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· Donald Trump's wedding to Melania Knauss at his Mar-a-Lago estate promises to be every bit as bombastic as we'd expect. Foodie god Jean-George Vongerichten will be catering free of charge in a specially-built ballroom, but that's not enough to lure ex-wives Ivana Trump and Marla Maples to the ceremony. [Page Six]
· Is Ashley Olsen heading down the wrong path? The wide-eyed twin and friends reportedly destroyed a room at the Beverly Hills Hotel during a holiday party. This is disturbing—any young Hollywood girl would know that room-trashing is to be done at the Sunset Marquis. [Lowdown]
· American Idol loser and professional Child Hater Clay Aiken won't speak to the gay press. Gee, we wonder why! [Page Six]
· The latest report in the Paris Hilton Bodily Fluid Watch: she's now hooking up with Greeks, having been spotted with Paris Latsis in Gstaad and Chris Contogouris around NYC. [R&M (last item)]
· Britney Spears continues to write letters, the latest being to Christina Aguilera about how pretty Aguilera looks lately. Very sly, Brit, very sly. [Scoop]