As Nicole Kidman and soon-to-be-husband Keith Urban's secret wedding operations swiftly approach DEFCON 1, details have emerged regarding that most cherished of celebrity marriage traditions, the lowballing prenup. Says Page Six:

• These are Nicole Kidman's last moments as a single woman — she and Keith Urban will marry tomorrow in Sydney. Should things go by the wayside, Urban will get just $600K for every year of their marriage and not a single penny if he goes back to blowing rails. [Page Six]
• Speaking of powdering one's nose, producer Dallas Austin is currently in a Dubai prison for trying to smuggle drugs into the country. The occasion? Naomi Campbell's birthday party, of course. And she was pissed when he didn't make it. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Being famous is hard for Anderson Cooper — people offer him free stuff and know his name and ride in his car and want to be his friend. Poor Anderson. (Jesus, listen to us: are we headed towards a backlash? No, no. Just a rough spot, that's all.) [Lowdown]
• A paparazzo sketching around Maddox Jolie's daycare center is arrested for trespassing, though he didn't jump any fences or set foot on the center's grounds. He was just innocently, legally stalking. [TMZ]
• Drag queen Kevin Aviance, whose jaw was wired shut after he was beaten in a hate crime, will have his mouth set free for one day so that he can perform for Sunday's gay pride parade. Let's hope he sings his hit song "Cunty," if only so we can see how the Times covers it. [Page Six]
• American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee will not let you forget about her, even if that means she has to pull the bulimia card. [People]
• Just in time for the premiere of Superman Returns, Kate Bosworth nears death. [Popsugar]
• Finally, thank God, the Coreys reunite — we're praying for License to Drive 2. They owe it to us, really. [E!]

Rather than adopt an ugly strong-arm tactic like dispatching a well-armed security team to disperse the swarming paparazzi with a hail of rubber bullets, the soon-to-be-married, privacy-obsessed Nicole Kidman tried a different strategy for dealing with her unofficial wedding photographers:

• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban finally confirm that they're getting married this weekend in Australia. Guess that means they're an item? Meanwhile, Kidman spends extra on security, lest an angry Scientologist show up at her nuptials with an E-meter. [R&M]
• Heidi Klum and Seal are pregnant with their second baby prune. [Us Weekly]
• Much like his fellow talent Paris Hilton, Kevin Federline isn't much for helping needy kids. Charity work interferes with his smoking schedule. [Lowdown]
• Classy lady Tori Spelling calls her husband's ex-wife, Mary Jo Eustace, "pathetic...bordering on lunacy." This comes from a woman who voluntarily paid for frighteningly unnatural breasts. [Page Six]
• Bruce Willis sues a paparazzo who told TMZ that he was assaulted by the actor. [TMZ]
• After seeing the previews for Miami Vice, we're confident it will quickly join Gigli and Alexander in the shit-filled canon. [Fox411]
• Madison Avenue prep Andrew Parker's mother inadvertantly pays for the production of Trust Fund Sluts. That's about all you need to know. [Page Six]

Star magazine, desperate to beat its rivals to the next celebrity infant craze by attempting to identify signs of pregnancy mere seconds after the moment of conception, claims that Nicole Kidman seemed to be sporting a telltale baby bump while leaving a yoga class yesterday. We find Star's evidence to be wildly inconclusive, even after having the images enhanced by our in-house photo lab. If Kidman's normally skeletal frame seems slightly more fleshy around the abdominal region, the difference can probably be attributed to the consumption of a Power Bar before her exercise session, not the highly unlikely event of a potentially career-stalling pregnancy.

As Nicole Kidman's attends to the final cloak-and-dagger preparations for her quickly approaching wedding day, her Cold Mountain co-star and confidante Renee Zellweger has been doing everything she can to dissuade Kidman from making the same, pretty-boy-in-a-cowboy-hat-espousing mistakes she made, says website FemaleFirst.

Having presumably waited until the last lingering memories of their original "mother" had vaporized from the minds of the offspring she once adopted with Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman is now comfortable to begin a life and family anew, this time with her former Playgirl model/Kiwi country singer fiance, Keith Urban. With the big day set for July 25 in Sydney, the couple is taking every precaution to discourage the presence of Australian paparazzi looking for that $1 million "kiss-the-bride" shot:

