• Jokes based on misspellings never stop being funny. [The Muk Report]
• Even Jen Chung knows it's a bad idea to climb into a panda cage. [Gothamist]
• Cat Power: The revised version. [Corporate-Casual]

• The world of texting: overrated. [forksplit]
• The lives of hedge-funders: ridiculous. [Shaking Her Assets]
• The existance of cubicle monkeys: worthless. [HCJ]

• Duane Reade believes cigarettes are a suitable alternative for Nicorette. [The Sue Funke]
• Your internet shit-fight instigating source for male heterohomoeroticism calls it quits... [SpinachDip]
•...and some asshole decides to make fun of him. [Evil Discussor]
• ABC's marketing campaign for Six Degrees is annoying, yet accurate. Apparently. [Rum and Popcorn]

• Apparently, the one thing no Gawker offshoot should ever be is sincere, so we can't really tell you how funny we thought this post was. [heartonastick]
• Bill Clinton doesn't care about black people. (Related: Is there a single person in that photo you would want to hang out with?) [Daily Gotham]
• Jon Fine, PC World think MySpace sucks. [BW]

• Boys will (always) be boys... [Pissed & Petty]
•...and (sometimes) little girl's dreams come true. [Que Sera Sera]
• Schools in Harlem welcome all races and retards alike. [Carolyn Castiglia]
• The signs may be amusing, but really - who does know how to operate vertical blinds? [Logged Hours]

• Dog poop, human poop. If you close your eyes and try real hard, they feel the same when you stand in them, right?[Life Regurgitated]
• Everyone in New York is a critic - even those who evidently lack culture and common sense. [Matt Sears Forever]
• And in case you were wondering - yes, you're still an asshole. [TLME]
• Racial discrimination still alive and kicking by NYC cabbies. How quaint. [Negro Witticisms]

• One-night stands, made easy. [urbanblight]
• And really, how high IS Mayor Bloomberg? [Logged Hours]
• Not as high as the Naked Cowboy, apparently. [TAN]
• Or as high as you were when you decided going to Sunday brunch was a good idea. [TIWWDN]
• Speaking of politics, it's primary day. Did you vote? Yeah, we thought not. [LunchBox]
• Finally, the ultimate blog post. [Wired]

• If smelly Seattle hippies can cause this much of a stir, we can't even begin to imagine the fallout if we'd concocted this brilliance ourselves. [RFJason/Encyclopedia Dramatica]
• The NYPD show patience, compassion, make absolutely no sense. [The Tomato Diaries]
• Reading Elle Decor leads to depression, angst and frustration towards your meager salary and decision to inhabit NYC. [Pigeon in the Sun]
• Beautiful things happen when folks band together to help a poor lost guy find his way home. [Improv Everywhere]

• A sure-fire way to get your money back: insinuating someone is a Nazi, followed by a slew of "Fuck You"s. [Perpetually Nauseous]
• LES Hipsters beg you to save the LoSide Diner. [Lindsayism]
• "Searching for the source of this she led me inside her rectum." Those cat shaman sure are, er, thorough. [Languor Management]

• How much explanation does a blue canvas require? [Tao of Dan]
• That restaurant isn't necessarily where you left it. [TLME]
• There's never been a better time to put that whole 'thinking before you speak' thing into action. [Pissed and Petty]
• Bloggers and sports nerds venture to the Upper East Side. Even Nikola Tamindzic cannot make this bunch look attractive. [Deadspin]

• Dan bows out gracefully, breaking hearts all over the blogosphere. [The Daily Dump]
• Williamsburg and the L train alienates yet another Manhattanite. [east village idiot]
• Good to know that not all men are impressed by the coke-and-champagne/anorexia/ridiculous-genes-and-metabolism diet. [Fresh Pepper?]
• Long weekends bring out the class in people. And by "class", we mean people who liken their beef carpaccio to the remnants of a bris. [waiter rant]

