A mysterious figure has been breaking into luxury boutiques in the early hours of the morning and stealing only the finest luxury goods like $260 jeans and $23,000 of designer sunglasses.

Using wizardry — GPS analysis of six months' cab trips—some clever people have plotted exactly where the best place to get a cab is at any time. Clue: it's not likely to be Penn Station at 9am. [NYT]

People keep asking us if we've seen this Times article about up-and-coming young bloggers. Yes, we are a young blogger, of course we have seen it. So what. Wait... you don't actually think we're jealous?

James Toback (Two Girls and a Guy, Tyson) was on the prowl yesterday. For romance. The 65-year-old writer/director hit on a 24-year-old lady, who he'd unwittingly cruised once before. He promised to make her a Star. Her harrowing tale below.

A guy leaped over a barrier surrounding the observation deck of the Empire State Building yesterday, falling 86 floors to his death. More than 30 people have jumped from the building since 1931. [NYT] (Pic via)

[No one looked happy to see an increased counterterrorism presence on the New York City subway after terrorists threatened the Moscow subway system yesterday. Image via Splash]

A New York State Senator is receiving attention for something merely ridiculous, not evil or destructive. Thanks, Senator Eric Adams, for making hilarious videos about sagging pants and not funneling money to a fake non-profit or slashing anyone.

Today in Out-dated Laws That May Apply to You: The Times exposes the 1950s-era prohibition against more than three unrelated people living together in a single dwelling. It is still on the books! Are you breaking the law right now?

Michelle Obama took the kids to Grimaldi's in Brooklyn today. Outrageous! Everyone knows the crust at Di Fara is better—why won't you listen to the people? (Also the people demand you tell us how Tottono's is since they reopened.)

The crooner, divorcer, and out of control stunt driver recently bought a $3.3m place right on our block. Beware, colleagues! Beware passersby and Public diners! Vroom vroom could soon be the sound of your doom. [NYM]

Tax time is fast upon us, so New York's Department of Taxation and Finance has released its list of top delinquent taxpayers. One of them is Frederick Whittemore, a recently retired lifelong bigwig at Morgan Stanley. Taxes are for suckers!

Many things are ending in New York these days. From where we sleep to where we bob across the water to Staten Island to where we place our bets to where we Do It, all of New York is disappearing.

New York University, a fantastically expensive diploma mill for the children of the leisure class, is going to buy the rest of Greenwich Village, put up some towers, and then expand into downtown Brooklyn and Governors Island.

With the fun people out of the Senate race, New Yorkers have to settle for Joe DioGuardi, who is famous because he fathered that American Idol lady. He is Twittering! He has 74 followers. (Kara is not one of them.)

Tonight's Real Housewives of New York was all about "elephants in the room." A theme carried throughout last night's show reached its apex when Jill Zarin stopped by Alex's apartment and saw another giant animal she just could not ignore.

In case you weren't worried enough about runaway taxis and poison rats, now your scenic balcony that you pay a lot of extra rent for could kill you.

Former State Senator Hiram Monserrate lost his bid to take back his seat yesterday. Monserrate says he may make a run for his old Assembly seat next. We have some other suggestions for him!

US Senate candidate Joe DioGuardi's official YouTube channel offers this video, apparently filmed with a Flip camera pointed at a TV, of DioGuardi's appearance on Fox & Friends this morning. He fathered someone you may have heard of!

Today in Queens, there is a special election for the State Senate seat of face-slashing gay-hating Hiram Monserrate. Hiram's running, along with two people who aren't violent psychopaths.

3 out of 4 New York cabbies have price gouged, a city investigation finds.