Photo: AP

Some of Donald Trump’s former friends and acquaintances this week felt compelled to describe him as a business-and-family-oriented man who would never objectify a woman, which he of course would never do now that he’s courting Hillary’s voters. One particular argument to that effect, volunteered by Trump’s former attorney, is hauntingly bleak.

“I never heard him speak romantically about a woman,” Jay Goldberg, who worked as Trump’s lawyer in the nineties, tells the Washington Post. “I heard him speak romantically about his work.”

“Give him a Hershey’s bar and let him watch television... I only remember him finishing the day [by] going home, not necessarily with a woman but with a bag of candy... not Godiva, just something from the newsstand.”

Trump’s “The Art of the Comeback” co-author Kate Bohner also tells the paper Trump was just pretending to like certain things because it was good for business: “There were times when I’d see him chatting up a bevy of gorgeous creatures, and I can see how an outsider might think he was in it to win it, so to speak. But never did I feel that it was anything other than part of his shtick to fuel the Trump brand. I saw Mr. Trump being more paternal toward women than playboy.”

Doesn’t really matter much either way—he still acts like he wants to fuck women.