dogs

What Will You Put in Your Space Garden?

Hamilton Nolan · 11/08/11 06:06PM

Dog evolution! Stroke surgery! Baby okapi! Computer hearts! Fast fish! Space gardens! Parkinson's treatment! Anthrax vaccine! And America loses the Red planet to the Reds! It's your Tuesday Science Watch, where we watch science—nobly!

Stephen Colbert's Pet-Friendly Economic Fix for America

Matt Cherette · 11/03/11 12:17AM

Even though the cost of having a pet in the U.S. is skyrocketing, Americans aren't abandoning their cute little companions. In fact, many pets are now living more comfortably than unemployed humans and on tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert proposed a pretty unique solution to the financial problems plaguing so many Americans: If you can't beat the pets, be the pets.

It's Time to Stop Dressing Up Your Pets for Halloween

Leah Beckmann · 10/27/11 03:21PM

According to Wendy Williams and this other lady whose parents must be very proud of her for becoming a "pet fashion stylist," it is very trendy and important to dress your dog up for Halloween because there are a lot of events you both should be attending.

Dude: Cop Slapped My Dog

Hamilton Nolan · 10/24/11 08:31AM

What would cause a heartless jack-booted armed thug cop to heartlessly slap a tiny little bitty dog? (What!) A wee little Pomeranian mix, slapped out of a third story window? (No!) A tiny sweet little pet trying to protect his precious family, only to be heartlessly—heartlessly—slapped, by a cop, out of a window, falling three stories, its tiny body twisting as it plummeted to the hard, heartless ground below? (I never!) Outrageous!

Your Fascination With Your Dog Is an Embarrassment (To You)

Hamilton Nolan · 10/14/11 11:57AM

Let's say you're a woman who's worked hard, climbed the ladder, and risen to the very pinnacle of your profession—a historic achievement. You're taken seriously as a writer, a thinker, and a boss; you alone have the power to set the agenda for how many of our most important issues are covered by the national and international media. You have made it. Why—hypothetically speaking—would you not shut up about your stupid dog?

French Bulldogs Suffer Airline Dogscrimination

Hamilton Nolan · 10/07/11 08:31AM

Here's an interesting little "factoid," meaning "discriminatory outrage of Apartheid proportions:" in the year 2011 in the world's most free country (USA), many airlines do not allow bulldogs to fly. I mean, sure, those six bulldogs were indicted in connection with the 9/11 plot, but let's not paint the rest of them with such a broad brush, okay?

Woman Upset That Six Flags Rescued Her Dog From Her Hot Car, Then Lost Him

Seth Abramovitch · 09/13/11 02:20AM

Meet Shalanon Brooks, the kind of functionally retarded person you encounter frequently in Southern California. Shalanon is the owner of a Pomeranian whom she named "Malibu." (See first sentence.) She didn't just buy Malibu, but was actually prescribed Malibu for "emotional support." (See first sentence again.) Shalanon went to spend a day riding roller coasters at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but when she realized the strap of her Louis Vuitton dog carrying-case had broken, she opted to leave Malibu in her car with the windows cracked open and some water and food. (See— Enh. You know the drill by now.)

Dogs Can Smell Lung Cancer

Seth Abramovitch · 08/19/11 02:35AM

Lung cancer, a notoriously hard-to-diagnose and deadly disease, has a new enemy: dogs! German researchers have discovered that they can actually smell it on your breath.

South Korean Scientists Clone Glowing Dog

Max Read · 07/30/11 03:40PM

You'd think that the successful breeding of a dog that glows under ultraviolet light would be, more or less, the successful completion of science. Why bother doing anything else, now that you made a dog glow? But no! Apparently this dog actually furthers, rather than completes, scientific endeavor:

Alexander McQueen Left $82,000 to His Dogs

Seth Abramovitch · 07/27/11 01:01AM

Fashion designer Alexander McQueen, who committed suicide in February 2010, designated 50,000 pounds ($82,000) towards the care of his three dogs — Minter, Juice, and Callum, pictured — according to the will made public on Tuesday.

Internet Addiction Just as Bad as Real Addiction, But Not Cool

Hamilton Nolan · 07/25/11 04:24PM

Fertile China! Psychic dogs! Killer papaya! ADHD safety! Internet addiction! Breastfeeding asthma! Shrinking brains! Love psychology! And uncalled-for lizard posing! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—out of sheer desperation!

Chihuahua Humiliates Smoke Shop Robbers

Jeff Neumann · 07/19/11 04:15AM

So it turns out that yappy little accessory dogs actually might be good for something! In today's wacky animal video, security camera footage from Ace Smoke Shop in Altadena, California shows armed robbers being chased out of the store by the shop owner's raging Chihuahua. The robbers did manage to make off with some cash, but the LA Times notes that it was "less money than they could've gotten."

Swedish Police Have a Sperm-Sniffing Dog

Jeff Neumann · 07/18/11 06:27AM

Police in southern Sweden have a new tool for fighting sex crimes — a dog named Rapports Opus that is trained to sniff out sperm at crime scenes. According to English-language newspaper The Local, police in the town of Karlskrona have arrested a 23-year-old man and charged him with rape after Rapports Opus was brought to a park in the town where a woman was sexually assaulted: