Think Team Trump wouldn't use his meeting with Rick Perry last night to greatly and farcically exaggerate his power over the Republican presidential contest? No, of course you didn't think that. Anyway, we just want to confirm that it happened.
Here we have the latest shouty comedy video From the Desk of Donald Trump, in which our host reviews the Dick Cheney memoir that he has not read. You might even like this one! Trump, he just knows that Dick Cheney's a liar about everything, and doesn't like to see him "ratting out" his old colleagues.
Donald Trump is going to Australia this September, and he's invited a select group of business leaders to meet with him while he's there. Oh, except he's expecting that they'll pay at least $10,000 just to hang out with him.
Gilded dildo casket Donald Trump sure was peeved during his weekly call into Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends, today. Muammar Qaddafi, he's no good, sure, but why do the people of Libya now get to manage all of that sweet untapped brent crude under the sands of their own country? Can't NATO, meaning America, just sort of take it now?
Donald Trump bought himself a gold-plated 757 so that he can cruise around the country and pretend like he's running for president in a desperate attempt to remain in the spotlight. Knowing how much everyone in America cares about the details of his private air fleet, Trump posted a video tour of the monstrosity on YouTube. Let's check it out.
Why had no one thought to ask death-soaked bubonic replicant Donald Trump, America's foremost lover of declaring bankruptcy, about the debt ceiling until now? In retrospect, it was irresponsible to form a single opinion about the issue of raising America's borrowing limit before soliciting the advice of this prominent capitalist cartoon character, from television. What is to be done, Mr. Trump?
Ice-T and Coco give marriage advice. Is Jennifer Aniston a boyfriend stealer? Thandie Newton names the director who took advantage of her when she was 16. Ed Westwick gets in a shoving match at a bar. Tuesday gossip is aggressive.
Classy American racist Donald Trump is enjoying his post-almost-presidency repose the way any exceedingly wealthy titan of industry would: By trying to peddle cheesy photos of himself and his family to tabloids for $20,000.
Tangerine-dipped social construct Donald Trump took some heat from The Daily Show and others for stacking his two slices of pizza and eating them with a fork and knife on a recent jaunt to a Broadway chain restaurant with the Palin family. This provided a perfect opening for Trump to issue a public explanation and keep the controversy aflame for another few hours.
If New York City seemed especially smart last night, it's because Sarah Palin and Donald Trump dined together over a slice of Famiglia pizza in Times Square.
What could be better for the body politic than Donald Trump starting his fake presidential campaign all over again? Pretty much anything. But it could happen! No, really, it could — he vaguely alluded to this possibility in today's edition of Monday Mornings with Trump, a weekly segment that still exists on Fox News' illiterate dementia variety hour, Fox & Friends.
Moss-covered property troll Donald Trump may have sacrificed a presidential bid in order to better serve the Celebrity Apprentice-watching people, but that doesn't mean he'll stop giving of himself. The man just gives and gives! Wait, did I say gives? I meant "takes"—as in $35,000 per course at his institute of higher earning, Trump U.
On the same night he told Bill O'Reilly that he'd consider voting against President Obama in 2012, Jon Stewart took to The Daily Show this evening to comment on Donald Trump's now-defunct campaign. Naturally, Stewart and his team of joke writers are saddened at the prospect of a Trump-free campaign season, so he begged him to come back.
The past few days have brought some big changes to the field of Republicans running for President in 2012. First, Mike Huckabee announced over the weekend that he wouldn't enter the race. Then, earlier today, Donald Trump officially dropped out. On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert bid adieu to both of them.
