Too-good-to-be-true male stripper flick Magic Mike isn't even in theaters yet, and its screenwriter is already adapting it into a musical. Seriously.

Aniston sex partner and literary scion Justin Theroux shows his bush in this week's New York magazine, prompting squeals of dismay (and occasional arousal?) worldwide.

Angelina seeks the "coup de grace" of Aniston life-destroying. Blake Lively moves in with Leo DiCaprio. Lil' Bow Wow has a secret daughter. Elisabetta Canalis bounces back from George. Thursday gossip is a stone-cold assassin of hearts.

Arnold's former underage fling describes several other affairs, one of which Maria supposedly knew about. The Brangelina brood makes a "giant mess" in Cannes. Lea Michele throws a tantrum over a dress. It's TGIFriday gossip.

I know you never thought it possible, but little Troy Bolton is about to get sexual and thrilling, all at once. Also today: tons of TV news about renewals and cancellations, plus a sexy little companion piece to the Efron news.

This morning we heard that "psycho loose cannon" actor Alex Pettyfer has "Thank You" tattooed above his penis, "in case I forget to say it." Now V Man, the magazine that quoted Pettyfer on that, has kindly provided photographic evidence of said crotch tattoo. Unfortunately, since the web versions of their photos are kind of small. I feel like I'm squinting at a too-small line of text at the opthamologist's office.

Alex Pettyfer's crotch tattoo says thank you, "in case I forget to say it." Blake Lively is a literal trainwreck. A Jersey Shore star is pregnant. Mariska Hargitay sues her talent agency. Thursday gossip is cocky.

Yes, somehow Johnny Depp has managed to be involved with a successful film. I know it's quite a rarity, but today it worked. Meanwhile Matt Damon didn't do too badly for himself either, which is a good thing.

Christina Aguilera's mugshot wasn't supposed to be released, but here it is, anyway. Scarlett Johansson gives Sean Penn a lap dance with her foot. Montana Fishburne narrowly avoids jailtime. Wednesday gossip sneaks forbidden peeks.

It was a quiet weekend at the cineplexes, mostly because everyone was busy at home doing their pre-Oscar calisthenics, frantically catching up on all the movies they missed, feverishly sewing beads on a dress while a cruel Anne Hathaway stood over them with a whip. You know, Oscar things!

Did James Franco enact the most satisfying zit-popping known to man after the Oscars? Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart make out on a dance floor. Bieber and Selena Gomez make love with their hands. Melissa Leo rather regrets dropping an f-bomb. Monday gossip is an Oscars hangover.

Women begin to flee Charlie Sheen and CBS cancels his show, but he says they just "can't handle my power." Dianna Agron's "psycho" ex-boyfriend's house catches fire. Christina Aguilera gets drunk and bangs her boyfriend in the bathroom at a family get-together. TGIFriday gossip.

"Terrified" Dianna Agron flees ex-boyfriend and co-star Alex Pettyfer. Lindsay Lohan heads back to court. Eva Mendes naked pictures stolen! Charlie Sheen parties with porn stars on a yacht. Come and get your Wednesday gossip.

This week's box office saw the further success of our old friend Liam Neeson, plus the emergence of a new sorta-successful action star from the British Isles.

Kim Kardashian celebrates her 30th birthday by making a video of herself getting frothed in the face. Nicki Minaj "doesn't do" escalators. Charlie Sheen throws a party. A vengeful flight attendant plays a "wire hangers" prank on Faye Dunaway. Monday gossip's cup overfloweth.

Watch out world, there's a new diva in town. Or should I say divo. His name is Alex Pettyfer and he wants what he wants when he wants it. Also today: lots of news about TV pilots, including the casting of a lead on a Shonda Rhimes show, plus Charlie Sheen agrees to cough up some cash.

On Fallon, Alex Pettyfer (from I am Number Four fame) dodges a question by awkwardly taking a sip of water when Jimmy asks him whether or not he is dating Dianna Aragron (of Glee fame).

America doesn't have a lack of pretty British actors invading their industry and taking away jobs! But I guess it's fine if you have a body like that. Watch as he takes off his shirt and drives everyone nuts.

Miley Cyrus stays calm in the wake of her bong-ripping scandal. Jennifer Grey has yet to recover from the pain of dancing with Bristol Palin. Kim Kardashian's new lover crosses a threshold: First photo op. Monday gossip soldiers on.

Here's a full-length trailer for I Am Number Four, the sci-fi teen adventure based on the book series by none other than James Frey. It all seems a bit pat and done before, but who knows, it could be fun.