• It's hard to escape the crazies when you're running in place. [Logged Hours]
• It's not the trips that are dangerous. It's the luggage claim at JFK? [The Muk Report]
• Spring brings out the short skirts. Which brings out the creepy guys with videocameras. Who post the video — with soundtrack, even — to the web. Which really, really skeeves us out. [I Do Nothing All Day]
• Angry at the ASPCA? Sending them your blood will express your frustration. Or else land you in jail. [Languor Management]
• It's houseguest season. Anyone have any idea what to do with all these people who know nothing about New York? [Unhappy Medium]

• Racism is alive and well in the elevators of Wall Street. At least, the amusing, unintential kind of racism. [The Daily Dump]
• Do Chanel sunglasses and a fab Union Square desk job make up for a two-hour commute from Rockland County? No, they do not. [LianneStokes]
• NYC singles, Florida has a message for you: Please shut the hell up and make out already. [White Dade]

• In New York, even the 8-year-olds can tell you bought your "Prada" on Canal Street. [Mindy Raf]
• A spring fashion essential: The definitive guide to walk-of-shame clothing shopping. [Nichelle Newsletter]
• When sighted in their natural habitat, it is often best not to disturb the wild bloggers. [Bring Back Sincerity]

[Ed. note: Today we bid a fond farewell to Intern John — for some silly reason, he seems to think there's a better use for his J.D. than reading blogs for us all day — and welcome Intern Heather. Give her a big hand.]
• Girl Scout cookie season has arrived in New York, and, thank God, so far nobody's been hurt. [Tales of a Delectable Redhead]
• Some places are appropriate for using your blogger persona. Some are not. Which is the Shake Shack? [Fresh Pepper]
• Single women of New York rejoice: Men you've rejected are leaving town, one by one. Unless they're not. [This Is What We Do Now]

• An etiquette question Emily Post, surprisingly, has never addressed: How to behave while getting a blowjob from a dude in the bathroom of an East Village straight bar. [Hot Johnny]
• Collecting unemployment is a lot like having a job. But without the indignity of having to work. [Things That Make You Go Hmmm]
• Here's a good way to prove you are nothing like the obsessive, pushy lawyer chick from Sex and the City: Write a 1,500 word blog post arguing your case. [Unhappy Medium]
• On Houston Street, you can get your bagel buttered by a totally hot Russian chick. [Krucoff.com]
• Breaking up with your mortgage lender is hard to do. [Maccers]

• Friends coming to town to vist can prompt horrible memories of the first warm day in spring and the beginning of the Clash of Civilizations. [Drunk and Single in NYC]
• Maybe the robots at Washington Mutual don't hate all humans. Just old white male humans. [Club Life]
• The Perils of Drinking, Part XVII: Drunk IMing and dead vibrator batteries. [Bama Girl In the Big City]

• Yet another front in the increasingly tense man-robot wars: WaMu ATMs. [Diminishing Returns]
• There should be no crying in subways. [Scorched Hotttub]
• And here's why there's now a thriving black market in giftbags from last week's Playgirl party. [Jane]

• Geoppolitics, lunchtime-in-New York style: The first rule of Falafel Fight Club is that you don't mess with the Mexicans. [Languor Management]
• Here's one cause we won't be joining: "We need to have some general concern about our criminals private areas." Which is not to say we disagree that the West 4th station isn't the cleanest place in the world. [Bloggy Blog]
• New York dating raises the eternal questions. Like, if Hitler or Ghandi were the last men left to date on earth, who would you go for? [Desperate Guy]

• Even in the height of summer in the East Village, lowrise jeans and backless shirts are not a happy combination. In March, it's even worse. [PetroleumJellife]
• Double-decker tourist bus spotted in Brooklyn; residents pissed and armed with eggs. [MetblogsNYC]
• Lots of booze, little food, and running into a favorite SNL cast member. Things won't end well. [LianneStokes]
• What New York's emptier heads read each morning. [The State That I Am In]
• Finally, something for the "suspects" to do all day at Gimro: "New York Blitz" — a retro videogame circa 1983 — features aliens attacking the WTC. Freedom-hating fun! [ViceLand.com]

