· Two takes on the ubiquitous Mr. Jonathan Livingston Safran Seagull Foer: The Times' 'Boldface' boosts him up; Freelance lit assassin William Georgiadis in The Post tears him down. [NYT; NYP]
· FOX 411's Roger Friedman offers a heartfelt two sentence tribute to Saul Bellow. Had Bellow lived ten more years, he might've earned another sentence fragment. [FOXNews]
· Michelle Malkin to begin boycotting Taco Bell. [NYT]
· Slate senior content producer Jacob Weisberg really must like Kazuo Ishiguro's new novel. First he lauded it for the waning queen bee of buzz, then he commissioned Margaret Atwood to endorse it. We don't read books, so we'll take his word for it. [Topic A; Slate]

· We checked the date on this thing twice to make sure it wasn't another April Fool's prank: Is Jeff Gannon/James Guckert really Johnny Gosch, an Iowa boy who was kidnapped in 1982 by a "child pedophlia ring"? (As opposed to those geriatric pedophilia rings.) This is shaping up to be the most amazing TV movie LoGo ever hasn't made yet. [Des Moines Register]
· Elizabeth Spiers, founding editor of this website and current editor-in-chief of Mediabistro, looks at the end of Joyce Wadler's 'Boldface Names' tenure at The Times. [Salon]
· From the genius who brought you Jonathan Franzen-as-Charlie Brown comes 'The Adventures of Lethem and Chabon.' Or, as Ayelet Waldman calls it "My beautiful, wonderful husband and some other guy." [Book Lust, via Maud Newton]
· Al Gore unveils his new cable network and internet presence. And thank god! We have a whole file of jokes about how boring Gore is that have been collecting dust. We keep it... in... a lock box. See? [SF Chronicle]

· Ben McGrath referees as The New Yorker sullies itself with the Post/News public Jell-O wrestling match. [NYer]
· Jonathan Mahler looks at Rupert Murdoch, "a thick, sad-eyed, harried-looking fellow with an outsize head and furry eyebrows, more day laborer than press lord," and his most beloved plaything, The New York Post. [NYM]
· From the paper that brought you Bridget Harrison, a cry that celebrities reveal "TOO MUCH INFO" on their blogs. [NYP]
· What if Malcolm Gladwell wrote about you and you had no idea? [Straight Up]

· Linda Stasi thinks Pat O'Brien lost his credibility. That is not a misprint. [NYP]
· Turmoil at Ms. Magazine. Our mom was the same way when she got to middle age: hot flashes, mood swings, dubious hairstyle choices. She's cool now, though. [NYO]
· Even we're not hacky enough to write fake titles for Mary Cheney's book. Okay, fine: The South Butch Diet. Happy, assholes? [Crains]
· Can't a writer just make things up anymore? Hunter S. Thompson is rolling over in his cannon as we speak. [E&P]

· McDonald's paying for hip hop product placements. Ice Cube is probably kicking himself right about now. [Business Week Online]
· Jan Herman thinks Paul Krugman "says in the mainstream media what many think in private, and he says it with coherence, persuasive logic and a level-headed marshalling of facts that most of us cannot match." [Straight Up]
· TV Newser asks: "CNN To Go High-Def This Year?" Heck, why not? As we saw last week, they've already gone high-dumb. [TV Newser]
· VH1 greenlights Being Bonaduce starring Danny Bonaduce (natch). Is it time for an intervention? (On the upside: fewer ironic music cues; no Michael Ian Black.) [USA Today, via TVTattle]

· Memo to T.B.: Your exec probably meant Svetlana Stalin, and no, it was not a compliment. [Palm Beach Daily News]
· Liz Smith's pants are so, so on fire. [FishBowlNY]
· And all this time we thought blogs were what made you a mogul. Man, we are so, so screwed. [NYT]
· Speaking of blogs (or as we like to call them, 'Snicker, blogs, snicker, sob'), The New York Daily News makes them seem so simple, even an idiot could create one... A bigger idiot. [NYDN]

· We can't wait for LOVE Magazine. Mostly because of the possible headline puns. [NYP]
· Who said sex ends with marriage? Columnist and "marriage expert" Maggie Gallagher still gets probed. [WaPo]
· Obsessive cable TV news watcher, James Wolcott, wants a wide shot in Florida. That's a metaphor, right? [James Wolcott]
· The Post sure loves running photos of women smacking each other. No clue why it's overlooked by the Pulitzer committee every year. [NYP]

