It's Time to Stop Dressing Up Your Pets for Halloween
According to Wendy Williams and this other lady whose parents must be very proud of her for becoming a "pet fashion stylist," it is very trendy and important to dress your dog up for Halloween because there are a lot of events you both should be attending.
Unfortunately these ladies never learned that dressing your dog up in costume, particularly if that costume is couture, is actually a total nightmare.
Look, I'm not a monster. I am not impervious to things that are undeniably and universally cute, and I think it's adorable to see pets of all kinds gussied up and ready for a night of trickery. But as it turns out, the people who dress up their dogs and cats on Halloween are a terrible breed (dogs!) indeed. Sure, it is very funny to put hats and sneakers and miniature tracksuits on your pet; it is always tremendous fun to see animals dressed up as humans, no one is denying that. But no one is denying that it's annoying that you just spent a lot of money on a cat costume and have probably sent around 3,000 pictures it looking miserable, either.
Just look how unhappy they are and how much they hate whoever did this to them. It is also an incredible waste of time and money because the cats will instantly rip off that couture Katy Perry mop of a wig and the dogs will shred those tiny bumblebee wings with a viciousness reserved for a steak dinner. Plus, they always look mortified. They are embarrassed by what they are wearing and more importantly, hugely ashamed of you because you look dumb for purchasing a pet costume from a store and then forcing them to wear it.
So please, this Halloween let's all agree that while it may be cute, the animal costuming should stop. Enough is enough. Just think twice before you consider traipsing up and down Fifth Avenue with your dog dressed up as a Kate Middleton dog-bride. Also, if you are dressed as his or her Prince William, maybe it's time you get out there and start making some new friends? I don't know, but just think about what you're doing next time you consider attaching fake human arms to a wedding dress that was custom made for your dog.