Best Girls' Basketball Coach on Fucking Earth Not Sorry for 161-2 Win
A high school girls' basketball coach has been suspended for being too successful at his job after his team won by a hilarious 161-2, even with starters sitting out the entire second half. The school deemed the magnificent victory a show of "questionable sportsmanship."
Arroyo Valley (Calif.) High School coach Michael Anderson will miss two games after his players put up a stunning 104-1 first half against Bloomington. Sounds like awesome and adept sportsmanship to me.
"The game just got away from me,'' Anderson told the San Bernardino Sun. "I didn't expect them to be that bad, I'm not trying to embarrass anybody. And I didn't expect my bench to play that well. I had one player make eight of nine 3s."
Bloomington coach and sore loser Dale Chung told the paper, "People shouldn't feel sorry for my team; they should feel sorry for his team, which isn't learning the game the right way," calling Anderson's decision to let his bench players casually grind Bloomington into fine dust "unethical."
"He knows what he did was wrong," Chung said, losing without grace and setting a poor example for his players.
Was it wrong, though? What were Anderson's options against a team whose only points in the game came from free throws? Tell his bench players to slow down and go for the tie? The fourth quarter was already played on a running clock.
If the school doesn't want to see their drastically overpowered student-athletes crush their opponents and hear the lamentations of opposing coaches, they can just ask the league to implement a mercy rule.
But they shouldn't, because that's not the point of competitive sports. Which are competitive.
Anderson's only mistake was not submitting the unbelievable final score to the local paper. It's not his fault he was assigned to coach what is apparently an army of unstoppable teenage cyborgs.
In Anderson's first game away from the team, he was replaced by his 19-year-old son, Nick, who led the squad to an 80-19 win over Indian Springs.