Cardozo Law School has just wrapped up a three-day program on the Nuremberg trials, including a panel discussion featuring none other than world-renowned Nuremberg expert Alec Baldwin. A lucky attendee writes in:

Arianna Huffington, the liberal-come-lately pundit best known for her, um, accent, is launching an online webzine:

· Naomi Campbell allegedly continues her assistant-abusing rampage in Rio, this time slapping a young servant while simultaneously using her Blackberry to beat the girl. Can't fault the woman for multitasking. [Page Six]
· The Olsens are selling off their West Village penthouse for $11 million — quite a high price, considering the two never even moved in. [R&M (2nd item)]
· Is there trouble in Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's Red Bull-drenched paradise? Federline reportedly spent the weekend in the company of a Vegas "escort," who may or may not be carrying his baby. It seems that everyone is these days, so it's a fair guess. [Page Six]
· Rapper ODB may be gone, but his mother will sue on. Her target is AGU Entertainment, who is allegedly using the deceased's name to promote a Jackass-style video. [Lowdown]

When Apprentice cast-off Omarosa is allowed to RETURN to reality television, we think the genre might have finally hit rock bottom:

Aside from benefiting the media, whose coverage of every single minute of Terri Schiavo's drawn-out death keeps their content breathelessly packed, what good can come from the feeding tube debate? Wall Street knows:

Dear Kindly Gossip Monkeys,

The casting notice is already out to Denzel Washington's agent.

· Theory uper tar Slavoj i ek and his exy new bride. The wedding theme was Hitchcock; the band was Flaming Lip . [The Wrong Side of Capitalism]
· Is there no such thing as Napster for course packs? [Stay Free]
· Andrew Hearst thinks deep thoughts about The Container Store. [Panopticist]
· Apparently students actually get laid at Yale. [ABC News]

Defamer is committed to helping the well-off, but as-yet obscure, sons and daughters of Los Angeles achieve fame for no reason other than their boredom-induced lust for attention. To that end, we share a pitch from a local publicity-enabling technician that landed in our inbox moments ago:

· New Yorker pop music critic Sasha Frere Jones moderates a panel at Columbia's J-School on — you guessed it — blogs, featuring editors from Rolling Stone, Fader, and a member of TV on the Radio. Good to see those big tuition dollars are being spent to keep students on the techological up and up. [flavorpill]
· There's another tsunami on the way and the kiddos in Darfur keep on dying, but Tonic has recouped 90% of the money they need to stay afloat. Yay! Yo La Tengo perform tonight to help 'em make that last push. [Tonic]
· In case you missed 'em last week, What's Up NYC tells us that newest British "it" band, the Kaiser Chiefs, perform at the Spin magazine office tonight at 6:30. They also tell us that RSVP-ing is necessary. They do not, however, tell us where to send said RSVP. We're sure you'll find a way around this problem. [WUNY]

Sometimes, Lonely Planet just doesn't give would-be tourists the NYC insight they need to "blend" and not wander about "amorously." Thankfully, there's the internet and southern belles with marginal html skills to pick up the slack. Their tips for visiting New York include wearing a black winter coat, avoiding the MAC counter at Bendel's, and not trying to pick up a hetero man in Chelsea. Wise insights, indeed. As for the "hot spots" for NYC nightlife:

Yet another sign that your inclusive spiritual inspiration society is losing its heat: A movie studio is willing to spend 100K to erase its vestiges from your movie. MSNBC's Jeanette Walls reports that test audiences were so turned off by Ashton Kutcher's red string Kabbalah bracelet that Sony digitally removed it from the final cut of Guess Who. While this anecdote is certainly amusing, it's revealed a crucial weakness in the evil eye force-field that the bracelet supposedly provides. It seems that the string's bad-mojo-deflecting properties are dissipated by film, so the next you have a negative thought about a celebrity Kabbalist, make sure you focus that energy on a photographic image of them—if you give them the evil eye in person, it will likely just bounce off and strike a nearby Christian or (actual) Jew.

If you've had your fill of demeaning, thankless assistant jobs in the entertainment industry, this Craiglist poster, an incredibly generous "entertainment executive," is ready to inject new life into your career:

From NYU's Washington Square News comes word of new measures designed to keep students alive:

· Test audiences reacted poorly to the sight of Ashton Kutcher's red string Kabbalah bracelet, so the movie company spent $100k having the string digitally erased. Yahweh forbid they just make Kutcher take the damn thing off before shooting. [Scoop]
· Cynthia Nixon swallows her pride and cracks lesbian jokes at Sarah Jessica Parker's birthday party. [R&M (2nd to last)]
· The Times uses its op-ed page to promote the Red Sox Nation, in which it has a vested interest. [Page Six]
· Jennifer Lopez's publicist keeps PETA's full-page ad criticizing the singer/actress/designer out of the pages of Billboard. Don't worry, we're sure J.Lo will fire her for something soon enough. [Lowdown]

· CNN's go-to black man for pop culture, Touré, on his new bride: "She's somebody who can go with me from a 50 Cent concert to a Toni Morrison reading and be equally comfortable in both places." We should all be so lucky. [NYT]
· Does Corcoran realty know we're on to them? Brownstoner reports that the group is now cutting list prices. We'd be confused, but we still can't afford anything anyhow. [Brownstoner]
· Like you'd rather buy your anal douche at Duane Reade? [Mister Snitch]
· Does your publication need a "girl on the street" for the style pages? Try Kay Goldberg; everyone else seems to be using her — which leads us to ask, who's her publicist? [Teen Vogue and NYM]

How the mighty have fallen. Back in the day, Madonna would only be caught dead in a nun's habit if she had splashed blood all over the crotch and stapled half a baby doll to it, with some stigmata on her hands for good, if somewhat symbolically suspect, measure. Now she's been reduced to showing up at Kabbalah costume parties in a half-hearted nod to her publicity-mongering roots. Sad. Maybe Guy Ritchie's got an altar boy strapped to an inflatable phallus that looks like the Pope's hat? Please? We desperately need something to believe in.

How do you know that your inclusive spiritual inspiration society (read: cult) might be losing its heat? Its expensive, sacred texts are winding up on eBay at a fraction of their original cost. An eBay store on Beverly Blvd has this online listing for a previously-owned ("All of the books in the set are in good condition, with no underlining or tampering with any of the pages. The bindings are all in very good condition.") edition of the Zohar, Kabbalah's magical tome. With a current bid of $86 against its full retail price of $415, you can't afford to pass up this bargain. As cynical enemies of light, we can't confirm the claim that merely having the Zohar in your studio apartment will be good for landing at least three auditions a month, but what are you going to spend the money on otherwise, some weed and a bag of Fritos? Yeah, we thought so. See you at the Centre with your smart, attractively leather-bound God receptacles.

· Have the sneaking suspicion that corporate America is stealing your soul? Well, duh. Get further proof for your pudding at tonight's panel of media analysts and advertising bigwigs at the Kimmel Center, hosted by Douglas Rushkoff and inspired by his PBS piece The Persuaders. Be sure to start a revolution afterwards, you commie. [flavorpill]
· You're pretty much the only without tickets to tonight's sold-out Walkmen show with Ben Kweller, but, if you're willing to sell your hymen on Craigslist, you can probably still join in the sweeping, angsty fun. [Irving]
· Tonight marks the 16th annual GLAAD Media Awards, aka "The Gay Oscars," which honors just about everyone who's made the world a little bit better for CNN anchors. [TONY]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.