• Actually, to be perfectly honest, your apartment really is a little scary. [Diminishing Returns]
• You know that cool teacher you had in high school? Yeah, it's his fault you're poor. [Logged Hours]
• What would drive a well-dressed woman to scrawl subway graffiti in broad daylight? A government conspiracy to control your kids' minds, of course. [Bloggy Blog]

• More pleasures of Trader Joe's: Everyone loves the chocolate pussy. [Tomato Diaries]
• It's like Superman, if Superman were a cracked-out homeless guy. [City Rag]
• The bird watching at the Audubon Society is, apparently, for the birds. [Bird Chaser]
• This is exactly how a job interview is not supposed to go. [Fresh Pepper]
• As it turns out, men on internet dating sites sometimes lie about thing. [Drunk and Single in NY]
• If bloggers all live on the Lower East Side, politicos apparently all now live on Kenmare Square. [The Real Estate/NYO]

• So it looks like the bloggers had a pizza party. [Eat Drink One Woman]
• And they all wrote about. [Blog Search]
• Except for Lindsay Robertson, who was busy selling out to Conde Nast. [Janemag.com]
• And the bouncer guy, who was discovering a new low in guido-grooming: eyebrow threading. [Clublife]

• "It's an amateur's holiday that results in my dog drinking discolored vomit." That's a bad thing? [Manhattan Offender]
• But, yeah, enough with those fucking little green dudes. [Fast Lad]
• Whatever else happens tomorrow, try to keep your shoes on. [Monkeys in My Pants]
• And don't forget, the homeless are hiding treasures for you in the subway. [The Social Cavity]

• When you learn English in New York, you learn a very rarefied vocabulary. [Tomato Diaries]
• The thrill of the coat check; the agony of the tip. [Diner's Journal/NYT]
• Five reasons to stay single. Five reasons to be in a relationship. You decide which side wins. [The Company Bitch]

• You know that club in Chelsea you've never been too? Yeah, it's just as bad as you feared. And the line for the bathroom makes it hard to do coke. [Repetition Compulsion]
• The universal blogger epitaph: "In retrospect, it now seems completely idiotic to have documented, in writing, the types of things I've documented on this site, and for that, I'll always be sorry." [Cocaine Corner]
• The Corner Bistro: Crowded, dirty and still serving really, really good burgers. [Twenty Bucks A Day]

• Old women talking dirty: a love story. [This Place Is Dead Anyway]
• Is Jayson Blair on jury duty in a Manhattan courthouse? [You Can't Make It Up]
• Exactly how old do you have to be to qualify for one of those "elderly or disabled" seats on the bus? [I Have No Blog]

• Zork, the speed-dating edition. [The Digitizer]
• Isn't hooking your way through college a bit clich d by now? [The Blog That Ate Manhattan]
• Another excuse to stay single: Relationships make you fat. [Logged Hours]

• Pigeons ride the subway a lot, and that's fine. So long as they don't take up more than one seat. [Anakela]
• Shockingly, sometimes companies get frustrated with their cokehead employees who can't manage to show up on time. (Blog empires, on the other hand, have no similar qualms.) [Cocaine Corner]
• Once again we're reminded that the key to a successful relationship isn't honesty. It's knowing when to shut the fuck up. [Fresh Pepper (second item)]

• The perfect shirt: not too flashy, but flashy enough so that people will know you're a homosexual. [Puntabulous]
• Meantime, the world's ugliest coat is found in — where else? — Hoboken. [Logged Hours]
• It's not that you're too old to hang around in bars. It's that you're too fat. [Palm Trees on Park Ave]

• Like women and whiskey, the Gowanus Canal is at its most beautiful when it is at its most poisonous.
[A
Brooklyn Life]
• Deadspin's Will Leitch tries to avenge NYC against famous 7-train hating pitcher John Rocker in Bryant Park and...strikes out. Serves Will right; bastard won our Oscar pool. [Deadspin]
• Remember how it kind of pissed you off that all your friends in Montauk wanted to do was get stoned on the beach last summer? Just be glad you didn't take the share on Fire Island. [New York Hack]
• A giant blue monster attacked 14th Street the other day, and peyote was not involved.
[What About the Plastic Animals]