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Defamer is committed to helping the well-off, but as-yet obscure, sons and daughters of Los Angeles achieve fame for no reason other than their boredom-induced lust for attention. To that end, we share a pitch from a local publicity-enabling technician that landed in our inbox moments ago:

Hi I represent three rapidly-growing socialites, [redacted], [redacted] and [redacted], all who live in Los Angeles. [Redacted] is actually [redacted celebrity name]'s son, while [redacted] and [redacted] come from extremely prominent LA families. [Redacted] himself is actually a co-creator and producer of the show, [redacted].

The three have been photographed a lot lately and have been appearing at major events in the past few months. However, I'm trying to boost their exposure. That is where you come in. Is there anyway you can help me set up a photo opportunity or something of that kind. Thanks so much. Hope to hear from you soon.

Oh, it looks like the names of these plucky go-getters have been accidentally redacted. We regret the error, and we promise to adjust the settings on our publicity-whore filtering software right away. In the meantime, we'll offer a tip to get the kids and their humble adviser started: If you want to get famous, we think the path has been well-established by the ennui-riddled, indigent heirs and heiresses that have come before you: Get a fake ID and vomit on Tara Reid's shoes outside the Spider Club, leak a sex tape onto the internet, and kill your parents. Good luck, kids! Your MTV show awaits.