

The premise: We sort through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party and Misshapes so you don't have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. Enjoy. After the jump, Joey Arak takes you on a magical, assymetrical tour of hipster hell.

(Note: The Cobrasnake took the week off, so only two sources were used for this week's inaugural Gawker list. Expect more variety next time around.)

This image was lost some time after publication.


10) Last Night's Party. Shindig II photo #1709: "I am delighted by the most fanciful things! A box that captures souls?! Fucking awe— oh whatever, you know what I'm going to say. I wear my emotions on my sleeve! Hahaha get it?"

This image was lost some time after publication.


9) Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #046: OK, everybody, we need a volunteer. Please raise your hand if you're willing to take part in a desperate attempt to appear relevant. Whoa whoa whoa! Only one hand, dear.

This image was lost some time after publication.


8)Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #025: Back on the site where I used to do this little weekly rundown, I would often get angry e-mails asking why I couldn't just let people go out and have a good time without raining on their parade. Well, folks, here's the answer: I do it for the little people. I do it for the little people who dress up like Grandma Funeral and shoot "the look" as unlit cigarettes dangle from their lips while their imaginations run wild with perceived interpretations of how awesome they must look. I do it for them. I do it for the retards.

This image was lost some time after publication.


7) Last Night's Party. Shindig II photo #1675: Oh my God isn't New York just so awesome? Look at us! We drink Budweiser and have ironic facial hair and tattoos and we smoke inside even though we're not technically not allowed to and...oh fuck, nevermind. That dude in the front could probably kill me. His pit stain could probably beat the shit out of me.

This image was lost some time after publication.


6) Last Night's Party. Misshapes III photo #0802: "If I go like this does it turn you on? Oh, fuck, your penis fell off, didn't it?"

This image was lost some time after publication.


5) Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #220: We're not sure how well he can box without the use of eyes, but apparently he beat the fuck out of Liberace's corpse and made off with his favorite jacket, so we don't feel like taking any chances, you know?

This image was lost some time after publication.


4) Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #093: Don't you get it, stupid? The manly Raiders T-shirt is ironic, because apparently he just took a load in the eye from a svelte (yet very very backed-up) mulatto boy. Tastes a little like Rocky Road, he always says.

This image was lost some time after publication.


3) Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #028: Some people think that the little boy from Problem Child and Problem Child 2 dropped off a little or became a crackhead or killed himself or something, but in reality he's just chasing that Big Apple dream. He grew up, enrolled at Parsons, moved to Williamsburg (East Williamsburg, thankyouverymuch) put a bowl on his head and started rolling dimes for his homemade jewelry. So fuck you, John Ritter, because you just don't his understand art! Next time try to be a little nicer to the dude and maybe he wouldn't be out on the streets dressed like jazzercise Corky Thatcher, you fucking dead fuck.

This image was lost some time after publication.


2) Misshapes. October 22, 2005 photo #201: "That bit of hair off to the side? 'Tis the lock I save for my fair maiden, wherever she may be. I will comb the lands of Arthur's court aboard my trusty steed, and when I find her I will unsheathe my sword and cut it off as a token of my eternal and undying love. Then I will present it to her an yes I said her! Wait, why do you laugh?"

This image was lost some time after publication.


1) Last Night's Party. Misshapes III photo #0765: "Hello, my name is Heinrich von Dietershtump IX and I come from the future where everyone is very very very very very very very sexycool. MAY I TELL YOU ABOUT IT!!!!! After the Great Style Wars of the 2060's we Germans finally took control of West America and made it fabulous beyond your wildest comprehensions and stupid little fantastical fantasies. Now I am a very very powerful businesstician but I still find time to travel back in time to make hot dance and tell people of our hatred of sleeves (icky!). Find me my wormhole??!?!!"