Larry David Loves Hotel Sex
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/16/15 12:19AMWhy does Larry David love living in hotels? "I got one word for you: transience."
Best Girls' Basketball Coach on Fucking Earth Not Sorry for 161-2 Win
Jay Hathaway · 01/16/15 12:08AMFBI Agent Shot Up Evidence Against Hundreds of Heroin Dealers: Report
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/15/15 11:46PMNo One Wants the Bodies of the Dead French Terrorists
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/15/15 10:00PMPro Football Shill Lanny Davis Lies About Shilling for Pro Football
Tom Scocca · 01/15/15 09:35PM
Antibiotic-resistant flesh-eating infection Lanny Davis published a column in the Hill yesterday deploring the media's terrible rush to judgment against NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. Because the NFL's self-commissioned investigation into the Ray Rice scandal failed to find evidence that the league had done wrong, Davis wrote, all the various outlets that had reported on the other evidence of the league's wrongdoing owed Goodell an apology.
North Miami Cops Use Mugshots of Black Criminals For Target Practice
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/15/15 08:35PMWoman Sentenced to 219 Years For Running Incest Sex Ring
Gabrielle Bluestone · 01/15/15 07:43PMTwo-Thirds of New Yorkers Found NYPD's Funeral Protests "Unacceptable"
Taylor Berman · 01/15/15 06:50PM
The NYPD's embarrassing protests at two recent police funerals were "unacceptable" to the vast majority of New Yorkers, according to a new Quinnipiac University poll. Nearly 70 percent of New Yorkers disapproved of cops turning their backs to Mayor de Blasio, and 77 percent said police union leader Patrick Lynch's "blood on the hands" comments about de Blasio were "too extreme."
Little Boy Who Claimed to Die and Visit Heaven Admits He Made It Up
Sam Biddle · 01/15/15 06:10PM
There's nothing God hates more than a liar, and that's exactly what Alex Malarkey—protagonist and co-author of The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven—has just copped to being. In an open letter posted on a Christian website Tuesday, the alleged paradise tourist says "I did not die. I did not go to Heaven." Wow, we have a little sinner on our hands.
Aleksander Chan · 01/15/15 06:10PM
In Touch Atrociously Photoshopped This Actress Into a Lady Bruce Jenner
Jay Hathaway · 01/15/15 05:40PMA Selection of Jokes About the Pope's Momma
Scocca & MacLeod · 01/15/15 03:56PMFriendly Robber Cancels Stickup With Thumbs-Up After Recognizing Victim
Andy Cush · 01/15/15 03:19PMOn Tuesday, a lucky convenience store worker in Wheat Ridge, Colo., was spared a stickup when the guy who was planning to clean him out recognized his face. "(Expletive)," the would-be robber allegedly said (What expletive?). "I was going to rob this place, but I know you."
Aleksander Chan · 01/15/15 03:00PM
Remember: Gawker is trying out a new publishing system where we post less often to the front page. Read about the change here. Happening elsewhere: Defamer Taylor Swift Was Getting Like 100 Texts When She Saw Harry Styles Sorry | Newsfeed Advice Columnist Listened to Her Son's Impressive Fucking for 4 Minutes | Fortress America Gun Nuts Simulate Paris Shooting, Get Shot By Simulated Terrorists
Advice Columnist Listened to Her Son's Impressive Fucking for 4 Minutes
Jay Hathaway · 01/15/15 02:40PMMirror agony aunt (British for "advice columnist") Coleen Nolan told her fellow panelists on the talk show Loose Women (British for "The View") this week that her son once accidentally phone her while he was having sex, leaving a 4-and-a-half minute voicemail consisting entirely of his fucking noises. She listened to the whole thing, which left her "dead impressed."