• Shock! Katie Couric might not be writing her own blog. [Tabloid Baby]
• Horror! Some shrinks actually try to push anti-depressants. [Forksplit]
• Whatever! The Science Times is boring, especially when it's about bugs. [Worker #3116]

• It just goes to show, you can expect just about anything at Doc Holliday's — even bagpipes. [Amish in the City]
• If you're not going to discipline your child, he might do it for you. [The Liam McEneaney Experience]
• A complete list of liquids and other materials not allowed on planes. [Get The F Out Of Here]
• Your boyfriend's roommate knows you're crashing there, so it's best if you stop interrupting his sleep schedule in order to remain "discreet". [The Company Bitch]

• Why Gawker commenters are the way they are. [Logged Hours]
• Eighteen is legal, right? [High Class Jackass]
• If your kid is still pissing on the sidewalk, chances are your potty training regime isn't working. [Pissed & Petty]
• It's true - all you need for a blogger to fall in love with you is an accent and a dirty mouth. [Slack LaLane]

• Video evidence of what happens when four guys get simultaneously dumped. [ScorchedHotTub]
• Rest assured that you will eventually run into that chick you groped after she failed to mention she had a boyfriend. It's up to you, though, how you choose to deal with the situation. [Everything Is Wrong With Me]
• Who the hell wants to move into the overpriced, year-vacant shithole in Greenpoint? Trust-fund hipsters, that's who. [new york shitty]
• Madonna's "music" destroys H&M. Because it was such a bastion of audio excellence to begin with. [MonkeyPants]

• In same-sex relationships, it's probably a good idea if you mention the fact that you're giving that whole in-utereo thing a shot. [uffish]
• ABC, teenyboppers and garbage men adore Snow Patrol equally. [east village idiot]
• West Chelsea: Everything that's wrong with NYC, the world. [Clublife]
• For fuck's sake, don't even THINK about communicating with another human being while you're wearing those headphones. [Logged Hours]
• How To Get A Shitty Haircut From A Foreigner, Redux. [King of Spills]
• You know you're time's up when there's someone googling your murder - and you're not dead yet. [Hot Johnny]

• Sailer v. Gladwell. [DealBreaker]
• SUV v. Verizon. [Consumerist]
• Bloggers v. reporters. [MediaBistro]

• How could anyone turn down a threesome with their drunk neighbor and her drunk boyfriend? It's a perfect opportunity to create even more awkwardness in the hallways of your building. [Heart Tribute Band Super Fan Page]
• An equine shaman who moonlights as a feline shaman brings new meaning to the phrase 'fall-back career'. [Languor Management]
• We could think of better ways to make $100 than swimming in the lake at Central Park. Like performing back-alley abortions, or maybe selling a kidney on the black market. [Pissed & Petty]

• That's right, keep telling yourself you're not a walking fucking cliche, with your pink-colored blog, chicklit links and overuse of your laptop's built-in thesaurus. [Kitty Can Scratch]
• It's the age-old debate: doing something you love, or making money. Because apparently, you can't do both. [No, a door is not a Duncan.]
• Good reasons not to smoke pot, or be one of those couples that dress alike. [The Liam McEneaney Experience]
• They seemed to miss this scenario in He's Just Not That Into You. [Smallhands Ick]
• More frightening tales of tremendous laziness and man-eating bugs. [The Three-Toed Sloth]
• If you decided to go to IKEA, you have no right to complain about anything. In the words of Thom Yorke, you [did] it to yourself. [they call me concha]
• Help pick the sexiest city. Hey, everyone loves New York, right? [Gridskipper]

• Bloomberg feigns caring, promotes the uselessness that is 311. [And Now A Word From Our Sponsor]
• Krucoff does his best Hugh MacLeod impression. [Young Manhattanite]
• Courtesy of the NRA, America's future sure are wearing some fine clothing these days. [Pigeon in the Sun]
• The truth behind those horrific Ben & Jerry banners. [east village idiot]
• Grow a spine and stand up to your employer's children. Those little shits need discipline from somewhere. [Not Chosen, Just Posin']