The Talented Mr. Adam Wheeler—the "crypto-tendentious" literary beefcake convicted of larceny, identity theft, and fraud for scamming his way into Harvard—is back in jail for violating the terms of his probation. His mistake: repeating that old lie about being Harvard material. The Harvard Crimson reports:

Poking, he gets. Friending, the verb, he invented. But Mark Zuckerberg is still a little unclear on the whole concept of a high five, as evidenced by the above photo from his visit to Harvard earlier this week.

Yale University quarterback Patrick Witt is "every inch the football hero," "a contender for the NFL draft," "the most accurate passer in Yale history." He is also very smart, with a 3.91 GPA and a shot at the Rhodes Scholarship.

Elite college newspaper The Harvard Crimson has noticed a trend: Sometimes during class, people play with Facebook instead of pay attention.

Should Mike Moradian get a Harvard MBA? Or should Mike Moradian forever change education with his awesome web startup? Mike Moradian is tortured by this decision, so he has asked the nation to think about what will make the brightest possible future for Mike Moradian and then to get back to Mike Moradian with a recommendation. Don't you already want to help?

Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss have responded to Larry Summers, the former Harvard president who earlier this week said of his first encounter with the litigious dyad (famously dramatized in The Social Network), "One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o'clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they're looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an asshole. This was the latter case."

The hard-hearted dream-destroyers of Harvard's admissions office have spoken: Grace Oberhofer, the Washington teen who became a viral star begging to get off Harvard's waitlist, did not get into Harvard. Instead she will go to Tufts, where she will spend the next four years deflecting "safety school" jokes. [FlyByBlog, IvyGate]

A new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association proposes taking obese children away from their parents until their weight can be brought under control.

Misha Glouberman is from Canada. He went to Harvard. At his 15-year reunion, he hosted an event called "Harvard Alumni Who Feel Weird About Harvard," then wrote a personal essay about it. Weird Harvard fact: In Canada, nobody cares about Harvard.

Last week we breathlessly reported on America's Whitest Colleges, which we deduced from a list of schools that had signed deals to have Brooks Brothers produce incredibly goofy clothing with their college logos. The single most shocking school that did not appear on that list: Yale. UNTIL NOW.

The parents of Kaavya Viswanathan — the former Harvard undergrad whose literary career was cut short after her first novel was discovered to be partially plagiarized — died early this morning when their small plane crashed at Rickenbacker International Airport in central Ohio.

Is Harvard getting into the internet porn game? Using some creative Googling, ZDnet's Stephen Chapman found pages of pervy links, keywords and images on official Harvard websites.

Ah, springtime in Cambridge! The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and the Harvard seniors are wetting their beds on a nightly basis at the prospect of entering "the real world." (As opposed to the elaborate hologram that is life on campus. You thought you lost your virginity in college? Guess again! That wasn't reality, it was a lucid dream.)

Pushy oaf Donald Trump has expanded his trenchant critique of Barack Obama's policy agenda: He's now wondering how Obama, a "terrible, terrible student," got into Columbia University and later Harvard Law School.

After 18 years of toiling under the Kumon-math-driving whip of Tiger Mother Amy Chua, Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld has launched a blog. Noooo! Don't waste your perfect brain on blogging! Don't you know bloggers are LOSERS, Sophia?!

Meet Grace Oberhofer, a Washington State teen who has been, gasp, waitlisted at the Stansbury of the east, Harvard University. Waitlisted? Noooo. So what is a disappointed and desperate Harvard wannabe to do? Well, if you're this girl you record a jokey yet still plainly earnest song pleading with the admissions office to let you onto the Yard.

A crack team of Harvard researchers have determined that "modern members of Congress spend about 27 percent of the time just taunting each other." That's much lower than we would have expected. It's great news!

Perfect daughter Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld—offspring of mean Chinese "tiger mother" Amy Chua—got into Harvard, and reportedly plans to matriculate this fall. Let the Chua family gloating commence. [ATL, image via Facebook]

"I often feel obliged to tell people, even if they don't ask, that it was Andover (not Harvard) that taught to me to think and write critically." Alexander Heffner is not waiting for your questions.

This year, Harvard's Hasty Pudding Theatrical Society named none other than Jay Leno as 2011's Man of the Year. Did you feel as though the reporters could have asked some tougher questions? You're not the only one.