Did James Franco enact the most satisfying zit-popping known to man after the Oscars? Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart make out on a dance floor. Bieber and Selena Gomez make love with their hands. Melissa Leo rather regrets dropping an f-bomb. Monday gossip is an Oscars hangover.

  • Sound the alarm! A breach in Hollywood's hull! A high-profile celebrity was not physically flawless at the Academy Awards! For James Franco, Oscars co-host and pothead hero, had a pimple. Though expertly concealed and treated, one would imagine, with the finest anti-acne treatments known to man, the Oscars chin pimple of James Franco would not be thwarted. At left, James Franco on the night before the Oscars. At right, James Franco onstage at the Oscars, chin pimple subdued but undeniable. (And most well-hidden during the drag sketch.) I can sympathize with the awful experience of waking up on the morning of a momentous occasion to discover that weeks of stress and agony have funneled themselves into a single, aching sebaceous gland on your face. Makeup is a double-edged sword: Though it covers the pimple, it also feeds it, and the pimple grows crustier and more bloated with every successive swab of makeup. So did James Franco pop his giant chin pimple after the Oscars? Imagine the glorious release: The pus and blood of many restless nights pouring forth onto a face that he may smear and sully, for it is no longer contractually obligated to be Oscars eye candy. Imagine it like the virginal wedding nights of yore, a blood-stained sheet waved as a banner from the site of consummation. [Images via Getty]
  • Speaking of James Franco, he has a Terry Richardson photoshoot coming up, co-starring Lindsay Lohan and "like Warhol co-branding with Haring and Basquiat." [Gatecrasher]
  • Oscar parties round-up: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez held hands. Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart made out on a dancefloor. Dianna Agron bounced back from her break-up with "psycho loose cannon" housefire victim Alex Pettyfer by "flirting" and "swapping numbers" with Fantastic Four star Chris Evans. Lourdes Leon got to stay out past curfew to party with her mom, Madonna. Sean Parker laughed up a storm at Harvey Weinstein's party. (No word on whether he ran into Social Network doppelganger Justin Timberlake.) And James Franco skipped his own after-party, probably because he was too busy reveling in the glory of a burst zit. [JJ, Us, P6, P6, Gatecrasher, JJ, Us]
  • Speaking of Oscars mysteries, "Scarlett Johansson's Mystery Oscar Date Revealed!" It was her agent. Bo-ring. [Us]
  • Melissa Leo on dropping an f-bomb during her Best Supporting Actress acceptance speech: "I apologize to anyone that was offended. It was probably a very inappropriate place to use that word in particular." She added, "But fuck y'all, I'm a motherfucking Oscar-fucking-winning actress, you fuckers." [USA Today]
  • Did you know that, to thwart crashers, the Vanity Fair Oscar party required invitations that included "a credit card-sized plastic case containing a gold coin hologram and a radio frequency ID card"? As if that'll solve anything: Professional crashers come early and steal credentials on-site. [The Daily]
  • Now that Charlie Sheen passed a drug test and is giving jittery jazz-handed interviews to anyone who asks, we can all agree that he's just plain insane, right? His latest dream: To be patriarch to a "porn family" consisting off all his favorite porn performers, living in a compound of mansions up and down his street. Basically, this is what would actually happen if an 11-year-old boy grew up overnight, like in Big. Also, how much must Charlie Sheen's neighbors hate him? [TMZ]
  • George Clooney took girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis out to dinner with his parents, at an Italian restaurant in August, Kentucky. It must suck to be an Italian married to a guy from Kentucky, and get stuck going to the one mediocre Italian restaurant in the area every single time you visit his folks. [People]
  • Angelina Jolie gave Brad Pitt a necklace with a pendant that is a gold square lined with diamonds and laser-printed with a tiny message invisible to the naked eye, legible only when read through a microscope. It's worth "six figures." I hope it says BOOBS. [Daily Mail]
  • Kim Cattrall went on one of those genealogy reality shows, and discovered her granfather was a polygamist. Bummer. Everyone else goes on those shows and finds out they're Yo-Yo Ma's eighth cousin thrice remoed; Kim Cattrall found out she's probably inbred. [Daily Mail]