To all you naysayers out there who always insisted that David Spade would never find a nice girl, settle down, and fall right into life as a loving new dad, time to start eating some crow: Spade has accidentally impregnated a Playboy Playmate. So there!

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw Pauly Shore awkwardly engage Francis Ford Coppola in conversation at a Vegas nightclub.

A crestfallen David Spade left Hollywood hot spot Coco de Ville after being mistaken for daytime talk show host Ellen DeGeneres ... again. While waiting for a drink at the bar, Spade was tapped on a shoulder by a woman and was told that the woman just loves her talk show and think it's really great that she's going to marry Portia De Rossi ("You've got to lock that down"). When the Rules Of Engagement star turned around, the woman's face turned bright red and she quickly apologized. After the incident, Spade held a mini conference with his amigos about creating a new look; Spade said, "It was okay when I used to get mistaken for a Hanson Brother or Owen Wilson or a Boz Scaggs roadie, but this Ellen comparison is happening too often."

You can bet the always-elegant Oscar de la Renta will be especially well-dressed today: He turns 76. Other people celebrating: Actor Willem Dafoe is 53. Comedian John Leguizamo is turning 44, as is David Spade. Crooner Rufus Wainwright is 35. Literary queen Ann Godoff is 59. So is union leader Mike Fishman. Advertising honcho John Wren turns 56. And Danny Glover is 62.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw some girl "all over" David Spade at the movies.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week (depending on volume), so send them in early and often—without them, we'll surely be forced to endure another Pellicano trial! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you heard David Spade drop a bevy of F-bombs in front of toddlers at Koi.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time Andy Dick asked if he could Adrian the Grenier out of you.

Right off the bat, let's get something straight. We are ALL for pre-marital sex. In fact, if pre-marital sex didn't exist, well ... we don't even want to think about a world where pre-marital sex doesn't exist. But really (and we ask this out of curiousity more than anything else), does anyone else find Hollywood's recent spate of high profile out-of-wedlock baby announcements the least bit peculiar? We know the WGA strike has freed up a lot of time for a lot of us, but that doesn't explain why notoriously toxic bachelors like David Spade and Matthew McConaughey decided to throw caution (and their condoms) to the wind. So then, what can we attribute this (sorta joyous!) news to? As with most of ills permeating our society these days, we're gonna place the blame squarely on the shoulders of Juno.

· Comedy Central decides not to renew The Showbiz Show for a fourth season, officially freeing David Spade from the conflict-inviting hosting duties that sometimes put him in the uncomfortable position of having to use puppets to explain how Heather Locklear's marriage was already over by the time he was banging her. [Variety]
· APA signs Graham Greene, Chris Kattan and Heather Matarazzo, a trio of "gets" that should help the agency to finally put the days of having to endure dismissive "Who the fuck invited APA?!" jokes on Entourage behind them. [THR]
· Pushing Daisies—which we enjoyed quite a bit despite the crushing hype—posts the best debut numbers of any new 8 pm timeslot show this season. (Can't ABC just funnel the entire Cavemen budget into Daises to keep that expensive, Burtonesque look?) Meanwhile, NBC's Bionic Woman pumps-and-dumps, falling off 30 percent from its first-week ratings. [Variety]
· Ehren Kruger joins Alex Kurtzman and Robert Orci in writing the screenplay that director Michael Bay will use as a rough guide for where to place his giant fucking robots on Transformers 2. [THR]
· DreamWorks is wisely trying to keep their Norbit dream team of Eddie Murphy and critic-proof producer Brain Robbins intact, entering final negotiations to reunite them for the comedy A Thousand Words, the story of a guy who "only has 1,000 words left to speak before he dies." [Variety]

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so them in often. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Wentworth Miller leaving his prison blueprints tattoo behind in the YMCA pool.

Hollywood-based homeless advocacy group TMZ.com has video footage documenting sitcom sidekick and Showbiz Show host David Spade in a paparazzi-induced act of charity, in which the actor handed over a ten-dollar bill to a panhandler as he entered a Taco Bell. Unfortunately, when the recipient of Spade's largesse realized he'd been given a mere ten bucks, he quickly returned the money to Spade, explaining that he was unwilling to accept a payment below the Homeless Guild standard rate of $100 for opportunistic fast-food parking lot photo shoots established by noted local philanthrotard Paris Hilton at a nearby McDonald's back in September.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them often—but please pull over if you plan on Blackberrying them from the road. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you saw David "Dookie Drawers" Spade having brunch.

Like so many struggling actresses seeking parts as "Big Breasted Girl in Elevator" in Adam Sandler comedies, it seems that Comedy Central has finally succumbed to David Spade's floppy-haired charms. They've signed up his Showbiz Show for a third go-around a full two months earlier than its second-season renewal, giving the comedian another 13 weeks to tie Hollywood to his bedpost and tickle it until it threatens to pee all over his silk, tiger-print sheets. A proud network programming executive sings Showbiz's praises on this special day:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are now posted several times a week—so start sending them in more often! Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and let everyone know about the time you heard the voice of Roger Rabbit bringing some laughter and light to the lives of the downtrodden patrons of a Starbucks in the Valley.

We asked for more PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings, and you came through! Keep them coming to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line) and update us on the most recent fluctuations of Val Kilmer's magical, morphing belly.

· At the upfronts, Les Moonves refers to trophy wife Julie Chen as his "peacock." Given his legendarily sadistic relationship with NBC, we think this gives us a pretty disturbing window into their marital relations.
· Lesser Baldwin brother Daniel could face 18 months in prison if convicted on cocaine charges. Adding insult to injury, his attorney told him that if he were Alec, he could get it down to 15 hours of community service and a "The More You Know" PSA on NBC.
· Once Heather Locklear finally snapped out of her divorce-induced haze and realized she was dating David Spade, the relationship was over just as quickly as she could order her assistant to text him and break the bad news.
· Reporter sets his phaser to lazy.

An operative submits this David Spade sighting from last night, in which Spade, who so memorably defended his budding relationship with Heather Locklear from accusations of adulterous naughty-making via cardboard puppet theater last week on The Showbiz Show, was spied chatting up a suspiciously non-Locklear female:

• David Spade Dragged Into Sheen-Richards Crap-Flinging [Defamer]

In an item that we're not at all suspicious was planted by a publicist trying to build buzz in the couple of weeks leading up to The Showbiz Show's second season premiere, Rush & Molloy report that host David Spade's on-air digs at Jennifer Aniston have angered both ex-husband Brad Pitt and current tabloid partner Vince Vaughn:

Early this morning, Comedy Central issued a press release announcing a second season of The Showbiz Show with David Spade. The reaction all over Hollywood, now on "high alert," has been predictable and disastrous, and one needs only to throw open the nearest window to watch the terrified citizenry running through the streets, yanking out their hair by the roots as they desperately search for the scarce armor-plated underthings that might—just might—prevent the show's sphincter-rending host from "tearing them a new one" with his drowsy, joyless recitations of Telepromptered copy. Clasp your hands over your ears and prevent further hearing loss from the air-raid sirens sounded by this excerpt from the press release, complete with typically hilarious Spade commentary: