The Ivy League's side hustle—pricey summer camps that don't improve a student's chances of admission—are raking in revenue by preying "on the anxiety of parents."

ThinkProgress goes long on this question: "If [Jason "Latinos Have Low IQs" Richwine's] dissertation was bad enough to get him fired from the Heritage Foundation, how did it earn him a degree from Harvard?"

Last night, the Harvard University men's basketball team—considered scrappy underdogs in this, but no other, field—upset New Mexico in the NCAA tournament, to the exclusive delight of Harvard alumni. Yet today, in a bit of reassuring proof of the existence of karmic justice, comes news of a Harvard cheating scandal. HIDE YOUR SHAME, HARVARD DEVIANTS: your quiz bowl team was dirty.

It's just about time for Hannukkah and anti-semites all over Boston are spreading pretty hateful stuff around.

A Harvard student club that has been meeting stealthily for over a year to discuss matters of bondage and discipline is set to receive formal recognition form the university's Committee on Student Life according to The Crimson.

This Boston Globe story on a Hong Kong family that decided to hire the "admissions consultant" firm IvyAdmit—led by a former Harvard professor—to get their kids into Harvard must be read to be believed. There is a lawsuit now, of course. Briefly:

The privileged young people of Harvard College are not often recognized for their integrity and backbone. They made a whole movie about how Zuckerberg stole Facebook from the terrible Winklevoss twins, for instance. And just last week more than 100 Harvard students came under fire for a cheating scandal that reportedly found them plagiarizing and colluding with one another on the take-home final exam. But today, two editors at the Harvard Crimson are returning some credibility to the ivy-est of Ivy League schools.

Is there anything millenials can't ruin? Harvard University used to be a fairly well-respected Boston-area school. But now that they've been letting millenials in? "Harvard College's disciplinary board is investigating nearly half of the 279 students who enrolled in Government 1310: "Introduction to Congress" last spring for allegedly plagiarizing answers or inappropriately collaborating on the class' final take-home exam."

Forehead Tyra Banks recently sat down with The Hollywood Reporter to discuss Cycle 19 of America's Next Top Model (all the judges and mentors you love—Nigel, Jay, and Miss J—have been fired and replaced with sandbags with frowny faces drawn on them), her hopes for the show's future (it's been moved to Fridays at 8 p.m., so: none), and what it's like being literally the most respected and best person in America.

Ted Kaczynski, better known to mail recipients everywhere as the Unabomber, was sentenced to life in prison without parole for killing three people and injuring nearly two dozen others, so it came as little surprise to his former Harvard classmates that he was unable to attend their 50th class reunion.

Continuing what is now apparently a tradition of having SNL alums deliver its commencement speeches, Harvard invited Andy Samberg to impart his "unqualified" pearls and impressions (Mark Zuckerberg, Mark Wahlberg, and Nicholas Cage all make a cameo appearance) to the graduating class of 2012.

Harvard psychologists have found that people are so desperate to share random bits of information about themselves (their habits, their likes and dislikes, what, all bullshit aside, they really think of Girls), they are willing to give up ACTUAL FREE MONEY to do it.

So Andrew Breitbart's belated death-rattle made its debut last night, and here's what it is: Barack Obama, in 1990, gave a speech saying nice things about a bad man named Derrick Bell. He also hugged the bad man, Derrick Bell. Ipso facto reduction ad absurdum habeas corpus hocus pocus, Barack Obama is a bad man as well. Airtight.

Let's learn about Harvard kids and their senses of humor! A Harvard tipster sends us the following explanation for the video you see above:

Nice.

Remember Patrick Witt, the Yale quarterback who chose the Yale-Harvard game over a chance at a Rhodes scholarship? As it turns out, it wasn't much of a choice: Witt's Rhodes candidacy had already been withdrawn over allegations of sexual assault.

Last Thursday, a 27-year-old named Abe Liu was cited by Harvard police for "using a falsified identification card" and warned against trespassing in college dorms. It was apparently the first time he'd encountered the police—but he'd spent the semester posing as a Harvard College freshman, sleeping in friends' dorm rooms and even posing for a fashion feature in The Harvard Crimson, apparently because he "was lonely."

GZA, the man who becomes the head when Wu-Tang Clan forms like Voltron, will be giving a guest lecture at Harvard next month. Better than a mountain climber who plays an electric guitar, amirite? This "Ivy League lecture as album promo tour trend" is the coolest thing to happen to the Ivy League since the Dartmouth meth lab.

Behold: the snobbiest Harvard University merchandise ever created. A company selling t-shirts and pinnies for Harvard-Yale football game has a special line of OCCUPY YALE shirts. Slogan: "We are the 6%."

Updated. Three hundred protesters marched through Cambridge, Massachusetts last night. Their goal: Occupying Harvard Yard. Arriving at the edge of campus, the protesters found the University's gates locked and guarded by a phalanx of campus police. Boston's CBS affiliate reports: