Brian Williams thinks Donald Trump has "driven well past the last exit to relevance." He thinks he is "irresponsible." Brian Williams was not amused by Donald Trump's unraveled tweeting.

While most of us are celebrating Mitt Romney's defeat in the streets by legally smoking marijuana and gay-marrying randomly-chosen passers-by, not everyone is quite so happy. And thanks to Twitter, we know about it. Vibrating bologna loaf Donald Trump, mistakenly believing that Romney won the popular vote, is calling for "revolution," — revolution! — while former SNL actress Victoria Jackson is sobbing and telling Christians that they "disgust" her. We've saved all of their most embarrassing (some already deleted) Tweets here:

Yesterday we wondered if Donald Trump was sending crew members to gas deprived Yonkers to fill up vans for the production of his reality show The Apprentice. Our tipster finally got back to us last night and gave us a first hand account of the event:

One of the most frustrating parts of post-Sandy life has been the unendingly long lines for gas. Two arrests for violence at gas stations were made in Staten Island yesterday, and Yonkers Mayor Mike Spano announced yesterday that gas rations would come into effect today, limiting gas sales to ten gallons per driver.

Following Donald Trump's game-changing October Surprise — a decidedly unserious promise to donate $5 million to Obama's charity of choice if the president releases his college and passport records to Trump's "satisfaction" — Guardian writer Adam Gabbatt thought it would be only fair to ask Trump to release his own college and passport records, so he phoned up Trump's special counsel, Trump Organization executive VP Michael Cohen.

Donald Trump's "October Surprise" turned out to be a dud: A lame offer, which Trump would most likely back out of, to donate $5 million to the charity of President Obama's choice if he releases his college records and a copy of his passport.

At long last, Donald Trump released his highly anticipated "October surprise" on YouTube today. Rumors were swirling for days about what the major announcement was going to be; the announcement that the animated toupe said was "bordering on gigantic."

Professional birther troll and ugly haired human, Donald Trump has been parading around this week alleging that he had a bombshell so big that it was "bordering on gigantic." A story so big that it would "possibly" change the state of the election. "Possibly," everybody.

The reviews of Mitt Romney's reaction to the Libya crisis this week were uniformly damning. But Donald Trump, little orange scamp that he is, knows solid trolling material when he sees it. Which is why he just offered up the above tweet, which accuses the President of being friends with terrorists. Because at this point, why not? Your man Romney is getting his ass kicked in the polls, so why not lay all your cards out on the table and accuse the President of virtually everything possible? Terrorism. Murder. Incest. Once you've crossed the line into blatant slander, you may as well go all the way.

Avid Tamagatchi and fine-toothed comb collector Donald Trump knows a thing or two about the word "loser." Namely, Donald Trump knows when it can best be used to describe a person, place, business, television show, or thing.

Human candy corn Donald Trump, a well-known Political Expert and Successful Reality-Television Business Actor, has a "big surprise" planned for the Republican National Convention. We know this because he tweeted it a few days ago:

Miss Pennsylvania USA 2012 Sheena Monnin resigned her role in an angry Facebook post that accused the Miss USA pageant officials of fixing the contest and having the finalists all picked out prior to the show's airing.

On tonight's Daily Show, Jon Stewart was given a gift from the comedy gods: the re-emergence of Donald Trump and his birther claims. Trump and his ridiculousness is truly a gift that just keeps giving.

Donald Trump and his birther crusade just won't go away. On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert examined the latest in Trump's ridiculousness and explained what it means for Mitt Romney.

How stupid is tinted meatball Donald Trump? So stupid that Wolf Blitzer — Wolf Blitzer! — made him look like a fool on CNN. A partial transcript:

Tonight Mitt Romney said that he doesn't agree with all of his supporters, but he still appreciates their help in his eventual victory. The elephant in the room is that one of his loudest (and richest) supporters, Donald Trump, is once again spouting his birther nonsense about President Obama.

Once again, Mitt Romney has a significant lead in a Republican caucus — this time in the Mormon-heavy state of Nevada. CNN reports that the Republican frontrunner is well ahead of his opponents, which should come as no surprise to those who remember Romney's showing in 2008. (He's big in Nevada.)

On tonight's Daily Show, Donald Trump's endorsement of Mitt Romney lead to a discussion about class warfare between Jon Stewart and correspondent John Hodgman. More accurately, it is the case that Hodgman has no stomach for Stewart's brand of liberal whining about the rich having it all and some such. It's a spirited debate, one that touches the very essence of what kind of place this nation truly is. Or maybe it's filled with vague platitudes about "haves" and "soon to haves." Either way.

Uh-oh, guys: Donald Trump just tweeted that he will be making a "major announcement" tomorrow. Is he maniacally ridiculous enough to run as an independent candidate for President? Is he ending his awful reality show? (Is his show even still on? We stopped watching after they got rid of Omorosa.) Is he perhaps going to half-endorse a candidate just to copy Sarah Palin? Did he write a book of Ronald Reagan fan fiction? Oh well, no one cares. Every photon of limelight shed on this peripatetic gasbag contributes directly to the girth of his already morbidly obese ego. Seriously. Therefore, here is a list of five things cool or inconsequential things on the Internets for you to read about or watch tomorrow during his idiotic "announcement" whatever it is, because they are all more interesting than Donald Trump:

Lies: They travel halfway round the world before the truth gets its boots on. If you don't tell them, you never have to remember anything. Ask me no questions and I won't tell you any. The year that now comes to an end was, like all years, riddled with them. Grand lies and small ones, grave ones and frivolous ones, true ones and false ones—check that. They were all false. Here is a list of some of them that really caught my attention.