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 Look outside; do you see the difference? Can you feel the magic? Children are dancing in the street. Old women are weeping and dancing with joy. Soldiers are carrying carnations instead of grenades. Things have changed out there, and we'll tell you why: the National Enquirer has relaunched, positioning itself somewhere in the gray area between its original self, Us, and People. Praise Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

The AMI trash factor is still present (Michael Douglas' face lift!), the smiley, celebrity kiss-uppery has increased (How to look fabulous, just like Paula Abdul!), and the soccer mom contingent will still be pleased with trite human interest fare (I was shamed into losing weight for my class reunion!). Our personal favorite feature, however, is Anna Nicole Smith's regular page, which she "writes" all by herself. Extra bonus: You can almost see the smudges from her drool!