• And the award goes to... People magazine, who won the Getty Images' first pictures of baby Shiloh for a mere $4.1 million. Props to Getty for making them scramble and outbid each other until 6 in the morning. [Page Six]
• While you organize a hunger strike until People publishes the pics, do enjoy the questionable image at right. At any rate, the baby's lips look real. [Dlisted]
• Former ReganBooks slave Bridie Clark pulls a Weisberger and skewers Judith Regan in her forthcoming roman a clef, Because She Can. If the movie looks half as good as Devil Wears Prada, we approve. [Lowdown]
• Crazy Barbara Davis defends her greasy grandson Brandon's comments about Lindsay Lohan's firecrotch, telling people that Lindsay and Brandon are dating now. Not true, says Lohan's rep, but delusional old ladies sure are cute. [Page Six]
• Delusional teen talents are cute, too: Lindsay Lohan drops out her latest project, Bill, because the directors aren't as awesome as Brett Ratner. [IMDb]
• Nicole Kidman schedules her June 25 wedding to Keith Urban for the evening hours, so as to thwart the paparazzi. If she'd just give in and let Getty take some pictures, Nicole could use the money to feed all of Angelina's Namibian leftovers. [Scoop]
• Born-again Christian Stephen Baldwin is irrelevant because the Lord wants it that way. [R&M]
• Elapsed time since Britney and K-Fed were last photographed together: 97 days and counting. [Us Weekly]

• Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills, have announced that they're getting divorced after a whopping 4 years. Naturally, the media is to blame, having made it difficult for the couple to maintain a "normal" relationship. Way to make us into Yoko. [Reuters]
• Conversely, Nicole Kidman finally confirms that she and Keith Urban are engaged. In her second shot at marriage, Kidman will presumably get laid. [People]
• In the June issue of GQ, Christina Aguilera tells of an unpleasant interaction with a drunken Mariah Carey. Aguilera's sympathetic, though — she knows Carey's all doped up. [Page Six]
• The Oakland A's lose to the Yankees because of a waitress named Charity, who got Nick Swisher and Joe Blanton sufficiently wasted at Plumm the night before the game. [R&M]
• Denis Leary tells Elle that he'd rather shoot himself in the head than sleep with another man. That's fine — Chelsea doesn't need you anyhow! [Lowdown (last item)]
• OK: Keith Richards is fucking amazing. After a brain hemorrhage, he rebounds enough to resume touring with the Rolling Stones. Nothing can kill this man. [Page Six]

· Oh yeah, Nicole Kidman got engaged to that country music guy, but this one seems a little more hetero solid than the one Renee Zellweger married for ten minutes not too long ago.
· We didn't get around to getting our Trump fix last night, but apparently Jeffrey Katzenberg showed up to whore for Over the Hedge on The Apprentice, and in return for his cameo got a major reacharound from one of the contestants.
· Here's a list of male celebrities with varying degrees of facial hair growth (with facial hair commentary!) as compiled by USA Today. If you actually click on the link and view the list we will probably lose all respect for you.
· Anyone to whom the phrase "You're with me, leather" means anything in a non-BDSM context should immediately watch this video at Deadspin and be amazed and delighted.

A shocking admission by Tom Cruise in the new issue of Good Housekeeping suddenly throws a new light on his controversial relationship with Katie Holmes. Notes People.com:

• Amongst bad-guy PI Anthony Pellicano's tapes are recordings of phone calls from Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, reports Vanity Fair. In one, Kidman jokes to a friend, "So, Tom, are you listening Tom? Am I saying what what you want me to say?" Well, that choice bit should clear up any questions about Cruises "marriage" deals. [R&M]
• It's official: Nothing is ever good in Teri Hatcher's world. Yesterday a lightbulb exploded on the set of Desperate Housewives, leaving the star with an eyepatch after having to have a shard of glass removed from her eye. Maybe Clooney should send her some flowers. [IMDb]
• Just weeks after having her second child, Gwyneth Paltrow emerges looking "slimmer than ever." Kill at will, ladies. [Lowdown]
• The Paris Hilton doppelganger isn't that good at her game — she was ejected and banned from Stereo after trying to squeeze herself between Axl Rose and Stephon Marbury. [Page Six]
• Calvin and Kelly Klein finalize their divorce, and it only took them 10 years of separation to do so. Calvin's probably treating himself to a celebratory cabana boy right now. [Page Six]

• Though they announced their separation on Friday, Russell Simmons claims that things are rather cozy between him and Kimora, and there's still a chance for reconciliation. But don't tell that to Denise Vasi, the 23-year-old who's been dating Russell. [Lowdown]
• Howard Stern warns Katie that should she go to CBS, ratings will drop and CBS will find a way not to pay her. Then what? We can't see her legs on satellite radio. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman is rumored to have had her 11-year marriage to bouncy psycopath Tom Cruise annulled so that she can marry Keith Urban in a Catholic ceremony. Cue flack denials. [Scoop]
• For the public opening of his company, Diddy misses the bell at the NYSE. Can't expect a playa to get up before 12, yo. [Page Six]
• Now that he's off of cocaine, actor Kiefer Sutherland has redirected his focus towards cooking. Since he loved the ritual of preparing his stash for consumption, he now gets off on the crushing and cutting garlic cloves. [R&M (2nd item)]

