Aside from winning the award for Our Favoritest Graphic Ever, TheStreet.com does some solid analysis on the career of Donald Trump's newly-captured bride, Melania Knauss and the "title inflation" effect:
Current Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon (left) is twenty years older than Finance Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (right).
Thanks to a reader inexplicably in attendance, we've got an exclusive account of the hardly-publicized, super-secret Trump wedding reception:
· Vogue's Anna Wintour proclaims the Donald Trump-Melania Knauss wedding extravaganza to be one of the best parties she's ever attended, probably because she managed to enjoy the fete without being doused in red paint. Oh, and to reiterate that which has been reported ad nauseum, the entire affair was spectacularly ostenatious. [NYDN]
· Paris Hilton, attending Sundance to collect the free baubles she neither needs nor will ever use, has spent most of the time dodging her mortal enemies, Shannen Doherty and Rick Salomon. Funny, we'd think she'd be indebted to Salomon for timing the leak of their sextape to ensure that The Simple Life was a success. [Page Six]
· Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez, the duo behind Proenza Schouler, have ended their romantic relationship. Fashionistas needn't worry: the boys will still be working together to ensure that Barneys mannequins always have something to wear. [Page Six]
· Not content to merely manage his son's pee-wee football team, rapper Snoop Dogg has made it known that he'd like to coach for the Pittsburgh Steelers. [Lowdown]
· Rumors are flying that music exec Jordan Bratman has (or very soon will) propose to his girlfriend, Christina Aguilera. Reps are issuing the standard denials, and if we've taught you nothing else, it's that "no" always means anything but. [ELK]
· Gold-digging would-be trophy wives take a moment of silence for Chris Heinz, stepson of Senator John Kerry, who is reportedly in posession of Troy actress Diane Kruger. [R&M]
Those crazy kids over at the Associated Press really get us, you know? They know you don't want to hear about Iraqi elections or that Abbas dude. They understand that braving the sickening cold outside just to sit under the flourescent lights of your cubicle is depressing enough, especially after a holiday weekend. So, in an act of sheer generousity, the empathetic AP photo staff is making your Tuesday (which, as of right now, is the new Monday) a bit more tolerable with a possible nip slip from our favorite kept woman, Donald Trump's fianc e Melania Knauss. While the image is still in our nip-slip forensics lab for extensive testing, we at Gawker firmly believe in the veracity of Knauss's crooked areola.
Breaking new ground in pseudo-luxury cross-promotional co-branding for the MBA-set, Donald Trump is teaming up with Carnival Cruise Lines for Trump World Magazine and Expedia's The Apprentice Legend Cruise. Like business catchphrases and watching the sunset on the ocean? Then have we got a cruise for you from September 26-October 4.
· Donald Trump's wedding to Melania Knauss at his Mar-a-Lago estate promises to be every bit as bombastic as we'd expect. Foodie god Jean-George Vongerichten will be catering free of charge in a specially-built ballroom, but that's not enough to lure ex-wives Ivana Trump and Marla Maples to the ceremony. [Page Six]
· Is Ashley Olsen heading down the wrong path? The wide-eyed twin and friends reportedly destroyed a room at the Beverly Hills Hotel during a holiday party. This is disturbing—any young Hollywood girl would know that room-trashing is to be done at the Sunset Marquis. [Lowdown]
· American Idol loser and professional Child Hater Clay Aiken won't speak to the gay press. Gee, we wonder why! [Page Six]
· The latest report in the Paris Hilton Bodily Fluid Watch: she's now hooking up with Greeks, having been spotted with Paris Latsis in Gstaad and Chris Contogouris around NYC. [R&M (last item)]
· Britney Spears continues to write letters, the latest being to Christina Aguilera about how pretty Aguilera looks lately. Very sly, Brit, very sly. [Scoop]
In a suprisingly endearing profile of the Trump children—Donald Jr., Ivanka, and Eric—New York's Jonathan Van Meter meets the younger Don, who's currently working his way up his old man's ladder:
There's something gleefully ironic in seeing a bajillionaire—one who professes to be the ultimate businessman and even has an ego-tripping reality show revolving around that very notion—file for bankruptcy. Not that we're happy Donald Trump's casinos filed those nasty Chapter 11 papers (again) yesterday for his failed Atlantic City ventures. After all, losing money in that arena just means we'll be inevitably subjected to a profit-inducing increase of his televised, bombastic spittle. Nobody wins, people.
Trump's Casino's File For Bankruptcy [Reuters]
· GQ Editor Art Cooper, saying goodbye via email: "The great virtue about e-mails is they don't show tear stains." [Page Six]
· CNN's response to the question of whether they turned up the booing on Michael Moore's Oscar speech: "It's ridiculous. That's our response." [Page Six]
· Donald Trump's girlfriend, Melania Knauss, has dozens of seemingly identical black coats. Her explanation: the paparazzi photograph her everywhere she goes and, "if you wear something twice, even a coat, you're a target." [Page Six]
· Hillary Clinton's memoir isn't going to be a juicy tell-all. [Cindy Adams]
· Cindy Crawford: "Arugula is how I define cities. I go to a grocery store and either you can get arugula or you can't." [Cindy Adams]
· First Brother Neil Bush's estranged wife, Sharon, is considering writing what will definitely be a juicy tell-all. [NY Daily News]
Reality TV promoters have now duly earned their places in the ninth circle of Hell. Donald Trump is slated to star in new reality show called "The Apprentice"a sort of corporate "Survivor" wherein participants will work for Trump, who will fire one contestant a week. The winner gets a six-figure salary.
