• Your dreams of becoming an i-banker. [copyranter]
  

• Impermeable Polish logic. [Languor Management]
  

• 96.9% of Gawker employees followed this recipe last Thursday, with a 99% success rate. Additionally, 100% of these statistics were completely fabricated. [The Tomato Diaries]
  

• We'll admit it - that graffiti was totally us. More specifically, it was Intern Stephanie. [copyranter]
  

• The buns of yesteryear. [Gurgling Cod]
  

• Balls! [forksplit]
  

• Finally, an awards ceremony after our own hearts. You bet your asses we'll be sending in our nominations. [The Jorie Awards]
  

• That coat, it was ugly anyhow. [Manhattan Offender]
  

• Your ass, it is nice. [The Assimilated Negro]
  

• Heterohomoeroticism never fails to amuse us. [corporate-casual]
  

• Damn those petulant tourists, and the husbands who refuse to bitchslap them. [forksplit]
  

• Being single! [This Place is Dead Anyway]
  

• The crazies will only dance if they don't have to pay for it. [fast hugs]
  

• Fun with write-in votes. [The Daily Politics]
  

• When we write our letter to Santa, we're asking for this. [Radosh]
  

• AWESOME. Now all you have to do is be cool enough to get your friends to invite you as a plus one. [MiMP]
  

• No hot water. [newyorkshitty]
  

• If we knew that punctuation was unnecessary we would have applied for that Puma copywriting job too JESUS. [copyranter]
  

• Stuck for ideas to entertain out-of-town guests? Look no further. [This Girl Called Automatic Win]
  

• In case the Whalepheasantelopenfant is too contemporary for your, uh, taste, there's still time to make your own traditional turducken. [Consumerist]