· This week's winner of our creative music promotion award is Mr. 50 Cent, whose homies shot up the homies of another rapper named The Game while 50 Cent gave a radio interview dissing The Game. Follow that? No? Doesn't matter. [NYT]
· The saga of Evelyn the Food Whore continues and grows ever more detailed. We're not sure if she exists but if she does: Evelyn, email us. We want to talk. [Craigslist]
· Sure, you were once an intern (or maybe you still are one now, sucka) — but did Annie Liebovitz pour hot coffee on your Balenciaga bag when you fucked up at the fax machine? Thought not. Point: Olsens. [MTV]
· Still not sure how to react to the Gates? A handy guide. [Mister Snitch]
· Jada Smith pisses off oversensitive Harvard kids by not catering to three-fingered misfit clowns; whiny students continue to deserve a solid ass-kicking. [The Crimson]

We knew Brooklyn was hot, but this is ridiculous. According to The Los Angeles Times, one not so cool (ha ha) side effect of having a fabulous, shiny Frank Gehry building in your neighborhood is "baked" neighbors. As Jack Leonard and Natasha Lee report on the Gehry-designed Disney Concert Hall in LA:

An operative files this report from the premiere of Vin Diesel's attempt at a kiddie franchise, The Pacifier. (And here we thought that after Kindergarten Cop, we'd never again experience the magic of someone who struggles with the English language chasing after children.) Unfortunately for our mole, the after-party was predictably a bad scene for getting drunk and/or laid, though we think the bounce castle was clearly a missed opportunity:

· Dave Eggers-substitute David Rakoff and This American Life contributer Sarah Vowell faceoff against former collegiate cult rock duo They Might Be Giants in the latest installment of McSweeney's vs. TMBG. Somewhere, Tupac and Biggie are watching, totally riveted. [Playbill]
· And the last wave (pun intended, because laughter heals) of tsunami aid trickles in: New York rock mainstay The Fever join some other Brooklyn bands at Crash Mansion on behalf of the Friends of Koh Lanta Fund. [flavorpill]
· If there was ever a reason to tolerate Joan Rivers and her melty face, it would be for charity. She provides exactly that reason (God's Love We Deliver and Guide Dogs for the Blind) at Fez tonight. After today, we promise to never again list a charity event today. We're feeling a little icky. [Fez]

Today the world learned that freshly separated Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were reportedly locking lips at an Oscar Party over the weekend — then we immediately blacked out from the shock.

One executive at Craig's List is clearly not satisfied with leaving the classified revenue of the nation's beleaguered alt-weeklies in the dust: now he wants to burst free of the earth altogether.

Sometimes our email says the darndest things. For instance, this morning our inbox told us it had a copy of a LexisNexis request from Fabian Basabe. Why in the world would Fabian want to use some big ugly tool like LexisNexis? Oh, to look for his own name, of course!

· Star Jones is worried that her "fans" (or, more likely, her husband) will confuse her with drag queen Flotilla DeBarge, who has been hired by PETA to impersonate the fur-loving beastwoman. Jones has her lawyers on this one, but when you're actually concerned that you look too much like a drag queen, you might want to redirect your anger inward. [Page Six]
· Brace yourselves: Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were spotted KISSING at CAA agent Bryan Lourd's Oscar party. There's hope for us yet! [R&M (3rd item)]
· Lloyd Grove and Hud Morgan do their best to resurrect the pertinence of rapper Foxy Brown, one column at a time. [Lowdown]
· Kimora Lee Simmons will "beat your ass" if you go near her withered husband, Russell. [Page Six]
· But what Vin Diesel really wants is to direct. [Scoop]

We tend to shy away from child molesters, but now that the Michael Jackson trial is underway, we can no longer ignore the media circus and all of the multi-faceted stories oozing forth. Today s top news:

Earlier, I confessed my love for hipster scientist Sam Gosling. As it turns out, I am not alone. A reader, also fond of the Gos, sends word:

It may not pay as much as a Levi's ad, but this Craig's List casting call has 'blogger' written all over it:

