Widener University in Chester, PA has dug down deep to find tragedy within tragedy, an Inception of tragedy, for an art gallery exhibit opening this month. Here's what they came up with: There were twelve dogs on the Titanic. And nine of them died.

Knackered kerchiefed pooch tries to fend off early morning sleepies to little avail, but a staggering amount of cuteness.

Several costumed pugs perform Bone-Thugz-N-Harmony's "1st of tha Month." I usually have a fairly low tolerance for, you know, this kind of thing, but, come on. Bone-Pugz-n-Harmony! [via Harris Wittels]

In case you forgot amid all the terrible news, today is St. Patrick's Day. Here's a photo of Kate Middleton passing out shamrocks to the Irish Guards. The ceremony dates back to 1901, and this is the first year Kate had the honor — previously, the Queen Mother was on shamrock duty. Of course, the most important part of this photo is that Kate is greeting the Guards' mascot, an adorable Irish Wolfhound named Cornmeal.

A few weeks back, I posted a video of a large loitering group of Saint Bernard dogs. That day Louise, a nice lady in Oregon, saw the story, and thought it meant that she could buy a Saint Bernard puppy from me.

Last night, a horribly inbred beast called "Malachy" was named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. What is this thing? It is a...

A Pekingese named Malachy won Best in Show at the 136th Westminster Kennel Club dog show Tuesday night, beating out the breed of dog you have even though it's obvious that that breed is the one that should have won.

Last night, on the eve of New York Fashion Week, I attended Vice's 2012 Fashion Issue party. It's a Vice party -a doggy fashion show party, no less-so I expected the self-serious mob of ripped tights and v-neck shirts in the same way I expected the floppy-hat wearing doorgirl struggling to read from the VIP list. I even expected the promise of an open bar until midnight to mysteriously and abruptly end at 11. I had imagined Westminster meets Lincoln Center meets a sterilized petting zoo. What I got was the double-sided dildo scene from Requiem for a Dream.

"Adorable!" (Also potentially terrifying, but that is a matter of taste.) Happy Friday.

He knows just where to take that receipt.

It's like hey, dogs, we get it. You hate cats. Fine. We heard you the first time and the second time and the one millionth time, with the barking. Maybe you should bark at a cat again? No, you should shut up!

The conspiracy theories are happening so fast now that they're basically resolved before they even start, but let's not let this one escape the eternal clutches of the Gawker Archives: Did the Portuguese water dog Bo Obama — who's already been under heavy Christmas card scrutiny this week — fly out to Hawaii with Michelle Obama and the kids, and then fly back just to Washington for a photo-op with President Obama? Imagine the cost to taxpayers! Congress, please get back to town for a quickie impeachment.

You love your dog. Far more than your emotionally distant heart could ever love a human. And why not? Your dog never did anything but express an evolutionarily advantageous convincing simulacrum of love for you. You must show your love back. You must! But what to get Nibbles and Rocky this holiday season? Only the best.

A new report from The Trust for Public Land shows that although city parks in America only increased by 3% in the past five years, dog parks in American cities increased by 34% during that same period.

Your entrancing YouTube ephemera of the day: A doggie disco from the late '70s, rescued from obscurity by the folks at Crazy Dave Tape. In a YouTube comment, the CDT crew says it's from an episode of The Chevy Chase Show. [YouTube via @JuliaKlausner]

Lest there be any doubt that the purse dogs of Manhattan lead more glamorous lives than you do, check out this description of the "luxury dog run" planned for the upcoming $6.5 million renovation of TriBeCa's Hudson River Park:

Less than 24 hours after making its debut alongside a Manhattan highway, Wodka vodka's anti-Semiticky billboard has been pulled down and converted into a "crumpled heap near the road," the New York Times reports. Now how will sophisticated dogs learn about America's hottest cheap-as-the-Jews spirit?

An alert reader sends us this photo of a Wodka™ brand Vodka billboard located on the West side of Manhattan, overlooking Riverside Drive. "CHRISTMAS QUALITY. HANUKKAH PRICING," it says. And there's a Santa dog, representing Christian quality, and a Jew dog, representing Hanukkah pricing, because the Jews are cheap—like Wodka™!

Acupuncture kids! Stem cells! Text bullies! Boundary effect! Pig drugs! Tainted jerky! Elderly pain! Light brains! And the super Greek diet that will save us all! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—pointedly!

Denver Mayor Michael Hancock insisted that his city's occupation name a leader in order "to deal with City and State officials." And he got his wish! Occupy Denver has elected Shelby, a border collie, as its leader. Long live Shelby!