We never get the good taxis:

• Ghostface, RZA, and the rest of Wu-Tang (RIP, ODB) take over Webster Hall tonight. Expect just as many people on stage as in the crowd. flavorpill]
• Head to the 'Slope and indulge blog-buzz band du jour Takka Takka; they perform with Slowlands at Union Hall. Catch them now before they hit the road with Clap Your Hands Say Whatever. [Brooklyn Vegan]
• Amongst the talent in tonight's Other Talent Show, Post scribe Mandy Stadtmiller will take the stage to reenact Andy Dick's insanity from William Shatner's roast. There might even be some ladybag-grabbing. How could you say no? At $6, it's bargain entertainmnt. Mo Pitkins, 34 Avenue A, 9:30 PM.

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. This is our occasional, old-school compilation.

• Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings give a 1-2 R&B/Soul punch tonight in Jackie Robinson Park. See the sights above 14th street tonight! [flavorpill]
• We Googled (is that an acceptable usage if we really did use Google?) "Outside the Box" to try and figure out what it is, but we still have no clue. Anyway: free beer. [WUNYC]
• The Martha Graham Dance Company shakes its tail feather at Lincoln Center. Three more respectable events, and we'll finally stop with the David Blaine jokes. [Lincoln Center]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send your celeb-hunting adventures to tips@gawker.com.

• If ballet alone doesn't interest you, try ballet and a little something extra: the Smuin Ballet showcases its moves to Sinatra and Bela Fleck, among others. [flavorpill]
• Fancy-schmancy bookstore Rizzoli sells pretty books for cheap. If you can't be smart, might as well look smart. [Paper]
• Radical Andy reads from his dreamy propaganda in which "the US government has been disbanded by a man who thinks he is dead...and where a boy who talks to trees can shape reality to his every whim." Eat your shrooms and put on your anarchist hat before you go. [WUNYC]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• This week at Bryant Park: Charade, with Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn. The free outdoor stuff can't last that much longer, so hop on board while you still can. [flavorpill]
• Risky Business inspires a crystal egg-filled art show. Because nothing related to Tom Cruise is safe from interpretation. [Paper]
• Mighty Sparrow and Toots and the Maytals rock out as part of the Carlos Lezama Caribbean Music Festival. Maxi Priest will be there; bonus points if you shamelessly sing along to that one song you know. [Prefix]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; this is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• The Fringe Festival takes the city by storm. They may be whackos, but God Bless anyone who allows you to see a play without venturing to Times Square. [flavorpill]
• The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Sonic Youth are all sold. Some of the high-schoolers will inevitably get grounded, though, so you should check Craigslist for extra tickets. Or try again tomorrow. [Prefix]

Because batteries are a bitch, our video of the actual show is nonexistent — but as you can see, Jimmy Fallon (!) and Jeffrey Jones (!!) joined the throngs of uptowners, tourists, and i-bankers on "culture" dates for some pre-show festivities. With all the kinky fun in one place, it figures that Principal Rooney would make an appearance.

• First an Adrien Brody/Diet Coke commercial, now the Hudson River: watch Lyrics Born rocket its way to stardom tonight at RiverRocks. Rjd2 and Alice Smith are along for the ride. [flavorpill]
• On the other side of our fair isle, the Brooklyn Bridge Park screens Bonnie & Clyde. Head on over for some "seminal counter-culture" and a glimpse at Faye Dunaway before gravity got to her. [WUNYC]
• Lincoln Center hosts an all-girl break dancing extravaganza. And you thought it couldn't get any worse after David Blaine. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our completely ironic Gawker Stalker Map. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

• For some inexplicable reason, Candi Staton chooses Bowery Ballroom as the venue for her first NYC show in 20 years. Frankly, the Lower East Side could use some Southern soul and gospel. [flavorpill]
• Cheap and charitable: shop for a good cause tonight at the AccesSoiree Sale and Benefit. Proceeds go the Children's Action Network (and your closet). [WUNYC]
• BAM screens a sneak preview of Ryan Gosling's new movie, Half Nelson. Finally — our Notebook DVD was getting all worn out. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; this is our occasional, old-school compilation. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

• Fountains, a group art show, takes its cues from a urinal. A urinal and a dream. [flavorpill]
• Speaking of pee, former urine haven McCarren Park Pool hosts a screening of The French Connection. Music starts at 7, movie at sunset. [SummerScreen]
• If there is anyone worth schelpping to Long Island for, it's Bret Michaels. Poison plays at Jones Beach tonight; bring extra lighters for "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by New Yorker-sensibility-offending readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

• The Flying Luttenbachers are not a circus act, but their music kind of sounds like one. [flavorpill]
• Nothing says "Cold War thriller" like Old Blue Eyes and picnic blankets in Bryant Park. Catch the Manchurian Candidate and revel in your thriftiness. [WUNYC]
• One Ring Zero at P.S. 122 features an all-star cast including, but not limited to, Jonathan Lethem, Margaret Atwood, Paul Aster, and Dave Eggers. Fawn over writing/Brooklyn royalty tonight at 7. [Paper]

Sightings are sent in by readers and posted to our Gawker Stalker Map; this is our occasional rundown, OG-style. Send your sightings to tips@gawker.com.

Friday:
• Embrace the relative cool with Hot Chip and Oppenheimer at the South Street Seaport. The free music should make up for any odor complaints. [flavorpill]
• Learn how to pronounce Quincea era at an indie theater near you. Bonus points if you roll the appropriate consonants. [TONY]