Kabbalah On The Wane: Ashton Kutcher's Bracelet Removal
Yet another sign that your inclusive spiritual inspiration society is losing its heat: A movie studio is willing to spend 100K to erase its vestiges from your movie. MSNBC's Jeanette Walls reports that test audiences were so turned off by Ashton Kutcher's red string Kabbalah bracelet that Sony digitally removed it from the final cut of Guess Who. While this anecdote is certainly amusing, it's revealed a crucial weakness in the evil eye force-field that the bracelet supposedly provides. It seems that the string's bad-mojo-deflecting properties are dissipated by film, so the next you have a negative thought about a celebrity Kabbalist, make sure you focus that energy on a photographic image of them—if you give them the evil eye in person, it will likely just bounce off and strike a nearby Christian or (actual) Jew.