On April 15, Politico reports, George and Amal Clooney will host a fundraiser for the Hillary Victory Fund at the Bay Area-home of venture capitalist Shervin Pishevar, of “Uber for Planes” notoriety. To sit at the head table, a couple must contribute or raise $353,400.

I was recently voted one of the 15 most notorious party crashers in the world, a title I don’t take lightly. I am proud to report that I came in at No. 4, beating Tareq and Michaele Salahi (#15), Queen Elizabeth (#14) and Bill Murray (#6). Lady Gaga and Serena Williams were handed honorable mentions, but did not actually make the esteemed list. Better luck next time, ladies!

It's a warm summer night and you're sitting outside La Locanda del Cantiere enjoying a nice Brunello when suddenly you see George and Amal Clooney step out onto their terrace to enjoy a lakeside aperitif. "Hullo George! Evening Amal," you call out, for you are nothing if not a friendly expat. Well sir, you just talked yourself into a $600 fine.

All human history, everyone knows, comes down to sex, violence and oil, so that in the end is the story of Sudan.

Remember how Barbara Walters was supposed to retire, and then she was like, "No I'm retiring from The View," and then she showed up on that show several more times? I just want you to consider the source of this information first.

Who puts the MAN in Batman? Not George Clooney, according to professional growler Christian Bale. Bale tells WSJ magazine this week that Clooney, who basically enacted laws in Italy to protect his wedding from the paparazzi, should "shut up" and "stop whining" about privacy.

American actor George Clooney and his new wife, British human rights attorney Amal Alamuddin Clooney, are reportedly looking to adopt a baby. Not just any baby, however—one from a "war-torn country," according to reports from Woman's Day and the Daily Mail.

George Clooney is married.

Wanted: A picture of an allegedly averaged-sized megastar's penis peeking out from a pair of glasses in a below-the-belt Groucho Marx look. Have you seen this dick?

Professional bachelor George Clooney and fiancé Amal Alamuddin are reportedly getting married in Highclere Castle near London — aka THE Downton Abbey. It's the same castle as depicted on the popular television series about British people and Maggie Smith telling each other secrets and being very dramatic while sitting down.

Sources have confirmed to People Magazine and US Weekly that George Clooney, a man whom you will likely never meet, is engaged.

Esquire's December issue features a mammoth profile of Rosemary Clooney's most famous nephew, the popular actor George, entitled "GEORGE CLOONEY'S RULES FOR LIVING." It opens with the sentence, "You must love him." It is unclear whether the 6,062 words that follow are meant to support or subvert this thesis.

I still felt Alfonso Cuarón's Gravity in my body the day after I saw it last week.

When life imitates Chappelle's Show you know it's high time we all took a serious step back.

Look, is it news that George Clooney and Stacy Keibler got food poisoning in Italy? Is it absolutely essential that you know a high-profile Hollywood couple ate an improperly prepared meal and had it coming out of both ends?

George Clooney's $40,000-a-plate fundraiser for President Obama, co-hosted by DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg, took place last night at Clooney's Studio City manse, and was, by all accounts a resounding success: The event is believed to have shattered the previous one-night fundraising record of $11 million set by Obama in 2008, bringing in as much as $15 million thanks to the 150 deep-pocketed donors in attendance.

George Clooney was arrested today at the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C. as he led a protest against Sudan's genocidal president, Omar al-Bashir. (The guy next to him is his dad.) You know Joseph Kony is so jealous. "Aw man, Omar gets Clooney and all I get is this random white dude and his kid."

Sure, last night's Academy Awards were the worst Oscars ever. But that doesn't mean we were deprived the always-glamorous faces of the silver screen. Happy faces, sad faces, faces incapable of emotion due to injections—they're all here for your perusal.

A hearty official Gawker congratulations to David James Glendon, Irish actor and winner of the first annual George Clooney lookalike contest, held at Dylan's Whiskey Bar in Kilkenny last week. (David's the one in the photo who looks like George Clooney.)

Awards shows are compelling because they're occasions for the rich, famous, and beautiful to go above and beyond to the apogee of glamor. The Golden Globes, however—mostly due to the mass quantities of alcohol and other substances in close proximity—are often the occasion for the glamorous to become beastlike in the blink of an eye. (Except Kate Winslet. She is never not absolutely fabulous.)