In the April issue of Allure, Britney Spears gave an interview in which she reflected on her newfound domesticity. Her insight:

Gee, it's sort of hard to tell whose name and likeness is meant to sell Teany Book: A blend of stories, food, romance and of course tea.

From The New York Times 'Business' Addenda column:

If there's one thing everyone in the wholewideworld can agree on, it's that working at a magazine leads to lots of shiny, free stuff. And if you were envious of beauty editors bathing in complimentary "samples" of La Mer (oh, honey, you KNOW they do), take a look at what the lucky kids from Wenner Media get: Heidi Klum's new candy! Last week, Mrs. Seal headed to midtown to promote her new book and candy, Heidi's Fruit Flirtations — which, according to the "hand-written" note on the back of the package, are her favorite candy from Germany (fat-free, of course). We hear Janice Min likes the strawberry flavor, which features a cute kissy-face design.

Today's epistemological question comes via The New York Times' 'Style' section: Can a woman stalk her own husband?

Well, the editor's name is 'Healy.'

'Tis the season for revivification, and so the Times summons Post gossip relic Liz Smith from her cryogenic chamber to comment on the changing face of gossip:

What does a right wing rag do after taking down a President? Slam a joke textbook by a fake news anchor and his writers. Yeah, sometimes in the absence of whales, fish in a barrel will have to do.

Earlier: A Picture's Worth a Thousand Editorials [Salon]

In this week's New Yorker, Henry Alford does Nick Hornby's High Fidelity one better by presenting 'My Exes: The Set Lists,' in which he walks us through his relationships using original compositions like:
· Your Carol Channing Obsession Explain
· Although I Have a Great Big Novel Inside Me, I Am Still Able to Enjoy Reading Your Little Articles
· Medley: I Really, Really Liked Your Editor at Vanity Fair / Do You Want to Invite Your Editor from Vanity Fair? / Many of My Activities and Friends Would Excite (if Captured Faithfully in the Pages of Vanity Fair)
· I Have All This Free Time Now (dance mix)

Today's Under the Rainbow Award for most obscure reference to an all-little person movie goes to New York Magazine, who used the hilarious headline Terror Comes to Tiny Town for Laura Miller's review of Jonathan Safran Foer's Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close.

You'd think that, in honor of the resurrection and all, T-Bro would bring out the big guns for last night's episode of Topic A. But you'd be wrong. Instead, she proclaimed Amanda Peet was "red-hot" and "young," referred to a child star as a "heartthrob," and dubs Carson Kressley as "the ultimate New York gay guy." (Breaking!) It was enough to make Henry the Intern switch the channel to The Ten Commandments. Thankfully, he endured the battle against boredom for his weekly report.

From a particularly This is Spinal Tap-ish New York Times 'Week in Review' Correction:

From the Gawker mailbag:

Not sure, but it seems intuitively true.

In this special holiday preview of The Gotti Diet, we focus on a chapter written by Frank's mother, Victoria:

· We can't wait for LOVE Magazine. Mostly because of the possible headline puns. [NYP]
· Who said sex ends with marriage? Columnist and "marriage expert" Maggie Gallagher still gets probed. [WaPo]
· Obsessive cable TV news watcher, James Wolcott, wants a wide shot in Florida. That's a metaphor, right? [James Wolcott]
· The Post sure loves running photos of women smacking each other. No clue why it's overlooked by the Pulitzer committee every year. [NYP]

Another day, another roman clef:

From Bill O'Reilly's syndicated column in the print edition of The New York Post:

After being sentenced to 17 months in jail and 4 months of rehabd for violating his probation, actor Tom Sizemore can't shake the feeling that things would've been different if he'd just killed Heidi Fleiss.