Susan Schrivjer is fed up. The Fort Myers, Fla. mother has started a petition to get Toys 'R Us to remove Breaking Bad action figures from their shelves. "Kids mimic their action figures, if you will," she told WFTX. "Do you want your child in an orange jumpsuit?"

A cook at a Valrico, Fla. Chili's was fired from his job after he posted pictures of himself posing shirtless in the restaurant's kitchen to Facebook with the title "Sexy Cooks Of Chili's."

Yesterday, we brought you the story of Sean Johnson, a 19-year-old Floridian who was caught taking a stuffed horse off of a shelf at Walmart, masturbating with it in the bedding department, then returning it, covered in semen, to the shelf. Today, police released a photo of his equine paramour.

Teen boys: there's no telling where their libidos might take them. Nineteen-year-old Floridian Sean Johnson's took him to the stuffed animal section of a Tampa-area Walmart, then to its bedding department, then back to the stuffed animal section, and then to jail.

In any other of the 49 states, a football fan might express his admiration for the game with a bumper sticker, a custom jersey or—at the very most—a festively painted beer belly. But in Florida, the home of nude beach blow job jet ski fights, nothing less than a psycho full head tattoo will do, like the one seen here on St. Petersburg's Victor Thompson.

An alleged mother-son meth-making team managed to alert law enforcement to their activities when they accidentally dialed 911 while preparing for a cook at their Florida home.

Florida's largest, wildest retirement community, The Villages (population 107,000), apparently has a public sex problem. Deputies arrested a couple Monday for fucking out in the open on top of an electrical box, the second such arrest in 4 months.

Tallahassee police have placed officer Terry Mahan on paid administrative leave after video of him tasering unarmed 61-year-old Viola Young raised "enough concerns," Tallahassee Police Chief Michael DeLeo announced late Wednesday night. "They just tased a lady for nothing," the man heard in the video says. "They wonder why they're hated."

Devout Christians looking to spread the word of God sometimes need to get creative about where they're preaching—after all, anywhere could be the right place to convert an unbeliever. So why not discuss Bible verses with the guy you've invited over to fuck your wife?

After news broke yesterday that Jasmine Tridevil, 21, of Tampa had allegedly paid $20,000 to have a third boob implanted on her chest to make herself "unattractive to men," we've heard whispers in the wind (and read stories) that this Third Boob is a stunt, a hoax. It very well might be.

A massage therapist from Tampa, Fla. has spent $20,000 to get a third breast implanted dead center between the right one and the left one as a way to become unattractive to men. She claims that she isn't interested in dating anymore.

A Daytona Beach, Fla. man will go to prison for five years after his neighbors caught him in the act of raping and fondling his eight-month-old pit bull puppy named Coco.

You may have heard that the sea levels are rising. You may have heard that over the next several decades, rising seas will threaten major coastal cities. You may have surmised that it's dumb, then, to build houses right by the water. Not Florida!

Two adults and six children were killed in a shooting in Bell, Fla. this evening, Gilchrist County police confirm. The town, about 30 miles west of Gainesville, Fox Orlando reports, is home to about 350 people.

Dion Davis was allegedly robbing a Nokomis, Fla. home—he already had the jewelry all bagged up—when he apparently decided to lie down, just for a second. And then he probably decided, you know, for a second, to close his eyes and then he'd be on his way and...ZZZZZZZ.

Karen Marie Dilworth was arrested by police at her Ormond Beach, Fla. home after neighbors allegedly saw her sitting atop her motorcycle in her garage, masturbating. Amongst the audience was a neighbor's 13-year-old son.

In the latest stage of Shaquille O'Neal's career transition from beloved NBA big man to character in a Shaquille O'Neal film, the former center applied to become a reserve police officer in Doral, Florida last week. Preparing for an upcoming role in Kazaam 2: Crime Wizard, is he?

A two-year-old accidentally discharged his police officer father's f.380-caliber Kel-Tec semi-automatic pistol while the two were standing in line at a Wendy's in Middleburg, Fla. Shattered bullet fragments caused minor injuries to the boy's foot, his grandfather who was also waiting with him, and two other customers standing in line.

Lily Marie Hartwell, 14, of Port Richey, Fla. reportedly admitted to police that she set her family's home on fire early Thursday morning by soaking a blanket and towel with rum and bleach and then lighting them in her garage, knowing her mother and nine-year-old brother were asleep inside. Her family managed to escape the fire and when Hartwell was found later, she allegedly told police she frequents Slender Man sites Creepy Pasta and Soul Eater.

Middle school is a nightmare, and any impulse to avoid it is totally understandable. A Florida teenager who had the courage to fight back, however, was rewarded for his bravery this week with a pair of handcuffs and a trip to the St. Johns County jail.