A long time ago / We used to be friends / But I haven’t thought of you / Lately at all

T. Boone Pickens, the billionaire oil man, is 87 years old. T. Boone Pickens announced this week that he is supporting Donald Trump for president. Death looms in front of us all.

Men on the internet are upset again.

According to a recent Facebook post by Anthony Senecal, close friend and butler of Donald Trump, Obama is a “prick” who “needs to be hung [sic].”

On Tuesday, Donald Trump told the Associated Press that he doesn’t plan to release his tax returns before the presidential election in November. “There’s nothing to learn from them,” he said. Then, on Wednesday, he said he would release them. “I’ll release. Hopefully before the election I’ll release,” he told Fox News. “And I’d like to release.” (Doesn’t seem like it.) “You learn very little from a tax return,” he added. Maybe, but you learn a lot from someone’s ambivalence about releasing them.

Like a man making his final booty call to an ex-lover he previously spurned, Donald Trump went on the radio yesterday to own Jeb Bush one last time, two months after the nice man from Florida exited the race.

Donald Trump and Paul Ryan met today in Washington D.C. and things went well—the meeting was great, and they both walked away feeling good about things. Why, did someone say differently?

On Wednesday, members of the Hindu Sena, a right-wing Indian nationalist group, gathered in a New Delhi protest park to ask the Hindu gods to help Donald Trump win the presidential election. “Only Donald Trump can save humanity,” Vishnu Gupta, the group’s founder, told reporters.

The Donald Trump campaign formalized its association with America’s Stormfront posters yesterday when it named William Johnson, a well-known and avowed white nationalist, as one of its delegates in California. (The campaign attributed Johnson’s selection to a database error, but that seems unlikely.) Now, as Trump’s people continue to backpedal, the Huffington Post reports that they’ve missed the formal deadline to boot Johnson from the list.

Presumptive Republican Party presidential nominee @realDonaldTrump, May 2014:

A small group of conservatives, who have been watching in horror as people who are not white straight men enjoy the same constitutional protections and benefits, are reportedly planning for a “battle” at the national convention. Ironic, in that they’re finally fighting for minorities—themselves.

The Obama presidency has left an indelible mark on American society, particularly on the issues of race and racism. Deep and enduring fractures across racial lines have been thrust to the forefront of the national conversation. Even though Obama’s presidency is nearing its end, issues of race continue to dominate the political news cycle, from Donald Trump’s comments about Latinos and Muslims, to Black Lives Matter activists challenging the Democratic candidates on the issue of race. The future of race in America will be defined by today’s youth, and some commentators (including one of us), have expressed skepticism about whether young whites truly hold different views from older whites. However, new data from the 2016 American National Elections Study (ANES) pilot survey suggest that, at least on some dimensions, young whites are quite a bit more racially progressive than their parents.

Now that Donald Trump all but has the Republican presidential nomination completely locked up, he has to start thinking about how to actually put his zany and evil ideas into practice. For instance: the Muslim ban. Who better to oversee it than his old pal Rudy Giuliani?

Recalling an old joke, Donald Trump released a statement celebrating his decisive wins over nobody in West Virginia and Nebraska on Tuesday, adding, “and by such large margins!”

After urging supporters in West Virginia not to vote, Donald Trump nonetheless won overwhelming victories in that state and Nebraska on Tuesday, soundly defeating two men who dropped out of the race last week.

In an interview with the Associated Press on Tuesday, Donald Trump appeared unable to remember how many people he is vetting to be his running mate—possibly because he isn’t actually vetting anyone. “I have a list of people that I would like,” which has been narrowed to “five or six people.” Sure!

For the California primary, Donald Trump has selected several people to represent him as delegates. One of those delegates is William Johnson, a famous white nationalist Trump was forced to disavow in January over a series of racist robocalls. But that was then and this is now: “I can be a white nationalist and be a strong supporter of Donald Trump and be a good example to everybody,” Johnson assures Mother Jones.

Some of Donald Trump’s former friends and acquaintances this week felt compelled to describe him as a business-and-family-oriented man who would never objectify a woman, which he of course would never do now that he’s courting Hillary’s voters. One particular argument to that effect, volunteered by Trump’s former attorney, is hauntingly bleak.

According to my good friend Ted, who I only mocked out of love and friendship and Ted I’m sorry, we might not actually have to say goodbye just yet. Because Ted’s “open” to coming back.

The outspoken venture capitalist who took Facebook into the big-time is now on Team Trump, and will serve as a delegate for the campaign during the GOP convention this summer. This may not even be his worst idea.