· Breaking: TiVo is destroying the sacred tradition of 'water cooler' chats. Funny, we thought corporate downsizing and outsourcing had killed off water coolers years ago. [USA Today]
· So, like, did Maxim do a shoddy, unconvincing Photoshop job on purpose so that if anyone gave them shit about it, they could be like, "Dude, there's no way you could've been fooled"? [WaPo]
· Did you hear the one about RZA appearing on WNYC's The Brian Lehrer Show? Seriously, did you hear it? [WYNC]
· Everyone wants to coin an awesome media epigram: "The revolution will not be televised".. "The medium is the message"... "It's the Content, Not the Source." [Wired]

· The Onion 'reports' on the National Gonzo Press Club's annual meeting in Las Vegas. Hunter S. Thompson would've attended, but he died last month. [The Onion]
· The heartwarming story of Maximillian Potter, a talented writer chewed up and spit out by the myopic New York media world, only to be nominated for two ASME awards for his work on a relatively unknown Colorado magazine. We see Mark Ruffalo in the film version. [NYO]
· Confidential to JSF and NK: Jesus, just collaborate on a baby like a normal couple. [Mediabistro]
· Two perspectives on last week's New Yorker profile of William Morris agent Dave Wirtschafter: Editor & Punisher wonders who else will follow Sarah Michelle Gellar and Halle Berry in defecting; Done Deal announces the clunkily-titled Compositions in Black and White, to star Wirtschafter's "favorite" client, Alicia Keys. [Editor & Punisher; Done Deal]

· Salon's Eric Boehlert says the Terri Schiavo case points out "how paralyzed the mainstream press has become in pointing out the obvious: that the GOP leadership often operates well outside the mainstream of America." Mr. Boehlert was disappeared shortly after filing his story. (We typed this from an undisclosed location.) [Salon]
· The New York Daily News is very, very sorry. Sure they said you won 100k, and they were wrong. But, hey, they still bring you the best gossip and Stanley Crouch! And if you don't quit complaining, they're gonna send Crouch to your house to kick the shit out of you. [NYDN]
· In order to illustrate a story on David Letterman's private world, New York Newsday runs photos of the press-shy host jogging with his girlfriend. Classy. [Newsday]
· Brother-man reports: Gail Berman, FOX's capo-di-crappy programming, quits for Paramount. Well, we've all made lateral moves at least once in our careers. [Defamer]

· Liberals do Bush supporters one better; learn to read. [NYT]
· Mediabistro talks with new Paris Review editor (and new honorary New York City Fireworks Commissioner) Philip Gourevitch. [Mediabistro]
· Women and Woody, two views: Our old elementary school buddy Allen Konigsberg is interviewed by Suicide Girls and deconstructed by n + 1 all in the same week! Who'd a thunk he'd do so well. (We thought he'd be into leather.) [Suicide Girls, via Fimoculous; n + 1]
· New National Enquirer editor Paul Field gets to the heart of what's different about America and his native land: "In the U.K., everybody reads the newspaper every day. Most people read two or three." No wonder they have no time to brush their teeth in the morning. (Hack-choo!) [NYM]

· Never fuck with Big Popa: FishBowlNY reports on layoffs at The New York Press. Of course, the real punishments begin in the great beyond. [FishBowlNY]
· Brendan I. Koerner looks at our very favoritist magazine, J-14. [Slate]
· Katha Pollitt, a lovely gal, weighs in on the whole "can chicks write op-eds" debate and she has the cutest things to say: "That opinion writing is a kind of testosterone-powered food fight is a popular idea in the blogosphere. Male bloggers are always wondering where the women are and why women can't/don't/won't throw bananas." Actually, male bloggers are always wondering why women can't/don't/won't talk to them and if that hot Canadian chick on Lost will have another bra and panties swim scene this week. [The Nation]
· William Powers says, "I like some blogs so much, I have to restrain myself from visiting too often." Actually, William, the judge and the restraining order keeps you from visiting—at least within 500 yards. [National Journal]