· Everything you ever wanted to know about Andy Warhol but were afraid to ask because people would mock you for being totally uncool: Kenneth Goldsmith, editor of a newly published collection of Warhol interviews, chats with some Warhol biographers and Factory photographer Billy Name at the Kitchen tonight. [flavorpill]
· The man behind French Laundry and Per Se—Thomas Keller—chats with culinary historian Alexandra Leaf tonight at the 92nd Street Y. It'll be sold out by the time you read this, but if you tried, we're pretty sure you could kick Frank Bruni's ass out of his front-row seat. In fact, we encourage it! [92Y]
· For the low price of $39.50 (if you can still swing a ticket), you too can join the masses at Radio City tonight for the Interpol/Blonde Redhead show. Let us know how that goes. [RadioCity]

Mediabistro founder Laurel Touby and EIC Elizabeth Spiers hold ArtReview's Daniel Kunitz hostage.

Ladies and Gays, meet Dr. Samuel Gosling, a psychologist at the University of Texas. (I'm guessing Austin — I mean, c'mon, that hair ain't from San Antonio, know what I mean?) Dr. Gosling has been studying animal personalities in an effort to understand human personalities and, in the meantime, has been cultivating a hipster-friendly look. He's just like Demitri Martin, but with more degrees. Isn't he cute?! Know what's even cuter? He works with hyenas! I LOVE hyenas. Don't you love hyenas? I love hyenas.

Forced to share an elevator at the Roosevelt Hotel on Sunday morning with two of Los Angeles' finest, a fearless readers sends us a transcript of the most riveting sort:

· Amy Sacco may want her A-list patrons to feel at home at Bungalow 8, but pity those who live in the London Terrace Towers, where Sacco's new restaurant Bette is being constructed — a gas leak in Bette has forced some residents to rip apart their kitchens in order to replace gas pipes. [Page Six]
· The Oscar after-party report: everyone is fabulous, and you're not. [Lowdown]
· Do try to stop by the Times Square Virgin Records today — Jennifer Lopez will be signing copies of her new album, and PETA will be staging "Phase One" of a massive campaign launched against the furry singer. Expect lots of screaming and horrifying videos! Free red paint for everyone! [Scoop]
· Tom Cruise stops in at the Vanity Fair bash to say hello to former beard Penelope Cruz. [R&M]
· Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will soon be reunited, as the two will have to do some reshoots on their upcoming film, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Which means lots of celebrity weekly insinuation to come! Hurrah! [Page Six]

Despite the fact that a hacked Sidekick resulted in the spread-eagled display of Paris Hilton's disturbingly personal information, T-Mobile stores in New York are selling out of the Sidekick II. Which is kind of amazing, actually. As our geeky brother put it, people are "now aware that they can take pictures, write emails and make out with bisexual VJs." And you can also make everyone in the world hate you, but we don't think T-Mobile will incorporate that into whatever new campaign they spin out of this debacle. Our point is: Don't ever doubt the marketing-whore geniusitude of Paris. Did we mention her new movie House of Wax is coming out soon?
Hilton Hack Boosts T-Mo Sales [Gizmodo]

· Is it just us, or is this letter from MarthaStewart.com editor in chief Margaret Roach a little, um, off? "'Now, first things first,' I can hear Martha saying as I write this..." [Martha Stewart]
· Tom Shales calls Chris Rock's Oscar stint "strangely lame and mean-spirited." Well, Rock is rubber and Tom is glue... [WaPo]
· Michael Musto of the Voice tries his hand at play-by-play Oscar coverage under the title Million Dollar Dead Baby. Adorable! [VV]
· We're hearing that Friday' gay reporter in need of love might be Family Circle's Glenn Plaskin. Can we get a confirmation up in here?

Because we live to serve, Gawker is doing its part to help Kelly Womack spread the word about her address change. Oh, like you don't know Kelly Womack? You weren't one of the hundreds of strangers who received the 411 email? Get with the program, Debbie — she's one of Lizzie Grubman's girls, so you best be updating your address book:

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