Five Seven! days a week we give out citations to comments we've enjoyed — funny ones, helpful ones, even ones with chickenpox. On this dreary-turned-sunny day, we're trying something new. Two winners.

Consider these nominations for an end-of-the-week Commies ceremony, weekly commenter awards we haven't given out in over a year. The more the merrier, and competitiver, right?

Today's prizes go to...

Spirit Fingers, who gave us some sound advice in The Rules for Calling Out Sick:

The absolute key to taking a sick day is taking two.

Some manager at some point in my working career said, "If you're sick enough to take a sick day, you'd better be sick enough to take two." And by God his theory actually works.

No one believes that on Thursday you suddenly fell sooo ill you could barely dial the phone, but yet on Wednesday you were seen laughing like a glue-snorting hyena after your buddy in production sent you an action motion pic of the company tight-ass fellating a fax machine, to then have the audacity to return on Friday barely eeking out a weak-throated semi-cough, but ostensibly appearing with undeniable "fun for me and fuck you" crumbs mashed in the corner of your mouth. Naw, if you're calling out, you better do it with flair, sound like the second coming of the plague has infested your body, and perfect your waxy, depleted, "I spent two days vomiting my shoes" look once you return. Just limit it to two days, though, kids. If you go for three you'll need a doc note.

The other winner is a silly jokester named Scotland, who yukked in Thanks, But We Don't Want a Mel Gibson Comeback:

Did anyone else think that Mel Gibson's remake of the 'Life of Brian' wasn't nearly as funny as the original?

Yay, Life of Brian!

So there you go. Two m'fing comments. By week's end we'll have a whole fleet of good'uns to winnow down to five. AWARDS SEASON MADNESS.