One of my favorite annual traditions is when Village Voice gossip legend Michael Musto dresses up like the year's newsmakers for the paper's year in review issue. This year he is giving us some Kim Kardashian realness!

Trump fired himself as moderator from his own debate and this incurred that wrath of Stephen Colbert. Because they are "best friends," this allows Colbert to call Trump a "boob" and "the product of a sex between a tangelo and old dish rag." That's the thing about best friends — they know you better than anyone.

After every Republican presidential candidate except Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum dropped out of his debate, chronic mango-lacquered television ailment Donald Trump has decided to drop the whole thing. But "near-total lack of interest from the invitees," you won't be surprised to learn, is not the reason he gives. He is suddenly concerned about conflicts of interest, such as him running for president later on. Very reasonable. Hmm.

Time for your daily dose of Giving Donald Trump Any Kind of Publicity! Today: The shrieking mudbuttface's precious little debate is in tatters. Michele Bachmann has turned him down, setting the final roster of participants at Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum. Or some combination of two.

Rick Perry is the latest candidate to turn down Donald Trump's debate. Now, assuming the debate isn't canceled, it will just be Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, and potentially Michele Bachmann fielding awful questions from this NBC television actor.

Think about it, a little more: Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich. It wasn't the best year for recruiters of Republican presidential candidates. And now that the deadline has passed in most early states to get on the primary ballot, there's no chance for anyone else to jump in. Unless the incompetent rich Republican donors "pull some strings," or whatever it is that the rich do in emergencies.

Even though Jon Stewart thinks the Donald Trump-moderated Republican debate will be the best one ever, many others are less excited about it. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert added himself to the list of naysayers. Colbert then announced his own debate—"Stephen Colbert's South Carolina Serious, Classy Republican Debate"—which he plans to moderate sometime in January. Of course, Colbert's announcement could just be a joke. Then again, he's proven before that he'll do pretty much anything in the name of comedy.

On Friday, the conservative website Newsmax announced it would hold a Republican presidential debate on December 27, moderated by none other than Donald Trump. Only Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have so far accepted the invitation, with Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney refusing it—even Karl Rove doesn't like the idea! But you know who is excited about the prospect of a Trump Debate? Jon Stewart, as he explained on tonight's Daily Show.

Keep in mind is that Donald Trump has already won. He got the opportunity to moderate a presidential debate right before primary season, and two candidates have already accepted. To get even one candidate to accept an invitation to something so blindingly stupid and farcical would've been a once-in-a-generation political feat. Nevertheless, it's possible that the final head count may stop at two debaters, leaving the debate well short of maximum comedic capacity.

We still can't quite wrap our heads around this after a full hour of staring at the wall, and crying, so let's see if the simple act of typing it out helps: Donald Trump, after meeting with child-labor zealot Newt Gingrich this morning, has announced a plan to hire at least 10 poor children as "apprenti." This development is about as surreal as the phrases "2012 Republican presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich" and "2012 Republican debate moderator Donald Trump." Are we completely untethered, now? Have things come undone?

Sure, why the fuck not? "Donald Trump is pairing up with Newsmax, the conservative magazine and news Web site, to moderate a presidential debate in Des Moines on Dec. 27." The Republican party's finally getting serious. (WOW.)

Here's the latest video From The Desk Of Donald Trump, in which our hero shouts about how Jon Stewart "gets away" with a "VERY VERY RACIST RANT about Herman Cain." Trump, who's always been a good friend of "the blacks," finds deep-seated racism in Stewart's Herman Cain impression.

Rick Perry has spent a few days going out of his way to question the validity of President Obama's birth certificate, either because he has actual doubts or just wants to make some jokes with Donald Trump.

Today's edition of Parade magazine features an interview with Republican presidential candidate/sultan of Texas Rick Perry, who says he went out to dinner with bloviating birther Donald Trump and now isn't totally sure if President Barack Obama was born in Hawaii or Kenya or on Mercury or what. Donald Trump is that persuasive.

Poor Donald Trump! The all-American man of the people and real estate tycoon has sold his marble nightmare of a mansion in Rancho Palos Verdes, California. The home was listed for $12 million in 2010, but sold for a middling $7.5 million.

We missed the Michele Bachmann/Donald Trump joint "tele-townhall" this evening, because it was a Michele Bachmann/Donald Trump joint "tele-townhall." But maybe we made the wrong decision, because it sounds like it was a trip.

Donald Trump only picks winners, according to Donald Trump. He is so busy picking winners that he has no time to hang out with losers. So... that's why he's joining destroyed presidential candidate Michele Bachmann for her campaign's "tele-townhall" today? A winning move, by all measures.

Donald Trump was all excited this morning that his suit line was debuting at Macy's. Well, it seems like it's about a step away from being on sale at Daffy's because, as Mogulite pointed out, the suits are already 70% off.

The desperate deluxe Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort in gross glamorous Atlantic City features the best of everything, naturally. But now guests at Donald Trump's vomit-tinted Xanadu can look as great as the Taj makes them feel, as the hotel is awarding a $25,000 plastic surgery gift certificate to one lucky card player, good for "mix and match surgeries, including breast enhancements, tummy tucks, liposuction and face lifts." But why go so run-of-the-mill, when you could instead use that money to have the hair from a giraffe's nutsack grafted directly onto your scalp, which you might then style in a fetching, comb-forwarded fashion that's sure to excite your mail-ordered, Slovenian succubus bride? You do deserve the best, after all. [AP, photo via Getty]

Far-right presidential candidate Rick Perry dined with self-appointed "godfather of politics" Donald Trump last night. What did they do afterwards? Partied with pageant queens, Kardashians, and Kathie Lee Gifford at the Sheri Hill fashion show in the Trump Tower. Update: Page Six reports that Perry "made a beeline backstage" to hang out with the models, including Kathie Lee's daughter Cassidy.