Every D of the W, we stop to look at good comments. Today we are so mesmerized by the fancy new iPad that we can't focus on anything else. So here are our favorite Pad-related comments of the day.

Five Seven! days a week we give out citations to comments we've enjoyed — funny ones, helpful ones, even ones with chickenpox. On this dreary-turned-sunny day, we're trying something new. Two winners.

Richard thinks I hate all of you. He's a LIAR. So I made my own meaningless superlative you can win: The C.O.C.K. Award! Anyway, we came up with tags for Brangelina's maybe breakup. Some were good. But one was superamazing.

Richard thinks I hate all of you. That's not true! Just...most of you. So I made my own meaningless superlative you can win: The C.O.C.K. Award! Anyway, somebody had something good to say. It was about The Jews. Naturally.

Once every day (Monday - Friday, because Foster hates you) we bestow a comment with the title of Best of the Day. For humor or wisdom or, in today's case, good blind item detective work that yields... sexy results.

Once daily we suspend our rabid and filthy gossiping to do the Lord's work: Recognizing one silly comment amidst a sea of silly comments so that we may all be sillier, and thus feel closer to space-god. Today: Poetry!

Every day we pick a comment for special recognition — for its wit, its insight, or its emotion. While there were many good political comments today, we've had enough of that awful mess. So let's talk about celebrities! And dreams.

Once a day we like to take a second to point out a comment that we found especially funny, interesting, or (maybe someday) uplifting. Today we get a reaction to Haiti and big bad Republicans.

Once a day we like to take the time to point out a comment that we found particularly lulz-worthy, servicey, or just plain innerestin'. Today our favorite falls distinctly in the lulz category, dark and mean but also funny.

We have no special guests this week, but that doesn't mean this live blog won't be full of special guests, like you. And we won't get a Snooki punch, but we'll get a ShamWOWW punch. And it's two hours!

Who cares about Snooki puncrhers, ham munchers, and repeated ab crunchers? Inject your reality television viewing with a bit of class thanks to Heidi, Tim, and a new cast of designers vying for the title of World's best sewer?

Once daily we highlight a comment that we find particularly funny, informative, or otherwise enjoyable. As today was a special day here at Gawker HQ in Nolita, we've decided to honor our guest intern, Real Housewife Jill Zarin!

Everyday we endeavor to highlight a single comment that is wise or witty or whatever. We're a bit too stupefied by the cruel whims of the natural world to read a long comment today, so here's a short one from sassypants:

Every day we take a moment to recognize a comment (or in this case comments) that deserves a little extra attention. For humor, for insight, for whatever, basically. Today's co-winners are scroll_lock and lobstr.

Just because the ball is going to drop for 2010 doesn't mean we can drop the ball on documenting every single second of the sociological experiment of Jersey Shore. We will never forget these new acquaintances. Let's learn more!

We've unwrapped each of your terrible tales of yuletide terror like a little gifts and we wouldn't return any of them. Our stocking was suitably full of familial dysfunction, but only one of your tales can be our favorite.

Meg Whitman would like to be governor of California, but the former eBay CEO should demonstrate she can govern her own website first: The commenters on MegWhitman.com are in open revolt. It's brutal.

Some people really hate MTV's new reality show masterpiece theater of eight crazy kids sharing a beach house. We like it so much, we want you to watch it with us. Come on in. We made ham!

You've seen the trailer, you've read the controversy, and you've met the cast, now set your dial and get out your laptop. It's time to live blog the premiere of Jersey Shore.

Thanks to all of our lovely, scarred, dysfunctional, boozy, bad-cooking readers, we were more full of Thanksgiving Horror Stories than a Macy's parade balloon is full of helium. We selected the best (or is it worst?) and crowned a winner.