New reality show to feature tycoon Trump [via Drudge]
New York Magazine just turned 35, which means it's roughly five years away from running off with a leggy underage blonde and blaming it on an existential crisis and/or the price of GE when the trading floor last closed. As part of their "celebration," they've put together a list of "100 People Who Changed New York" that includes a few of our contemporary favorites and a few "classics":
· IVAN BOESKY, arrested Reagan-era arbitrageur. Had three phones in his car; still got caught. Quote: "Immoral is probably wrong...I prefer the word unethical." A cautionary tale.
· TINA BROWN, editor. Carp, carpTina's New Yorker doesn t look so bad these days.
· CALVIN KLEIN, designer, Latrell Sprewell interlocutor. Billboard pioneer made you look at the label. From Brooklyn.
· DONALD TRUMP, fortunate son, builder, tabloid headline. Trump this, Trump that. The name itself is onomatopoeia.
· HARVEY WEINSTEIN, neo-maverick film producer. No him, no power omelette at Bubby s
· ANNA WINTOUR, editor, Vogue. Bringing fashionable chill to the masses.
100 people who changed New York [NY Mag]
· Palm Beach's Landmarks Preservation Commission think Donald Trump's coat-of-arms logos with his surname beneath them are "unseemly." Trump uses the same logo to advertise for his Park Avenue condos in New York, and the Palm Beachers believe the "New York" brand dilutes the value of the "Palm Beach" estate. [Page Six]
· Denise Rich is said to be another Leona Helmsley. She fires staffers citing budget cuts, but always replaces them, and came onto her ex-partner, Herbert Black. [Page Six]
· Liz Smith on the invite to the Vanity Fair Oscar party: "This came on some kind of heavy vellum papier-mache that must have cost newspaper tycoon Si Newhouse of Cond Nast a pretty penny. (The envelope alone is made of something one is tempted to keep and have made into a bulletproof vest.)" [Liz Smith]
· Courtney Love says "Every woman in America is on Xanax...You can go to a taco stand in L.A. and get it. It's the No. 2 drug in America, and it's completely addictive." Items on Bruce Springsteen's concert rider: beluga caviar on Carr water crackers, imported cheese, white linen tablecloths and a "large" box of Belgian chocolates. [NY Daily News]
Psycho old windbag Notorious hotelier Leona Helmsley is accusing everyone from Tom Cruise to Donald Trump to her own lawyers of being gay behind her back. And she doesn't like it one bit! Hell hath no fury like a woman who isn't getting laid when she suspects other people are.
Leona's wild Cruise slur [NY Post]
· Esquire is setting up a party pad in one of Donald Trump's buildings. [Page Six]
· Pataki's suspiciously red eyes attributed to contact lenses. [Page Six]
· Oliver Stone's next movie is a film about Yasser Arafat titled "Persona Non Grata." [Page Six]
· Architect Daniel Libeskind has problems with calling Ground Zero "the pit." [Page Six]
· Chicago producer Marty Richards almost missed getting into the Golden Globes ceremony. [Cindy Adams]
· Christopher Walken rubs cats for pain relief. [Cindy Adams]
· Golden Globes starlets had to sign contracts stating that they'd wear the gowns they'd been given after designers got tired of actresses taking home the dresses and never wearing them. [Liz Smith]
· The Miramax Golden Globes after party was so crowded, Colin Farrell, Heath Ledger, and Shelley Morrison were turned away. Tommy Lee demanded that Penthouse Pets take their shirts off, at a recent Penthouse party, and when they refused to comply, he attempted to remove them himself. [NY Daily News]
· Book Magazine explores Hunter S. Thompson's house; finds stun gun/cattle prod, dented stove, and pics of Charlotte Rampling. [Page Six]
· Liza Minelli caught "drunk and weepy" on tape at the Beekman Kitchen. Also spotted mumbling to herself "Minelli, get it together," at Ralph Lauren on Madison Avenue. [Page Six]
· The Kissingers, Carters, De La Rentas, and Corzines will be spending New Year's in the Dominican Republic. [Page Six]
· Newly divorced socialite Rena Sindi spotted frolicking in Cabo with new boyfriend, Israeli art dealer Tico Mugrabi, as well as Charlie Rose, Allen Grubman, and Berry Gordy. [Page Six]
· Peter Gatien's daughter, Jennifer, suffers from a broken nose after being accidentally hit by policemen, who claim she "hit herself in the face with her cell phone." [Page Six]
· Donald Trump planning to sue after Don Jr. gets beaned with a beer stein at a Greenwich Village comedy club; Harrison Ford says New Year's Eve is "bullshit;" and the campaign to bring the Oscars to New York is officially dead. [NY Daily News]
· Ex-Tyco tycoon's Nantucket neighbors pony up cash to keep him out of jail [Page Six]
· Weinstein meets his soulmate: Hollywood Foreign Press Association member "throws wine at," "lunges at" people at Miramax Gangs of New York event [Page Six]
· The Donald fined for intentionally overwatering golf course during emergency drought [Page Six]
· New Yorkers are buying blow-up dolls to get around transit strike-induced four-to-a-car commuter minimums [Cindy Adams]
