“Gov. John Kasich of Ohio expressed openness this weekend to considering Judge Merrick B. Garland for the Supreme Court, only to later clarify that he was just being polite and would not, in fact, choose him for the court.”

With Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio out of the running, Ohio Governor John Kasich is the establishment candidate no one saw coming. And sure, compared to the rest of the GOP’s increasingly terrifying sideshows in suits, Kasich comes across as sane. But don’t be fooled: John Kasich is just as much of a monster as the rest—he just hides it better.

Last night’s primaries likely provided great clarity in the presidential races on both sides. On the Republican side, Marco Rubio dropped out after a drubbing in Florida and John Kasich took the mantle as establishment favorite after a relatively easy win in his home state of Ohio. As for the Democrats, Hillary Clinton swept Bernie Sanders in four important states. And then there’s Missouri.

John Kasich, who wants to roll back abortion rights and would probably be very rude about it, was very unhappy with the confetti situation at his non-victory speech in New Hampshire last month. So his staff bought all the confetti in Ohio for his (first and only) primary victory speech.

John Kasich just took Ohio—his first and only state win so far. And fortunately for him, Ohio also just so happens to be a winner-take-all state. It’s just too bad it’s nearly impossible for him to win at this point.

Well-heeled New Englander Mitt Romney will be hitting the campaign trail in Ohio in support of John Kasich today, NBC News reports. Romney has made it clear that he is not endorsing his fellow governor, and that the stops are part of his larger effort to make sure that anyone but Donald Trump is the nominee. It’s unclear how much he’s helping on that front.

In his retirement from public office, John Boehner is a man whose lawn maintenance has become far more important than the looming crisis in his political party. “I’m not really interested in getting in the middle of all this,” the former Speaker of the House said, just before he inserted himself back into the middle of all this.

A few days ago, Jeb Bush reportedly met with Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Marco Rubio in Miami. Why would three of the final four Republican candidates agree to a summit with the campaign’s giant-ass loser? Well, Erick Erickson has a pretty good theory:

Chrissie Thompson and Jessie Balmert of the Cincinnati Enquirer report that a campaign staffer for John Kasich, the governor of Ohio and fourth-place Republican presidential candidate, was fired today after the campaign learned he had been arrested late last year on domestic violence charges:

Ohio Governor John Kasich, who has been running for the Republican nomination for president for seven months, decided last night that he would like to be president, after all. At a town hall on Tuesday, he told voters, “I don’t know if my purpose is to be president,” but in an interview with Fox News’ Megyn Kelly last night, he corrected himself.

Last night, your favorite Republican candidate once again got massacred by Donald Trump. It might seem like things are getting pretty dire. It’s going to be hard for you to defend your favorite Republican candidate to your co-workers at the water cooler, where you all discuss politics daily. But you really shouldn’t worry. Honestly. Your favorite Republican candidate is going to beat Donald Trump, there’s no question about it. Just listen to their campaigns!

At the Republican town hall on Thursday, a questioner prefaced his inquiry about Obamacare by introducing himself as a Michigan State fan—but not before mispronouncing Ohio Governor John Kasich’s name.

The existence and meaning of the “Bernie Bro” will continue to be contested by a bored and desperate political media, but the Tinder Berners, women who attempted to “take over” Tinder with messages of support for Bernie Sanders are for real—real enough that they’re now being banned from the dating app. But what if a single-n-flirty gal decided to chat up horny men about Ohio governor John Kasich?

Remember when the Republican debate moderators completely forgot about the existence of John Kasich on Saturday night? Well the Governor of Ohio will not be silenced—in fact, he’s gaining in the polls, and fast.

In what we can only hope was a sign of what’s to come, the ABC GOP debate kicked off with the most bizarre candidate walk-out any of us will likely ever see. Ben Carson appeared to refuse to go on stage, the moderators literally forgot about John Kasich, and both Carson and Trump had to eventually be begged before finally shuffling out from the shadows. This candidate clusterfuck alone almost makes the entire, terrible election worth it.

John Kasich enjoys a reputation as perhaps the most mainstream and down-to-earth Republican presidential candidate. He will cannily use this reputation to create a new U.S. Government Judeo-Christian Propaganda Agency—with beams.

Jeb Bush, by some measures, despises conflict. This is, of course, an especially curious personality trait for someone running for a presidential nomination in one of the largest fields ever. Case in point would be Bush getting railroaded multiple times by John Kasich in last night’s debate.

On Facebook, presidential candidate Deez Nuts (a.k.a. 15-year-old Brady Olson) endorsed Democrat Bernie Sanders and Republican John Kasich for their parties’ respective nominations. “This is not for the general election,” he clarified. “I endorse myself for the GE.”

It’s time. Tomorrow night, at 9 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, ten drunk clowns are going to fight with each other on national television for the chance to make wildly important decisions that affect each and every one of our livelihoods. It is going to be a god damn masterpiece.