· Universal picks up the rights to the forthcoming memoir How Starbucks Saved My Life, about an ad exec who loses his job and becomes a professional macchiato slinger, with the intention of having Tom Hanks don the green apron. Of course, the book's author was in his 60s during the personal crisis, but fudging the age downward should make the whole story that much more poignant as the humbled, middle-aged Hanks struggles to master the frappuccino blender. [THR]
· Nicole Kidman and writer Simon Kinberg will "team up" (can't you see them high-fiving after he delivers some rewrites?) for a spy thriller already acquired by Regency Enterprises and 20th Century Fox. Think the Bourne Identity, but with a hotter—and more female—Matt Damon. Those killing-machine superspies are always losing their memories! [THR]
· Walken. Ping pong. Balls of Fury. Choppy grammar meant to express overwhelming excitement. [Variety]
· Think the underdog-filled Final Four totally screwed your brackets? Think about what they might do to CBS's ratings. [THR]
· SAG members have "strongly backed" a strike against cable TV over residuals, threatening to shut down Monk, Nip/Tuck, The Shield, and whatever other shows we should be watching when we're killing our souls on Blowout reruns. [Variety]

Today's Page Six reports that Nicole Kidman has been questioned by the FBI in connection with the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, as Pellicano had seemingly recorded the actress talking to Tom Cruise during the couple's divorce proceedings:

• Nicole Kidman is questioned by the FBI, and reporters trying to write about Steven Seagal received death threats (presumably from the public.) [Page Six]
• Jessica Simpson decides life is too short to spend an evening with intellectual inferiors. [NYDN]
• Lizzie Grubman and her future husband enjoy his-and-hers stripper table dances, plan to wed this Saturday in a secret undisclosed white-trash snubbing location. Do people still care about Lizzie Grubman? Isn't she sort of 2002? [Page Six]
• Candidate-for-sainthood Bono is apparently quite the gossip. Which is the polite way of saying that once you get an Irishman talking there's nothing you can do to shut him up. [R&M]

As a coda to her controversial column "Nicole Kidman deserves to be happy," antediluvian tattler Liz Smith notes that her own recent appearance on "CBS Sunday Morning" sent her book Dishing (a "little work about celebrity and food"; and here we'd thought Gael Greene had cornered the market on geriatric culinary gossip) soaring toward the rafters of the Amazon rankings. In a subtle dig at the inability of The Post to move merchandise, Liz puts this down to the power of television. We're just impressed that the seven aged viewers of "CBS Sunday Morning" were able to switch from their TV screens to their internet connections and successfully order the book, which, hopefully, is available in large-print format.

• Madonna reportedly celebrated her Grammy performance by heading over to Cedars-Sinai for hernia surgery. Yes, she is human — and Kabbalah apparently doesn't protect her from intestinal bulges. [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan and daughter Lindsay reportedly have a public spat about Lindsay's partying. Mom's tired of staying out until dawn, but Lindsay just can't go out and blow rails without supervision. [Page Six]
• The wedding of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban reportedly looms near. No clue if the ex-Thetan is invited, but here's hoping. [PC]
• Paris Hilton's forthcoming album contains a song about her falling-out with Nicole Richie. As you can imagine, it's lyrically powerful and emotionally potent. Just like herpes. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Edie Falco, who wore no makeup for her role in Freedomland, leaves a showing of the film, unable to stand her de-spackled face. [Lowdown (3rd to last)]
• Bill Clinton suggests that perhaps VP Dick Cheney should not have shot his friend in the face. We miss you Bill. Come back. [R&M]

• Britney Spears might be a repeat offender when it comes to child neglect. Spears' other repeated offenses include releasing albums, wearing scrunchies, and humping K-Fed. [TMZ]
• Courtney Love reportedly has her shit together and was acting, yes, like a lady at the Chateau Marmont. Unfortunately, she's so reformed that we're not sure New York will ever get her back. Time to start auditioning replacements. [Page Six]
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban give one another cold, Aussie glares. [IOL]
• Jay-Z is reportedly at work at another album. No surprise there — everyone knows that when speaking Hova, "retirement" means "new record." [Page Six]
• Mario Batali's landlord thinks he's a orange-clogged pirate. [Lowdown]
• Ralph Fiennes ends his 11-year romance with Francesca Annis. 'Tis the season, after all. [R&M]

• American Idol Clay Aiken engaging in hot homo sex with a former Green Beret? Golly, we can't imagine. Actually, we can — but only if Clay bottomed. [Page Six]
• And there's this detailed description of said hot homo sex, which will make the Claymates either cry or masturbate. [R&M]
• Jessica Simpson engages in assplay with Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine; the girl just can't stay away from metrosexual pop boys, can she? [Page Six]
• For the inevitable Arianna Huffington-Tim Russert cage match, we'll be putting our money on Huffington. Her well-manicured nails would easily pierce Russert's tender, puffy flesh. [Lowdown]
• Nicole Kidman's engagement ring isn't really that pretty. We always thought she was more of a classic setting, brilliant-cut type of girl. [OAN]