· Janice Min was robbed! The American Society of Magazine Editors announce the 2005 National Magazine Award Finalists. We've never even heard of half of the magazines: The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, Sports Illustrated? Way to go obscure, ASME. We're soooo impressed. [Magazine.org]
· FishBowlNY to start "blogging" next week! [FishBowlNY]
· What does success smell like? Depends. [Broadcasting & Cable]
· Sis pops her head out of her undisclosed hidey hole to bring another installment of 'Thursdays With Tina.' [Wonkette]

· Coming soon to Roger Ailes' ass: reporter with "unusually long tongue." Yeah, even our sister—or her guest blogger—couldn't cram another entendre in there. [Wonkette]
· Paul Krassner weighs in on Karl Rove, Jeff Gannon, Ari Fleischer, Henry Kissinger, Dennis Miller, Bill Maher, and Jon Stewart. All in a little over 400 words! Brevity= S. Wit. [NYPress]
· Jeff Jarvis still mad about being called a white guy. [Buzzmachine]
· Reality TV producers manipulate reality? Nooooooooo! [NYT]

· Jim Windolf profiles MSNBC gossip Jeanette Walls, who seems to have survived the worst ever episode of MTV's True Life: My Parents Are Embarrassing. [VF]
· Peter Carlson has a crush on The Believer. [WaPo]
· Media Industry Newsletter reports on what magazine covers sold well in 2004 and which didn't. Funny, we can't fathom why New York's Joel Steinberg cover didn't fly off newsstands. [MIN, via I Want Media]
· Wolcott on Air America and The Atlantic. [James Wolcott]

· Newsweek's Steven Levy goes all Village Voice circa 1995 and calls out the unbearable whiteness of blogging. [Newsweek]
·Two guesses as to what Times public editor Daniel Okrent is talking about: "It has been an amazing and interesting and tense at times experience, and I am glad I did it." No... guess again. [E&P]
· Brother man looks at The New York Times retread The Los Angeles Times' Paul Haggis profile. We find the photos oddly touching. [Defamer]
· The FCC has ruled that the Desperate Housewives/NFL commercial from last year was not indecent. It was just incredibly cheesy. [Reuters]

· Is Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close merely "an overwrought update of [Beverly Cleary's] Dear Mr. Henshaw for the McSweeney s set"? [Editor & Punisher]
· Woody Allen endorses The Week! And since we strive to emulate Allen in almost every way, we do, too. We always read The Week when we're not reading bedtime stories to our wives. [BusinessWeek]
· William Powers is unimpressed that a blogger made it into the White House. Well, wait until a blogger is in a Levi's ad: then he'll be eating his damn heart out! [National Journal]
· Jann Wenner on his pal, Hunter S. Thompson. [RS]

· Slate editor Jacob Weisberg says anybody who wants to be a journalist can be one. Of course, getting paid for it isn't quite as easy. Ask... this friend of ours. [Slate]
· The effects of November 2004 continue to be felt: Nation publisher Victor Navasky no longer calls himself "editorial director" of the magazine. Editor Katrina vanden Heuvel is now solely responsible for presenting the irrelevance of the left in Bush's mandate America. [NYDN]
· Daniel Okrent to bring his nit-picky love to Harvard? [E&P]
· Perhaps the last "Kenneth, what's the frequency?" joke you'll ever have to endure. At least we hope it is. [Borowitz Report]

· Another week, another article about the supposed invasion of British editors. Everyone talks about British editors, but has anyone ever really met one? [NYP]
· Because you've been waiting since Monday for it: Russ Smith on the mess that is his former paper, The New York Press. [NYPress]
· Sis looks at the big Week shindig. [Wonkette]
· We may be a day early, but we gotta paraphrase Lenny Bruce on Vaughn Meader: Poor RatherBiased! CBS is gonna need three gold wristwatches. [RatherBiased]

· Miramax Books' Jonathan Burnham is off to HarperCollins where he'll get his own imprint. Miramax publishes books? [NYP]
· You won't have Dan Rather to kick around anymore. [CBSNews]
· Remember Rosie O'Donnell? Well, she's a blogger now. [formerlyrosie, via TVTattle]
· Ed Sanders and Tuli Kupferberg, call your lawyers: The sudden ascendency of 'fugly.' [Salon]