Breathe easy, New York — Judith Regan will be heading to the West coast, leaving our high-ranking public servants safely married:

· Remember 'zines? (We don't either.) Anyway, 'zines are so old, they've been relegated to museums. Do you think in ten years blogs will be too? (We don't either.) [Design Center]
· The Los Angeles Times profiles bOING bOING's Xeni Jardin, "a very specific sort of rising star, the type born of the 21st century whose celebrity is fluid and self-made she's a journalist, a blogger, a TV personality, an artist and an entrepreneur." [Xeni.net, via Boing Boing]
· What's not to love about Christopher Hitchens? A lot, apparently: preening, truculence, namedropping, sophistry, perversity. Also, his nasty chest pelt. Hitch your shirt button, Chris! [n+one]
· Deep thoughts on Arrested Developments symbolic castration anxiety. [NYM]

We were testing you, really, by making you wait until 3:30 to address the latest from Times reporter-laureate Jennifer 8. Lee, in which she discovers that two straight men can indeed be friends! Just follow the simple rules of man-dating:

There's nothing that gets Intern Alexis more excited than a good ol' examination of deadly epidemics, so this week's New York Times Book Review was sure to delight. After relishing the double-fisted coverage of polio, Alexis looks into the NYTBR's Vanity Fair/blogger hivemind and finally confesses her illiteracy. Her weekly review follows.

We're only running this item so that this quote remains on the internet for as long as our servers, Google cache, and the pre-super nova earth allows.

We know you can barely bring yourself to skim any Radar coverage, but sometimes it's worth a closer reading:

In this week's New Yorker, Rebecca Mead swings by "Neutron" Jack and Suzy "Homewrecker" Welch's book party at the Four Seasons and asks Barry Diller for a gushy, expletive-riddled quote about the guest of honor:

In this week's New York, Chris Suellentrop looks at the two Seymour Hershes:

Radar Creative Director Richard Christiansen and Editor, Maer Roshan: "It's not exactly right, is it?" "No, but it only has to work for two issues."

This weekend, The New York Times unveiled its newly redesigned Sunday three page Op-Ed spread. All this, just to pack Frank Rich into the mix along with all the other stuff you've spilled your coffee on every Sunday for decades.

This week on Topic A, Henry the Intern finally had the release he was waiting for: coverage of Prince Charles' wedding to his longtime mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles. Back on Tina's adopted side of the pond, Condi Rice is an "iron girl," Liz Smith talks of her new I Love Celebrities So Much, It Makes Me Wanna Bake book, and Lloyd Grove admits he has no life. After the jump, Henry's giddy review.

Click to enlarge, because knowledge is power.
Look outside; do you see the difference? Can you feel the magic? Children are dancing in the street. Old women are weeping and dancing with joy. Soldiers are carrying carnations instead of grenades. Things have changed out there, and we'll tell you why: the National Enquirer has relaunched, positioning itself somewhere in the gray area between its original self, Us, and People. Praise Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

Skirting the issue because of personal preferences, no doubt. We appreciate the professionalism.

· Seismic change in the culture heralded by... a New Yorker cartoon? [LA Mag]
· Poor conservative bloggers: sometimes those awesome forged memos are real. [Salon]
· You knew it had to happen sooner or later: Jeff Gannon and Ana Marie Cox go at it on cable. We can think of at least one fixation these two share. [Wonkette]
· Report: Men Spend More on Video Games Than Music; Nothing on Foreplay. [Reuters, via I Want Media]

You know what's funny? When shows like Access Hollywood claim to have a rebuttal from, say, Brad Pitt regarding his "relationship" with Angelina Jolie:

Hey, have you heard that there's a gang of obsessed Star Wars nerds camping out in front of the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd, even though there's a chance that the movie won't be premiering there? So has the LAT...four days after the story unfolding right under their nose first broke. But what the Times lacks in timeliness they attempt to make up in definitiveness, deftly leading their story with a serviceable FAQ of The Line:

We couldn't bear to turn on the television ourselves, but the summary is just as we suspected:

Yeah, on FOX News. The Pope's in The No Spin Zone!

You can't make this shit up. And by "this shit," we mean the recruiting tactics of Life & Style magazine — you know, that one celebrity weekly you use to line the litter box.

As we mentioned yesterday, coming soon to Las Vegas, NBC's blingiest one hour drama series: Maxim's 'Hot 100' party.